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Prince Rainier III (1923-2005)
Rainier’s mother, Princess Charlotte, was actually illegitimate. Her father Louis II, getting older and with no legitimate children, legitimized her and made her his heir. She never took the throne, and in fact renounced her rights to her son, Rainier, the day before his 21st birthday.
Rainier became the Sovereign Prince of Monaco upon the death of his grandfather in 1949.
During WW2, Rainier served in the Free French Army. During the 40s and 50s he was in a long term relationship with the French film actress Gisele Pascal. Rainier’s sister, Princess Antoinette, wanted her own son to ascend to the throne, and spread rumors that Pascal was infertile. The rumors along with her treatment by the press and public ended their relationship.
After the war Monaco, a country who made its money primarily as a gambling origin, was in crisis as wealthy Europeans found their funds diminished after the war. To restore Monaco’s treasury Rainier decided to promote Monaco as a tax haven, and he personally took control of SBM (the company who owns the Monte Carlo Casino, Opera, and Hostel de Paris) in 1964. Prince Albert still retains a large share of the company and profits from it today.
Marriage:
Everyone knows this one. Rainier married American film star Grace Kelly in 1956.
Their marriage is rumored to have been turbulent. It is said that Grace struggled with adjusting to royal life, regretted ending her film career, and that Rainier had extramarital affairs. Her children have stated that though she was a loving mother, they spent more time with nannies than with their parents.
Grace's dress is iconic, but here you go if you want to revisit some photos from that day.
Rainier smoked up to 60 cigarettes per day, and in the last years of his life his health steadily declined. On March 8th, 2005 he entered the hospital for a lung infection and by the end of the month he was on a ventilator suffering from renal and heart failure. On March 31st he officially announced his son Albert, as regent, and on April 6th he died.
The Constitution
Monaco’s constitution stated that Monaco is a constitutional monarchy ruled by the hereditary princes of the Grimaldi. If the reigning prince were to die without leaving a male heir, Monaco, according to the treaty, would be incorporated into France. In 2002, realizing he had a 43 year old bachelor son, Rainier amended the constitution to allow the crown to pass to his daughters should Albert not marry.
Grace, Princess of Monaco (1929-1982)
Grace was born in Philadelphia to an affluent and influential family. Her father was an Olympian and a Democratic nominee for Mayor of Philadelphia and was appointed by President Roosevelt as National Director of Physical Fitness. Her mother taught physical education at the University of Pennsylvania and coached women’s athletics at Penn.
Her Uncle, George Kelly, was a Pulitzer prize winning dramatist, screenwriter, and director and used his influence to gain Grace admission to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York. Grace became one of the biggest movie stars of her generation.
In 1955 she was sent to the Cannes Film Festival and invited to appear in photos with Prince Rainier. After a year-long courtship, they were married in 1956.
Grace was not allowed to continue her acting career after her marriage. She instead devoted herself to her role as Princess, become heavily involved with the Red Cross of Monaco and the Rainbow Children Coalition.
On September 13, 1982, Kelly was driving back to Monaco after spending time at her country home. During the drive she had a stroke, lost control of her vehicle, and drove off the mountainside. She died a day later.
An article on their relationship
Prince Albert II (b. 1958)
Prince Albert is one of the wealthiest royals in the world with a net worth at more than $1B. He attended Amherst College in Massachusetts, studying political science, economics, music, and English literature, and completed his education with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science. He toured Europe in 1979 as part of the Amherst College Glee Club.
Albert competed in the bobsleigh for five consecutive Winter Olympics on behalf of Monaco, and was their flag bearer at the 1988, 1994, and 1998 Olympics. He is also a judo black belt.
He became Prince of Monaco when his father died in 2005.
Marriage:
Prior to his marriage his status as a bachelor was a hot topic of discussion. He was known to date well-known fashion models and actresses, however at age 53 had never married. It was rumored that Albert was gay, something he expressed great frustration with in the press. In 2006 he attended the opening ceremony of the Torino Olympics with South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock. They were engaged in 2010, and married in 2011.
There are rumors that Charlene tried to flee the country the day before their wedding. It is reported that the future bride, after discovering Albert may have fathered yet another child during their relationship, attempted to flee as many as three times before their wedding, however was always intercepted at the airport. It is also said she attempted to seek refuge at the South African embassy, and that officials in Monaco ended up hiding her passport so she could not leave the country.
Moreover, during their wedding, Charlene openly cried at parts, and Prince Albert was caught on camera begging her to kiss him. Honestly, she looked pretty miserable the whole time. The palace has denied all of these claims.
During their honeymoon, they stayed in separate hotels
Here's everything you ever needed to know about their wedding
Watch it
Prince Albert is passionate about the environment and an avid sportsman. Prince Albert speaks French, English, German, and Italian. He speaks English with basically no accent thanks to his American mother.
Illegitimate Children
In 2005, the day before Prince Rainier died, Albert publicly acknowledged he had fathered a son out of wedlock. In 2006, he confirmed he had also fathered a daughter. These children were barred from the line of inheritance because of a 2002 constitutional amendment requiring an heir’s parents to be married.
Alexandre (b. 2003)
Alexandre’s mother (Nicole Coste) was a flight attendant for Air France and met Prince Albert when he was a passenger on a flight. He asked for her number, the beginning of a years-long affair. The relationship ended at the insistence of Prince Rainier. Albert visited Alexandre and Nicole often, however when he refused to acknowledge Alexandre publicly, Nicole sold an interview and pictures to the media. Albert was in mourning for his father and made no public comment, but later did acknowledge paternity. Alexandre and Nicole live in France at an estate given to them by Albert.
Jazmin (b. 1992)
Jazmin’s mother, Tamara, met Albert while working as a waitress. Albert knew of Jazmin and visited her, however did not acknowledge her publicly until she was in high school to protect her identity. In 2006 the French magazine Voici published photographs of Jazmin and her mother on a visit to Monaco, outing her as Albert’s daughter. She has attended events with Albert and Charlene, and is listed as a sponsor for her father’s royal foundation.
An interview with Jazmin
Princess Charlene (b. 1978)
Born in Zimbabwe, Charlene’s family relocated to South Africa in 1989. She represented South Africa at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, finished fifth in the 4x100 meter relay.
Albert and Charlene met at the Mare Nostrum swimming competition in Monaco in 2000, however were not seen together until 2006.
Charlene converted to Roman Catholicism for her wedding, and has learned French and Monegasque after her move to Monaco. She is an ambassador for the Special Olympics, patron of the South African Red Cross, and is passionate about sport.
In recent news, she completed “the crossing” water bike challenge, a 180 kilometer water bike race for charity.
An interview with Charlene and Albert on the 1st birthday of their twins
Albert and Charlene have 2 children:
Hereditary Prince Jacques *twin* (b. 2014)
Princess Gabriella *twin* (b. 2014)
Gabriella was born 2 minutes before her brother, however because of the constitution her brother will inherit the throne. They are super sweet together and you see them at events often.
Princess Caroline of Hanover (b. 1957)
Caroline is the eldest child of Rainier and Grace Kelly, however because of the constitution her brother, Albert, sits on the throne of Monaco. She served as de facto first lady of Monaco until the marriage of Albert and Charlene.
Until the birth of her niece and nephew she was heir presumptive to the throne, although she had only held that title since 2005 after the change of the constitution to include female heirs.
Caroline received her French baccalaureat in 1974, and received a degree in Philosophy from Sorbonne University. She is fluent in French, English, Spanish, German, and Italian. Her hobbies include horseback riding, swimming, and skiing.
Marriages:

• Marriage 1: Philippe Junot

Married Phillippe, a Parisian banker, in 1978. The couple divorced in 1980 with no children.

• Marriage 2: Stefano Casiraghi

Married Stefano in 1983, the sportsman heir to an Italian industrial fortune. The two had to marry in a civil ceremony rather than a religious ceremony because Caroline, a Catholic, was divorced. Caroline was 3 months pregnant at the time of their wedding.
They have three children:

1. Andrea Casiraghi (1984)

• Married to Tatiana Santo Domingo and has 3 children

1. Charlotte Casiraghi (1986)

• Married to French producer Dimitri Rassam and has two children

1. Pierre Casiraghi (b. 1987)

• Married to Beatrice Borromeo and has 2 children

Note: The Casiraghi’s are all very beautiful and very fashionable but I don’t want to go much into them here because they are so far down the line of succession. They’re fun to follow for their fashion if you have the time to check them out.

• Marriage 3: Prince Ernst August of Hanover

Married Ernst August, a Prince, in 1999. They have one daughter, Princess Alexandra.
Caroline is thus a Princess twice-over, through her family and through her husband. She and Ernst August have been separated since 2009 however are still legally married, thus she retains the title of Princess Caroline of Hanover.
Read about all of her weddings here
See her speaking in English around 12:00 here
Princess Stephanie (b. 1965)
Stephanie was in the vehicle with her mother when Grace died. She suffered a fracture of the neck.
She has studied classical dance and piano, and competed in gymnastics and horse riding. She interned at Christian Dior and debuted as a model in 1984. She has a swimwear and perfume line, and owns cafes and stores in both Monaco and Barcelona. She also has sold more than 2 million copies of her song, Ouragan, and sold 1.5M copies of her album Besoin. She recorded “In the Closet” with Michael Jackson, however is listed as “mystery girl” in the credits.
Marriages/Relationships:

• Marriage 1: Daniel Ducruet

Stephanie married her former body guard, Daniel Ducruet, in 1995. When Rainier learned of their relationship Daniel was not only still his employee, but had a pregnant girlfriend too. Stephanie gave birth to their two children “out of wedlock” because Rainier refused to grant permission for them to marry, however eventually relented. The two divorced a year later after Ducruet was photographed naked with a stripper.
Read more
They have two children:

1. Louis (b. 1992)

• Married Marie Chevallier in 2019

1. Pauline (b. 1994)

​

• Relationship 2: Jean Raymond Gottlieb

Stephanie and Jean never married, however have a child together. He was Rainier’s Head of Security. She did not identify him on the birth certificate and it was not confirmed that he was Camille’s father until she confirmed it herself on her Instagram.
More about Jean
​

• Marriage 3: Franco Knie

Stephanie met elephant trainer (yeah, you read that right) when she presented him with the award for “best animal tamer” at the Monaco Circus Festival in 1997. Franco, a decade older than Stephanie, was married with two children at the time. Franco left his family for Stephanie, moving her and her three children into his circus caravan in Zurich. Marrying in 2001, their relationship lasted 18 months until their divorce.
An interview with Stephanie in English in 1990
Why is he a Prince and not a King?
From vogue:
It goes back deep into the history of Monaco. Monaco has always been a tiny nation, and, for protection, allied itself with (or, at some points, was flat-out annexed by) big powerful countries, with big powerful rulers—aka kingdoms, or, a nation ruled by a king or queen. So Monaco’s rulers styled themselves as prince and princess. That, by definition, made the nation a principality, or one ruled by prince or princess.
Regardless, Albert actually plays a bigger role in the day to day operations of the country than most of his European peers. Legislative power is divided between the Prince who initiates the laws, and the National Council who votes on them. Executive power is retained by the Prince, and he has full judiciary powers.
Jewels
See their tiara collection
I think the Ocean Tiara, gifted to Charlene for her wedding, is particularly interesting. You either love it or you hate it.
The Grimaldi Curse
What do you think?

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUS YEARS ARCHIVE:
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What's up everybody. Hope everyone's doing well. Just a heads up, there will be no Rewind posts for the rest of this week. I won't be around on Wednesday or Friday this week so the next post after today will be next Monday. Hope everybody has a good Thanksgiving. Also, ham is better than turkey and I will die for that belief, fuck you, fight me if you disagree.

• The long-rumored split of AJPW has finally come to pass, as company president Mitsuharu Misawa resigned his position on on 5/28. All sides attempted to keep it quiet to ensure a smooth transition but when word leaked to the media a week or so later, an emergency board of directors meeting was called and 5 more members of the board (wrestlers Kenta Kobashi, Akira Taue, Mitsuo Momota, along with front office exec Yoshihiro Momota and AJPW managing director Kenichi Oyagi) all formally resigned as well. It confirmed that virtually the entire company has decided to leave Motoko Baba. It's strongly believed that will Misawa will be starting his own promotion, probably in September (ends up being August actually). Misawa had hoped to avoid a public promotional war with the wife of Giant Baba and had attempted to negotiate with her to use the AJPW name for his promotion to preserve the legacy and history of what Giant Baba built without it turning nasty. But Motoko Baba refused the proposal and refused to give up any financial control of the company (she owns 85% while Nippon TV owns the other 15%). Both Misawa and Motoko Baba are expected to hold separate press conferences this week to detail their future plans. According to sources, every single wrestler in the company with the exception of Toshiaki Kawada and Masa Fuchi have pledged loyalty to Misawa and pretty much the entire front office is going with him as well. Kawada will likely be named the new AJPW president this week. Kawada and Misawa have known each other since high school but haven't ever really fully gotten along, with Kawada feeling like Misawa was holding him down from being the top star in AJPW. With him in charge, it's expected he will become the top star and will attempt to form a working relationship with NJPW while also bringing in indie talent to fill out the now-empty roster to keep the company afloat.
  
• Misawa and Motoko Baba have never gotten along since Misawa took over as company president following Giant Baba's death. A lot of the problems stem from Baba wanting to maintain the status quo in a company that has been floundering, while Misawa wanted to make major changes, push younger wrestlers, and things like that, only to find himself often overruled. Dave notes a specific show last year when Misawa booked Budokan Hall and put Jun Akiyama vs. Takao Omori in the main event, which Baba was adamantly against, feeling a Budokan show shouldn't be headlined by wrestlers who weren't yet established main eventers. Misawa also wanted to modernize the contracts, with wrestlers having medical coverage if they're hurt, full pay while out injured, and things like that. Usually every year at the end of March, the wrestlers get raises but that didn't happen this year and as a result, nobody re-signed, so currently the entire AJPW roster of wrestlers are free-agents right now, which is why they're all able to up and leave with Misawa. As much as everyone loved Giant Baba, his wife has always been notoriously unpopular in Japanese wrestling circles and was nicknamed "Dragon Lady." Shortly after Giant Baba's death, she forced Jumbo Tsuruta out of the company after he had worked there for 27 years.
  
• Needless to say, there's some potential legal hurdles here. It's believed Misawa may have a non-compete clause in his previous contract that hasn't run out yet. There's also the possibility that Baba will file a lawsuit claiming that Misawa had started working to set up his new company while still employed as AJPW president. During the meeting where Misawa resigned, Baba didn't attend, instead sending her lawyer with a note saying that she wasn't going to be there. The key to this whole thing is Nippon TV, which has been broadcasting wrestling weekly since the Rikidozan days. Dave says this whole thing is really similar to the 1972 situation when Giant Baba left the old JWA promotion (Rikidozan's company) and started AJPW, and Nippon TV went with him. 7 months later, JWA was dead. Publicly, Nippon TV isn't saying anything but it's believed that they are likely going to side with Misawa also, so AJPW's days on television may be numbered. If for some reason that doesn't happen, the Fuji Network in Japan is interested, so Misawa's promotion will surely end up on TV one way or another. All in all, this is pretty devastating for AJPW.
  
• The situation with AJPW's foreign wrestlers is uncertain. They all ride on the same bus and were told to clean out all their stuff. They also checked to see if their hotels were booked for the upcoming July tour only to find out they haven't been booked yet (they usually are by now) so the foreign stars are said to be pretty concerned that they suddenly might not have jobs. Many of the foreign wrestlers are closer to Mrs. Baba since, well, she writes the checks and the money's never late. But they've all been told not to worry, although they haven't been given any details of what their futures hold. Steve Williams and Johnny Ace are the closest to her on a personal level. Stan Hansen, the highest paid foreign star in AJPW, is staying out of the situation. He's just about ready to retire anyway and has saved his money well, so he's just chillin' and waiting to see how this whole thing shakes out.
  
• Things are only slightly less chaotic in the United States. The WWF vs. USA Network trial began this week and the futures of both WWF's Raw and ECW as a whole probably depend on what happens. USA Senior VP David Brenner testified during the first 2 days and revealed that USA pays WWF $42,000 per episode for Raw. Last year during negotiations, USA had offered to increase the payment to $80,000 per episode in 2001, $85,000 in 2002 and $90,000 in 2003 as well as offering increases in payments for the other three weekly shows on USA but Vince McMahon turned them down. USA then increased the offer but McMahon again turned it down and began negotiating with Fox.
  
• More talk about the future of WCW also. The SFX talks to purchase WCW have seemingly gone nowhere so far but are still ongoing. Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan have been meeting with Fox about a deal. The idea being that Bischoff and Hogan would go to Fox to start a "new promotion," which would then do a big inter-promotional angle against WCW. Meanwhile, WCW is also still reaching out to ECW about possibly working together, but Heyman has once again refused because he wants no part of anything to do with WCW.
  
• Oh yeah, speaking of....ECW is pretty jolly well fucked up right now too. Heyman has also had discussions with Fox but they haven't gone anywhere. Even though WCW is suffering financial losses the likes of which have never been seen before in professional wrestling, ECW is actually the company in the most danger right now. They're in a major financial crunch and wrestlers are weeks behind on getting paid. Several sources are said to be willing to loan ECW money or to buy a stake in the company, including WWF, which has offered several times to bail Heyman out. But the loan would come with certain conditions that Heyman isn't willing to accept because they would basically give WWF too much control over his company. Furthermore, the situation with the WWF/USA lawsuit is precarious because it's entirely possible and likely that TNN will boot ECW off the network if/when they get WWF Raw, which would leave ECW sitting on a mountain of debt without a national TV deal. Heyman is hopeful that they can survive on syndicated TV, just as they did before they had TNN, but things have changed a lot since then. If TNN ends up getting Raw, ECW's best hope is that they will be picked up by USA but that's by no means a guarantee. Given the state of the company, Dave says they're going to need a major network deal and a much larger production budget from that network if they hope to survive or be competitive.
  
• WCW's Great American Bash is in the books and after a heavily-hyped build-up that something game-changing would happen, the big surprise ended up being the heel-turn of Goldberg. Dave says the show was a huge let-down. Endless run-ins, 3 big "stunt" spots which meant none of them stood out, predictable swerves, and the 3rd straight PPV with the same finish. Goldberg's heel turn got a lot of heat but Dave says it's way too soon in Goldberg's career, plus he just came back after being injured for 6 months and the fans have been dying to see him back. But Russo was determined to turn him heel immediately because "omg swerves are awesome!" so....here we are. Needless to say, Dave thinks this is just about the dumbest thing WCW could have done. It also re-solidifies Hogan and Nash as the top 2 babyfaces in the company, because this company just refuses to fucking learn. Coming out of the PPV, it seemed like the obvious direction for the next PPV would be Hogan vs. Jarrett for the title and Goldberg vs. Nash, but in their infinite wisdom, they went ahead and gave away both matches for free on Nitro the very next night, which, to be fair, it's not like anyone buys WCW PPVs anymore anyway so it probably doesn't really matter. To show just how far WCW has alienated its fans, both Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan were in matches on this PPV where their career was at stake if they lost. Two of the biggest names in history in potential retirement matches should be an instant sellout and monster buyrate but needless to say, they only drew 4,600 paid (in Baltimore, a city where both Flair and Hogan have been huge draws during their careers) and the buyrate is expected to be among the lowest ever. Dave says try to imagine a scenario in Mexico with El Santo and Perro Aguayo in retirement matches only selling 4,600 tickets to Arena Mexico, or Inoki and Riki Choshu putting up their careers and drawing 4,600 to the Tokyo Dome. It would be unthinkable, but welcome to WCW in 2000.
  
• Other notes from the show: the opening cruiserweight match ending got screwed up because the guy who plays Rection's dad came out 5 minutes early and since his run-in was part of the finish, they had to rush to it early. How does that even happen? Kanyon turned on DDP, making it 3 PPVs in a row that DDP lost because someone betrayed him. In the words of Raylan Givens, "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." I'm just saying, maybe we should start asking why all of DDP's friends keep turning on him. Hogan vs. Kidman was about what you expect: Hogan overcoming all the odds and beating Kidman like a jobber. Ric Flair's entire family got involved in his match with David Flair, including his daughter Ashley (Charlotte) attacking Russo. Vampiro beat Sting in an inferno match, with "Sting" (a stunt double) being set on fire and knocked off the top of the video screen and Dave hated this. And of course, finally, the Goldberg heel turn.
  
• WWF is planning to slowly enact a new rule banning all moves in which a wrestler might land on his head (aside from tombstones and DDTs). The details are still scarce but it would essentially ban all forms of piledrivers, brainbusters, and other back and overhead suplexes. It won't be an immediate change, and wrestlers who use those moves will be asked to move away from them and gradually change their moveset. The idea, of course, is to try to lower the injury risk of guys dealing with neck issues who are working 4 shows a week. Dave talks about major injuries that have happened, particularly the Masa Chono and Steve Austin neck injuries which both came from botched piledrivers and nearly ended the careers of both. No word on why exactly this was decided, but Dave talks about a crazy looking DDT from the top rope that Dean Malenko did to Scotty 2 Hotty at Backlash that scared a lot of people backstage. And of course, there's also the issue with Droz being paralyzed (although that was a freak accident) and things like that. Tazz had already been told to limit his suplexes and wasn't allowed to use some of his more dangerous ones. And Perry Saturn was told to change his brainbuster finisher so he's using an elbow from the top now as his finish.
  
• The New Jersey state assembly passed a bill to regulate "extreme wrestling." It's a bill clearly designed to shut down Jersey All Pro Wrestling and Combat Zone Wrestling, while not applying to other promotions that operate in the state, like WWF, WCW, or ECW. The bill still has to pass the state senate and the governor (who has come out in support of it) before it becomes law. There's a lot of direct quotes from the bill in here that tries to distinguish between WWF/WCW/ECW and promotions like JAPW and CZW and it's pretty bullshit. Most of the things that are listed as being banned in CZW and JAPW happen regularly in the main promotions too. Dave talks about Jeff Hardy doing dives off ladders in WWF, or New Jack jumping off balconies in ECW. Those would still be fine on those shows, but Jeff Hardy or New Jack went to an JAPW or CZW show and did the exact same thing, it would be banned. Any "extreme wrestling" promoter or wrestler that allows someone under 18 into a show would be subject to a $5,000 fine. Other wrestling promotions can run shows without a license but "extreme" promotions (only CZW and JAPW) have to not only get a license to operate, must notify the public safety director 20 days beforehand to get permission in writing, and a bunch of other shit. It's also subject to a bunch of taxes that the other companies aren't. And the biggest thing is that "extreme" shows must carry medical insurance on all the wrestlers and have 2 doctors and an ambulance on site at all times. For these small companies that only draw a couple hundred fans, that's an expense they can't afford. In short, the entire purpose of this bill is to run JAPW and CZW out of business, or at least out of the state, and it looks like it's likely going to become law.
  
• A&E aired a Biography special on Hulk Hogan and I can already tell this is going to be good. Dave's itching to point out the lies and inaccuracies. In an interesting note, after the show finished filming, they got a negative response from an early screening because they never acknowledged Hogan's role in the current downfall of WCW. So they tacked on a thing at the end mentioning that WCW had declined in popularity due to promoting wrestlers who were too old. Anyway, the rest of the documentary was basically Hogan and his friends and family telling a wonderful tale of fiction. Some of it is nitpicky stuff but others, like Vince McMahon's role in Hogan's success and the 80s boom of wrestling, was completely downplayed. He told a bunch of lies about his past steroid use, basically just that he dabbled in them when it was legal. Of course, none of that's true and Hogan's own testimony in Vince's 94 steroid trial contradicts it, but whatever. Overall, it doesn't sound too bad compared to the tall tales Hogan usually tells, but Dave always delights in nitpicking Hogan's conveniently selective memory.
  
• This week's ratings fun: on Raw, the Crash Holly vs. Gerald Brisco match did double the rating of Nitro's Nash/Goldberg main event, which was Goldberg's first match since turning heel the night before. As soon as Nitro ended, 40% of fans switched over to Raw, which is much higher than the usual number.
  
• NJPW experimented with selling tickets online for a show this week. It was a 17,000 seat arena but since this was an experiment, they only put 2,000 of the tickets online for sale and they sold out within an hour, so needless to say it was a success and they'll probably start doing that more often. Watching the business slowly begin implementing technology and taking advantage of the internet is one of the more interesting parts of doing these Rewinds to me.
  
• There was a big news story in Japan due to a recent incident where RINGS president and former wrestler Akira Maeda attacked Pancrase president Masami Ozaki at a hotel. Ozaki ended up pressing charges against Maeda for the attack. From reports, apparently Maeda lost his temper for some reason and punched Ozaki and threw him into a table. Around the same time, a newspaper article ran with Maeda talking about having a friend in the Yakuza, which seems like a pretty thinly-veiled threat.
  
• A newspaper in Sydney Australia reported that promoter Andrew McManus would be running some shows, including a major show headlined by Dennis Rodman vs. Brutus Beefcake at a 19,000 seat arena. The largest crowd for wrestling in Australian history is around 12,000 for an Andre the Giant match several years back. Word is Rodman will work several shows and will be making 7-figures. Dave is skeptical of this to say the least (turns out it was sort of true. Rodman did end up wrestling one show, headlining against Curt Hennig but I'm sure we'll hear more about it when the time comes).
  
• The FX Network is airing a toughman contest featuring wrestlers against football players. Most of the wrestlers are no named indie guys. The biggest names are XPW's Damien Steele and Mustafa from the Gangstas. The Fox Family channel is currently casting roles for a show called Los Luchadores about a group of Mexican wrestlers (this was a kid's show, only lasted 1 season).
  
• Memphis Championship Wrestling has been taping shows at the nearby Sam's Town casino but because no kids are allowed in the casino, the shows have been basically empty so they're moving them back to an all-ages venue in Memphis. Several of Shawn Michaels' students are expected to start working there soon.
  
• Sable is on the cover of the new Muscle & Fitness. In the article, it described her as "the most popular female athlete in wrestling history" and Dave supposes you could make a case for it. The story also said she can bench 225 and squat 405, to which Dave says he hasn't laughed that hard in weeks.
  
• Dave notes 2 promotions that are apparently starting. One is called Urban Wrestling Federation and is gonna be based on hip-hop and target Spanish audiences and they're bringing in Koko B Ware to build it around. On the other end of the spectrum is the Christian Wrestling Federation, which is wrestling without the vulgarity and sexual stuff and at the end of the show, all the wrestlers return to the ring for a big group prayer. I'm absolutely baffled that neither of these clearly brilliant ideas are still around today.
  
• ECW's Heat Wave PPV will take place in Los Angeles which is the first time the company will attempt a west coast show. Dave thinks it might be interesting since that's XPW territory (boy, I'll say....)
  
• Regarding the incident mentioned last week with Sandman being drunk at a show in Florida and making a scene in the ring, word is it got heated backstage afterward. First, Tommy Dreamer and Sandman got into it physically but were quickly broken up. Then shortly after, Jack Victory and Sandman got into a fight that left Sandman bleeding from a cut above the eye.
  
• Notes from WCW Nitro: we're starting out at peak stupid this week. Commentator Scott Hudson did the entire show shirtless because on Nitro last week, Vince Russo got his shirt torn off and all 3 announcers made jokes about his physique. So Russo thought it would be great to order all 3 announcers do the entire broadcast without shirts to get him over as a heel. Mark Madden and Schiavone apparently refused but Hudson went along with it. They showed Vampiro talking to a mystery man in a robe in a smoke-filled room, who is expected to be revealed as Christopher Daniels. They wanted to name him God or Lord but the Turner standards and practices people shot that down and he still has no name (this ends up going nowhere but yes, it was indeed going to be Daniels before it got forgotten). They also had an idea for Vampiro to set the dressing room on fire and Asya would get burned, to set up a feud with Vampiro vs. KISS Demon (who is Asya's real life fiance). Also, the Millionaire's Club group has been rendered pretty much dead because most of the guys are out. DDP and Flair are on the shelf with injuries. Sting is out ("another vacation, what a great job he has," Dave says) and Luger is, of course, gone after walking out last week over creative differences. They had a bit where Kevin Nash's fake 8-year-old nephew Hunter (3 guesses why they picked that name) gets left with Scott Steiner to babysit and Steiner just leaves him with one of his half-naked women. They did an angle with Vince Russo shaving Ric Flair's head and Dave admits it was a really great angle and really well done (including another run-in by daughter Ashley, aka future Charlotte). But much like everything else in WCW, they left money on the table. This is Ric Flair's trademark hair that he's had for 30 years. They could have turned it into a huge deal on PPV or built up to it or something. Instead, just shaved his head with no notice on free TV. It was a great angle, but it puts all the heat on Russo and the end game is still Flair vs. Russo, which isn't exactly going to sell out arenas. Dave suspects Flair went along with it because he's trying to help David Flair get over but the kid just isn't any good and he's being pushed way beyond his capabilities.
  
• Goldberg was quoted in an AP news story criticizing the direction of WCW. "We are farther away form the kids and closer to pornography. It bothers me. Absolutely. We have a show that has a girl in a bikini in every single segment. I'm not in favor of that. I voice my opinion on everything I have a problem with. We can't shut our eyes on the kids who watch. There is a time and a place for segments where kids can watch with their parents, and we don't have it."
  
• WCW head Brad Siegel called both Bischoff and Russo in for a meeting regarding the 6/7 Nitro rating because everyone was hyping that show up and it was expected to do a bigger rating than it did, but it pretty much flopped and Siegel wanted answers. This Russo/Bischoff team isn't exactly doing great things for WCW, you see.
  
• Christopher Daniels made his WCW in-ring debut at a World Wide taping, losing to Chris Candido in a decent match.
  

WATCH: Christopher Daniels vs. Chris Candido - WCW WorldWide (2000)

• Regarding the incident a couple of weeks ago when a horse almost kicked Terry Funk during a hardcore match, turns out the horse had been traquilized beforehand (Dave believes it had been given PCP) and had also been harnessed. But it still lashed out and kicked Funk when he got too close. Dave points out how we could have seen a tragedy on live TV if the horse had kicked Funk in the head (let's be honest though: getting kicked to death by a horse in a hardcore match would be the most Terry Funk way to die. If you told me that happened, my first response would be, "Yeah that sounds about right.")
  
• Random WCW notes: WCW is once again considering bringing Dennis Rodman back in for some matches, in hopes of getting some publicity out of it. Elix Skipper was in a serious car accident and will be out for a few weeks. Lance Storm's debut has been delayed due to visa issues.
  
• WWF has hired a guy named Stuart Snyder to be the President and COO of WWF. That position used to belong to Linda McMahon but she has been given the new title of CEO while Vince remains Chairman of the Board. Snyder used to work for USA Network and will be helping lighten the workload on Linda. He'll handle more of the day-to-day stuff while Linda will focus on Wall Street and stockholder business. He will report directly to Vince and Linda (not sure how long he was with WWF, but he later became the head of Cartoon Network I believe).
  
• Judgement Day is looking to be around a 1.05 buyrate which will be the lowest WWF buyrate this year (but still, like, 10x the numbers WCW is doing on PPV).
  
• Triple H fought Chris Jericho in probably the best Raw match of the year and Dave actually says that Triple H put on a master class in how to get yourself over, get your opponent over, protect the integrity of the title, and entertain fans all at once. Dave says with a match this good, it's an easy thumbs up for the entire show, even if everything else sucks. Luckily it didn't because Benoit vs. Matt Hardy was really good too. But Dave really heaps the praise on Triple H for this one (yeah, 2000-era Triple H was absolutely on fire before injuries slowed him down and paranoia led to him burying everyone).
  
• Jim Ross sent all the wrestlers a memo saying they can't do anymore media appearances or interviews without office approval. Vince McMahon apparently feels that doing interviews with other media outlets is basically competition for their own website and they want to be in control of when WWF wrestlers talk to the media and what is said publicly.
  
• Random WWF notes: Chyna is doing a fitness video that will be released soon. Billy Gunn is expected back from injury in September. Shawn Michaels may still be used sporadically, but there are no real plans to bring him back for any weekly role.
  
• NCAA heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar signed a WWF developmental deal this week and will start in OVW this summer. Lesnar will be the 3rd NCAA wrestling champion under contract, with the other 2 being Kurt Angle and Sylvester Terkey. Dave talks about the history of NCAA champs in pro wrestling and starts listing names like Verne Gagne, Dick Hutton, etc. He doesn't know about Lesnar or Terkey, but he predicts Angle is going to end up being a top star in this business sooner rather than later (2 out of 3 did okay for themselves. The other guy probably would have done better if his name was Sylvester Ham though).
  
• Giants Stadium in New York and Soldier Field in Chicago have officially been named as 2 of the home fields for upcoming XFL teams.
  
• Curt Hennig's WCW contract expires soon and it's thought that WWF isn't interested. At 42 years old, and after years of being a big star, there's doubt that he would even want to come in and accept a lower card role. They have no plans of pushing him as a focal point of the company and think he might not be easy to work with if they want to use him to put over others. There's also the question of whether WWF would accept Lex Luger back if his current WCW issues lead to him being fired. Henning is still a good worker and while he left WWF on bad terms, they weren't unfixable. Luger, of course, left on the worst terms possible, literally walking out of a WWF house show on Sunday and showing up on WCW Nitro 24 hours later. So it's more likely that Hennig will end up in WWF than Luger, but Dave doesn't seem to think either guy has much of a shot (Hennig returns at the 2002 Rumble. Luger, to this day, hasn't stepped foot back in WWF or even gotten a HOF induction, although he has done a couple of DVD interviews and things like that).
  

NEXT MONDAY: more on AJPW/NOAH split, WWF/USA trial continues, Vince Russo "quits" WCW again, and more...

It was a dark night, no moon. We’d seen a bit on the road today. A returning trip to Brisbane from Sydney on the inland highway. Less traffic and less speed cameras means two gents can move north in less time? Not really. Here’s why.
It was getting dark. At Tenterfield we turned right.
“Casino 159km” a sign by the road informs. That’s 100 miles on the Grandad Scale. Shouldn’t take much longer than 2 hours, with the hairpin turns, maybe three. We sped off into the night, through the farmland and onwards to Coolangatta for a stopover at Mum’s.
Our progress slowed not far out of town. The moonless night, the wet and lonely road, and the number of hairpin turns slowed us to a walking pace. Carefully, I followed the black road. No white lines. No streetlights. No white posts with red circles to guide my way through the remote bushland. Sandstone cliffs. Fallen trees. The wiper blades dancing helplessly against heavy rain. 159km of hairpin turns on a dark and stormy night.
“Years ago on a late night shoot somewhere in Victoria, it was frickin’ cold”
‘I suppose it would have been’ I think to myself
“Four AM, must have been minus two. The director sent me up inside this abandoned, rundown, dilapidated Sanatorium” he looks over at me. A master craftsman in the use of unusual words
“Yeah, this old hospital”, I slow the car for tight turn number 229, rain thumping the roof of the like a madman.
“There’s an old matron who still patrols the corridors.” Phil continues “she’s still running the place 100 years later”
The dark night throws yet another hairpin turn at me, visibility down to just a few metres. I guide the car into the valley.
“My job was to keep this wispy white curtain blowing through the window. Jo kept the lights on it in the dark and the other bloke kept the camera focused. All trying to get this one shot”
My concentration divided between the story and the dark road
“I went up, set up the curtain and the fan, one great big fuck off fan to blow the curtain on a still night. The curtain rod fell and up into the building I went. Again. This time I tied it on with some old wire. Falls again, up I go again. The fan falls over this time, up I go once more. This time I stayed up there. Curtain doesn’t flow right in the wind from the fan so I lean out the window to hear what the boys are saying downstairs. And maybe this is just autosuggestion. Maybe it’s the ghost story. I get pushed or overbalance. Down I go, my fingers gripping the window sill. The curtain rod falls on me. Bang. I feel myself being pushed again”
My concentration high. I’m alert now “...And?”
“And so in the end we get the shot, no more than three seconds on film”
“For that much trouble?”
“Film’s like that”
I bring the car around another hairpin turn. My nodding dogmoves and I reach into the dashboard to catch it. I also change the clock, forwards two hours. The Camry let’s me do that easily.
An hour into this leg of our journey. Three by the Camry clock. We cross a rickety old timber bridge, the planks sing and dance as we skip across. The nails flicker, polished by years of wear.
“The show was called Haunted Australia, or something along those lines. Heaps of creepy places at creepy times of the night”
“Anything else happen?”
“They took us to some old stone police station in East Sydney at some stage. Lovely spot on the harbour. Into the lower ground with a couple of Mediums or Ghost Hunters or something like that”
“And?” I enquire again
“They tell me that’s the spot where they used to flog the convicts” he turns to me, his face illuminated by the headlights reflecting off the rain “She, the ghostbuster lady, told us of the convict flogged on that spot, a piece of his soul left behind by the trauma. Blood soaks his clothes, his feet in irons, his wrists bound by rope in a frame that he now hangs from” Phil pauses “they left him there. Lifeless. Flies in the summer heat.”
After a few minutes of silence Phil remarks at the lack of other cars. “Hadn’t seen another living soul since Tenterfield.”
Silence
“Your turn” Phil encourages
I slow for another bend.
“This road reminds me of a doco I once saw on Betty and Barney Hill” Phil’s silent response indicates an explanation is required “these two were driving late at night on a lonely road back from Canada. Years ago. Into that New England area of The US. They take a long and lonely road from somewhere to somewhere else” the car slows for another turn. The rain a little easier now. “Betty spots a star that isn’t sitting still in the sky” I pause “Barney sees it too. Above and a little forward of their car” No farmhouse lights are visible “Betty thinks it’s a shooting star, Barney thinks it’s a plane making it’s way to New York” we might be in a National Park or surrounded by a cattle station. “I did fill the jerrycan, right?” Changing the subject. Phil’s attention on me and not so much on the road now. “Try to spot a shed somewhere to keep the rain out of the tank”
“The sky is clearing” pointing upwards “No moon, not even a house in the distance yet. Just darkness and one lonely star in the sky”
“Star light star bright..” Phil begins “And gone again” he looks back at me, his face illuminated by the digital clock “and the star they saw?”
“It develops into a triangular shape. Barney thumps the peddle to the metal. They shake the triangle and duck up some country lane to hide between some trees and, in the middle of the road in front of them is the flying saucer, and a gang of little green men”
I pull the car to a stop “got that brolly?” Popped the boot and grabbed the jerry can. Phil holds the umbrella over me as I fill the tank, a sprinkling of rain drifts to the ground. Just enough illumination from the interior light to see what I’m doing.
“Just imagine it, they come down here, and fill the tank for us” I pause for a moment “with antimatter“ I smile, Phil looks around, one single star visible in the sky.
“Why would there be one star in the sky? If the clouds were clearing then you’d expect the space to be filled with star dust, right?” Philip analyses the situation
“It might be a small plane” and I turn back to the tank
“Remember that time we went up in John’s plane?” Phil, thinking through the Small Plane hypotheses
“Aha”
“The barometer dropped and we had to bring the plane down, it started raining like this after that”
“And?”
“That’s not a small plane, no small plane would be in the sky, at night, in the dark and in a low pressure system”
“Little green men?” I Joke. Phil’s face is void of emotion.
The car glides along the road and we feel a second timber bridge rattle beneath us
“What do you suppose happened to the star?”
“Behind clouds I suppose” I reply
“I’m not convinced it was a star”
“Min min lights?” I suggest
Phil looks at me blank faced “maybe the spot-the-pot chopper”
The thick bushland opens up to thinly treed paddocks. The lifeless road before us. The car remains silent.
Fewer corners and hairpin bends allow the car to move smoothly. Rain beating on the windscreen.
“I put the jerry in the boot, didn’t I?” I enquire “I don’t recall putting it away”
“I don’t really know” the confidence in Phil’s voice now gone “I don’t even remember getting back in the car” he pauses for a minute “how’s the tank?”
“Just under half” thinking to myself that I wouldn’t just leave the jerry can, I must have put it away, and put in its seatbelt to stop it spilling, even though its now empty “I don’t know about the can, i really don’t remember”
“Forget the can, just keep moving” Phil’s voice soft “Coolangatta tonight”
We pass a few more kays. It might have been half an hour when we passed through a small village, slowing for the change in speed limit. No street lights, no house lights, no dogs or other travellers of the night.
“I need to stop, bit squeamish” I slow the car, open the door and look back at Phil’s illuminated by the interior light, his nose bleeding “you right there?”
“Yeah, why?” He pulls the sunshade down and looks into a little mirror, a thin line of blood beneath his nose, his beard filling with red “oh Jesus”. He opens the door, a small pizza appears on the road beneath him. Peas, carrots and yucky stuff added to his already red beard.
Out of the car, I hand a bottle of water to a big man, seated and curled in the foetal position before me. A mess on the black road between us.
“Are you right?” I enquire. And clearly he isn’t. “Water” I hand him the bottle
“It just hit me. One minute I’m fine next” he pauses “this” a moment longer and he adds “how far to Lismore?”
“I don’t know, and you’re right. Maybe we’ll stop in Lismore and get you into the casualty ward.” I pause. Maybe it’s not that bad, just a little nausea. A bleeding nose can be cause by dry weather, aspirin, a dozen causes “let’s see how you go until we get to Lismore”
Phil accelerates. He’s trying to change lanes. Other cars don’t make space for the impatient driver. He curses the other drivers with bad language. The first rays of the morning sun make give the sky fresh blue hue.
“Good morning, Sir”
“How long was I out for?” Curious as i must have been asleep since we swapped drivers when I filled up from the gerry can
“Dunno. But isn’t it nice to see the sunrise?” Phil adds animation, years of living amongst Melbourne’s Italian community “haven’t seen one in years”
I count my fingers, and count them again. The clock in the Camry reads 7:32. We left Tenterfield at 8 or so. No way is that road 11 hours, even with my two hour fiddle clock trick “Did you stop a while?”
“Nah” I can see he’s noticed the same thing. “Bruxner Hwy really does add a few hours”

It was raining lightly. I slinked along the Yarra Promenade, heading away from the crown casino amidst the somber Melbourne crowds. I spotted Kenny standing on the Evan Walker bridge, looking down into the water, staring at patterns of concentric circles of raindrops hitting water— cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
He was in off duty clothing. Brown fleece collar jacket, characteristic sunglasses and exposed balding head with tufts of stringy black hair. I’ve been spying on Officer Lothar for over a month. Ever since the yellow envelope turned up on my desk, addressed, ‘Urgent. For the eyes of -P. Dronefire’—inserted, a photograph of our mate Kenny, and a stack of hundred dollar notes. That’s me, Pharlap Dronefire’, (I work as a private investigator, from my inexpensive offices in South Yarra.)
Kenny’s been staying in a hotel in Southbank since Monday. I watched with binoculars— and waited till he left this afternoon, then followed behind him on the busy bridge crowds, crossing the river as the last glimmering rays of the sun fell behind the skyline of skyscrapers, domes and architraves on the Hexton North bank.
They say there are no corrupt cops anymore, well it’s true the old boys clubs were all taken down by the commissions in the 90’s and 00’s. They aren’t hiding in plain sight perhaps, but the smart ones just evolved, Kenny Lothar is one of the most cunning corrupt cops I’ve ever reviewed. A real bastard. If my hunch is right, Lothar dropped business mogul Art Herraway off the very same bridge I now watched him standing on, chopped up body parts in a green garbage bag —submerged now beneath ice cold, turpid Victorian water. That was three years ago today, it’s no wonder Kenny was staring down so melancholically into the green water of the Yarra river. He’s got a lot to think about.
We cross through the Flinders Street Station tunnel, and I follow at a safe distance in the busy commuter crowds. I almost lose sight of him as the green and yellow tram pulls past, ringing it’s gentle chime— but I just catch his frame as Kenny ducks into a small Vietnamese restaurant on the other side of the street. Shortly, I sneak in and take a seat at a small table behind a patterned screen, where I can see him but he can’t see me.
I order a raw beef Pho, taking a moment to absorb my surroundings and re examine Kenny’s case files in my mind. Something happened whilst Lothar was on the beat in Sydney, I’m sure he was involved with a murder that happened on Mcellhorne stairs in Kings Cross. Then he gets some contacts in the Victorian Police and transfers to Melbourne, but whatever he was up to in Sydney— he’s continuing it down here—I’m sure of that. There’s an underworld of clues, from the Walsh street massacre, to the gangland killings of the nineties. Unsolved murders and connections that create a puzzle leading straight to Kenny. Twenty two orange gold fish swish their tails longingly in a nearby fish tank next to a wooden statue of Bhudda. Fumes and aromas float over the counter adorned with green dragon carvings and a row of ceramic maneki-neko cats waving their arms in unison, below— Kenny’s balding head wrinkles with tension as he waits for his food.
I won’t pretend he doesn’t scare me. If it were just for Kenny’s underbelly credentials, and links to the Melbourne mafia— that would be enough to make me think twice about taking the case. But there’s more to Kenny Lothar than just power and murder. He is into some strange things— the occult. Pacts, rituals, self flaggelation. The case is so out of my usual line of work, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I am doing taking it up.
I was slurping cautiously at my pho for two or three minutes before I got the break I needed. Kenny stands up to use the bathroom, leaving his wallet on the table. I know I’ve only got a slim chance to get it right, standing up as if I’m also going to relieve myself, then the subtle yawn, and sleight of hand. Before anyone notices I’m back out on the street, not having paid for my Pho, running —and holding the keycard for Kenny’s hotel room in my pocketed hand.
The rain increases. You get some weird cases as a Private Investigator. Most are straightforward; spying on cheating partners, divorce cases, over protective parents. Then there’s the ten percent, the odd cases from secretive private contractors, where you only learn bits and pieces about your client, what they want to find out and why. No doubt a lot of it is criminal linked, even though I do my best to filter out those types of clientele. Some of them are just perverts, mad eccentrics. This particular client was extremely secretive. Dealt only in cash, and written correspondence. I’d have hesitated entirely from being involved, but it’s good pay— and I’d do just about anything to help nail that prick Lothar.
As I’m walking back over the bridge towards Kenny’s hotel I start thinking about the objectives. The guy wanted pictures of Kenny’s hotel room— he was very specific about that. Seems very hung up on Kenny’s private activities. Wanted detailed notes and photographs on any occult rituals he was conducting. I mean—What the fuck, right? Ever get the feeling you’re getting caught up in the dangerous weekend games of eccentric rich people?
I pulled my collar up, ducking out of the rain inconspicuously into the Travelodge lobby. Trying to appear casual and sure of myself as I walked past reception and entered the elevator.
Kenny’s apartment was on the tenth floor, apartment 1001. Fortunately there was no one else in the lift, and I guiltlessly approached Kenny’s door once in the top floor. He had the ‘No servicing- do not disturb’ card over the door handle. The keycard tripped the beeping lock, and the door opened. There was a strange musty smell that hit me the instant I opened the door to his room.
Then the vision hit my eyes, he had been busy! Kenny’s hotel room was messy. It was a fairly big room, one huge decorative pillar marking the left wall, and drawn velvet curtains adorning broad, thick windows overlooking the city. There was a hexagonal table beneath the window covered in papers, and an adjacent chair on top of a zebra patterned rug which seemed to be concealing something staining the floorboards. The floor of the adjacent room was covered in curious objects that required detailed analysis. I resolved to first examine the table and the rug. Moving aside the chair, I quickly flipped up the zebra rug, and gasped as I observed the curious design beneath.
I took three photographs of the symbol with my phone, before continuing my analysis. It was a huge symbol, inked on the floorboards. The pattern was a kind of triangle with three six-shaped arms attached to all the vertices. My first thought was that the red stain was painted with blood, but as I touched the wet surface I concluded that it was more likely some thick kind of ink, pigment or paint. Certainly the symbol had been created for ritual occult purposes, thus far unknown.
I carefully placed the rug exactly where it was, so everything would be found exactly where Kenny had left it.
From my current vantage point I could see that there were two more symbols painted red on the walls in the first room; a circle with a serpentine line running through it on the left wall, and a symmetrical triad of lines on the right wall. I took some more photos of the symbols, and the layout of the first room with my phone.
I sat down at the table now, quickly examining the note books, covered in scrawled handwriting, books and reference material scattering the surface. It was immediately clear to me, that all of the written material was directly related to the ritual which Kenny had been enacting in the adjacent room— so I figured I’d better get a look at that room before any of the written material would make a lick of sense.
I walked cautiously towards the doorway marking the dark room beyond. I tried the light switch, but it appeared that Kenny had tampered with the power circuit. I turned the flash feature on, and snapped a few more pics of the dark room.
A friend of mine was a cop, who investigated the Hotel room of Vegas Shooter Stephen Paddock, the guy who turned his hotel room into a fortress of guns, before killing 58 and injuring 515 people at a country music concert. My friend had told me going inside that room had filled him with such a sickness and revulsion at being in the lair of such a demented mastermind he’d had to take psychological leave for a month. I was starting to feel the same sickness exploring Kenny’s hotel room.
The most obvious aspect of the layout of the darkened room was the kind of checkerboard Kenny had painted in the middle of the room. The entrance to the room was marked in each corner by two pillars, with square plinths, and miniature stair cases leading down each side. Leaning against the ridged pillars were an ornate Axe, and on the other side was a heavy, Ancient gold shield emblazoned with a red scorpion.
Scattered all around the checkerboard were a vast array of objects which could at first be construed as random clutter, but only slowly developed a sense of order — that chilled me to the bones. Drawn on squares of the checkerboard I could make out an upside down crescent moon in the lower corner, and a thin, narrow isosceles triangle in the upper right corner. To my horror, I saw too, in the centre of the checkerboard was a yellow piece of parchment — upon which appeared to be resting ; a bleeding, severed human hand. I now realised with abhorrent terror that the red liquid pouring from the severed hand was the same texture of the symbols in the first room, they had indeed been inked in somebody’s blood. Victim currently unknown. The smell of death became suddenly more disconcerting.
At the back of the room, lining the entry to the bedroom there were two classic statues, of Ancient Greek appearance, depicting the forms of two voluptuous women. Immediately in front of me, at the foot of the doorway to the darkened room was a sigil— two circles joined together by a malignant double-U.
I was unable to process the other scattered objects at that time, so resolved to return to Kenny’s notes which would hopefully bring some clarity or closure as to the meaning of these horrific scenes.
Once more, I sat down at Kenny’s chair. I flicked through several lined note pads, until I found a diagrammatic illustration of some of the items in the other room. This did help provide context to at least some of the items in Kenny’s ritual. Nothing about the severed hand.
The illustrations were grotesque and horrific. The placement of items in the other room mimicked very closely the items in the illustration, but the labels didn’t provide much more than a superficial meaning to the display. The shield leaning against the left pillar, with the scorpion engraved on it was marked as ‘Soldier’s Shield from Motaris’, whilst the decorative axe leaning against the right pillar was labelled ‘The Axe of Sagron’. Scanning the other illustrations I saw that the W shaped sigil was revered as the ‘Sigil of the Star Diver’, whilst the two statues of naked women were labelled ‘The Godess of the Dawn’ and ‘The Sister of the Moon’ respectively. These sculptures were given particular significance—as an ethereal field between the feminine statues was labelled ‘The Gateway’.
Another marking got my attention, and I had to return to the darkened room to confirm its presence, because I hadn’t noticed it the first time. Sure enough, inlaid beside the checkered board there was a cornucopia wedged on a tripod from which fumes were emerging- grey streamers billoughing through the darkness. Based on the diagram I gathered that there was ritual incense burning in the cornucopia and that this was the origin of that strange smell I had noticed on first entering the apartment. Returning to the diagrams, I began to panic as I realised that the herbs burning in the cornucopia weren’t in fact incense as I had first deduced, but some form of hallucinogen— utilised to accelerate the heightened state required for completion of the ritual.
Instantly I started to feel light headed, wondering if the hallucinogen was already taking some effect upon me. I must have inhaled quite a large amount already, I covered my mouth with a handkerchief to create a temporary toxin mask.
Just then, my paranoia was exacerbated, as I heard a clanking noise at the front door. I shivered, my soul sinking. Had Kenny returned early and been granted a spare keycard from reception? I cowered beneath the door, my heart began to pound in my chest like a professional’s basketball. Once more the door latch quivered and shook as though somebody were jangling the latch on the other side. Finally a voice called out, it was a vibrato tone, female, with an Eastern European accent; ‘Mr Lothar? This is cleaning. Do you want the service? Clean sheets? Mr Lothar?’ I breathed a sigh of relief, and summoned the deepest voice I could; ‘No thank you. Busy thank you.’ The sound of trolley wheels slinking away indicated the woman had taken the hint.
I breathed heavily, trying to recuperate from the trauma. As I stumbled away from the door, suddenly I felt a terrible sensation within. I realised that the hallucinogens were indeed taking effect. My head throbbed, and my face grew red, filling with blood. Then my eyes began to mist up, and I felt my body growing weak— soon I fell to the carpet upon my knees.
My vision was drawn to the terrifying sight beyond the large glass window— framed by red, velvet curtains. Something had occurred outside. Something uncanny and horrific. The day had changed. The sun was gone. Nature had somehow leapt off its natural track of organic physics. That which we call daylight and night had lost dimensional form, and their aspect had merged with the vast indescribable void of the universe.
It is almost impossible to describe the hallucinations I saw outside that window, except to say that the Melbourne skyline was changing rapidly, in the nature of a time-lapse video. Architecture, once familiar became foreign and disorientating. It was as though I was watching the build up of human culture along the Yarra from a perspective outside of the usual constraints of time. I remembered from my history classes, that the aboriginal Wurundjeri tribes had called the Yarra river Birrarrung, meaning "Place of Mists and Shadows". Never did this description seem so apt, for what appeared to me now — a world only perceivable as a kind of fog of place. First, all of civilisation seemed to vanish, as indigenous tribes gathered beneath gum trees for their corroborees, then did I see white settlers, and British red coats come and conquer the land, then suddenly dark and futuristic sky scrapers leapt from the earth.
Now something happened that even further defied explanation. My body seemed to grow numb and limp, and collapsed upon the floor. The truly strange aspect however, was that I watched this happen, seemingly from outside my own body. I found myself now, somehow as a ghost inhabiting the space apparently outside of my usual physical and mental constraints.
As I looked around the hotel room, everything within seemed ominously different, red hued and sinister. Particularly a curious demonic glow originated from the other room where the ritualistic items had been laid out upon the floor. There was an odd electric energy coming from within that room now.
Most of all, there was a plainly visible force field of energy growing, like a vortex, between the statues of the two Greek Godesses. This vortex now seemed to open up, like a gateway—- onto a world with a red sky. Beyond the gate was an immense marble staircase leading downwards into some unknown ethereal city.
I summoned up the courage to journey through the gates, knowing that I was surely hallucinating from the unknown drug, but prepared to ride it out. I stepped down the strange marble steps, coming into an unknown, slightly futuristic city. Perhaps it was Melbourne in the future, I couldn’t discern with any confidence. There did seem to be some grand palace or castle where the Crown Casino had been, and Kings Road was marked by a distinct vibrant road built of shiny red bricks.
There were no cars, or streetlights- but all around were immense skyscrapers and modernist buildings made of glass and steel. The river water of the Yarra had apparently dried up completely. I soon stood on the ground where once the Waterside Workers Hotel had been, there was now only a curious labyrinth of white, marble stair cases leading up and down in a confused jumble of intention. For a moment I sat on the step, flustered and bewildered by the strange situation and the concrete real ness of my imaginary world. I felt the presence of a kind of grid of familiarity— stretching out on the horizon. I felt strange allures pulling me and enticing me onwards. I feared these forces, and yet could not deny them. There was an odd heat and humidity. Something was compelling me to descend further down upon the staircases, heading underground into the catacombs beneath this strange city. The further down I went, the more intense the heat became, until finally there appeared an open platform which looked out into a vast abyss of plateaued rock and raging flame.
Amidst the hades-like landscape in the lower caverns, my hallucinations now took full and plain form. Amidst the acreage of darkness and flame a titanic figure now came forward. The giant’s skin was lush crimson, and his naked body was taught and muscular, his head barely resembling some insectoid creature of earth. But the enormous, many sphered and barbed tail which swung from his buttocks, and his claw-like hands identified him as a giant humanoid scorpion of some form. The scorpion demon, who was half engulfed in flames now bent in the darkness, almost crouching in the opposite direction to me. I soon discerned that he was engaging to speak with another small figure, perched on a plateau of rock far out on the other side of the chasm.
Something even more peculiar happened then; my body suddenly seemed to go utterly limp. At first falling in an almost fainting motion, my mind suddenly faded as though into a dream-like place. I was no longer a walking human, but a floating invisible mass, a watching eyeball floating over the caverns of fire. Soon, I drifted and became the voyeur overlooking the terrible scorpion being, and as I grew closer I soon was able to view with clarity the other being he was talking to on the rocky plateau.
It was Kenny Lothar.
I tried to analyse my dream logic, obviously it made sense that I would hallucinate about Kenny, he was at the forefront of my mind due to the case. But as I began to overhear the conversation of the unlikeliest acquaintances, I marvelled at my mind’s fantastic longing.
‘The ritual is underway’, the sinister balding figure in sunglasses had stated. The immense flaming scorpion being flexed it’s muscular neck, and clamped it’s jaw, leering like an avalanche over Kenny; ‘Do you know what forces come to roost under cover of the red skies of Val Galais?’ Asked the scorpion in a booming voice. ‘My role is not to question the will of the beings outside the dome..’ Kenny replied cunningly; ‘Mine is only to serve.’ The giant red scorpion flushed its face and furrowed its brow in gesticulation; ‘That is a good answer, puny mortal. But I know that your species is incapable of acts that aren’t driven by the most base desires of personal gratification. You follow commands because you wish some of the glory of the coming age to be bestowed upon yourself. Confess it!’ ‘If I am to be gifted any fortune by supporting the armies of the winning side, should there be any discomfort in it?’ Kenny retorted, ‘All that matters is the end goal. Victory for the beings outside the dome!’ The scorpion glowed with wicked pride; ‘Yes! It is true. For the watcher is at hand, and the sacrifices are being made, piece by piece. The vultures move into place, and the shapeshifter reigns in the land of the setting sun. The dead armies shall hold back the forces of Tennylind and a new dark age shall Dawn’... I watched with fascination as my hallucinations played themself out. With intrigue I followed Kenny’s monologue as he spoke about his dark motives. I knew they were not real, just the product of my delirious brain trying to draw loose ends together.
Nonetheless, in my imagination Kenny Lothar began to explain to the horrific scorpion demon his back story in this hideous plot. He spoke of the corrupt police forces in NSW, and how they had gone underground during the Royal Commissions of the 1990’s. He spoke of secret meeting places in Bishop’s Valley, Bathurst, Canberra and Ballarat. Organisations united in a common purpose, to protect the agenda of corrupt white men; the Freemasons, the Druids guild, The order of the Red Seal, The Knights of the Roman Grid, The Future guard. He spoke of gangland killings, and shuffled ranks in the Victorian Police. In my dream, Kenny was not acting alone; but conducting his nefarious rituals for wealthy underground cults.
I knew the dream was becoming too absurd now, and like my mind was rejecting outright the state of being, I felt my ethereal self begin to drift and return to Kenny’s hotel room where I lay unconscious.
Strangely, however, my awareness of that perpendicular plane of existence didn’t utterly fade. I watched with my mind’s eye, as Kenny slowly ascended a labyrinth of marble staircases, until at last it appeared as if I was watching —as Kenny exited the elevator of the hotel. He seemed to walk in a tangent universe just beside my own, walking alongside his hotel room. I was now floating above my own body, which lay unconscious on the hotel floor, as Kenny entered through the vortex of colour.
But something was magnificently wrong. Surely, I thought, I was still hallucinating. Yet, why did the room look so enchantingly similar and yet different? As I floated above as an ethereal mist, I noticed that all the ritualistic paraphernalia lay in the adjacent room exactly as it had —- with only one minor difference....
The decapitated hand was no longer placed ceremoniously on the parchment in the middle of the checkered floor. Nor were the strange three symbols painted in blood in various locations in the room where my body lay unconscious. With infinite terror, my mind started to leap to horrorible conclusions. Kenny was rubbing his skin, as if coated in a thin layer of goo. He appeared to be adjusting to his transition back into this reality. How absurd this dream was becoming, I thought to myself.
With malice, Kenny now begun to pace around the dark room, as if checking the artefacts for his ritual. He then raced to his desk, checking over his notes, and reading furiously. I tried to move my body, or wake from slumber, but I remained trapped in that elusive immaterial dream space.
I continued to watch paralysed. Kenny now turned in his chair with terrible and malevolent purpose. Returning quickly to the other room, he appeared to see something. I watched with horror now, as he came back into the main room holding the decorated Axe from the ritual. I began to curse under my breath with fear, as Kenny methodically approached my unconscious body. He had the most sadistic look of glee in his eyes, and malice on his lips, as he grinned with yellowing teeth.
With one sharp movement, Kenny raised the heavy axe above his head, then with a movement as swift as light, the heavy metal carved through the flesh and bone of my left hand. Although still detached from my body, I somehow still felt a piercing pain in my wrist, that ached like swollen agony, and throbbed with pain, yet I had no mouth to scream.
Satanically satisfied, Kenny squatted next to my decapitated hand, extending two fingers and dipping them into my freshly drawn blood. Time seemed to flash forward, or backwards as Kenny timelapsed around the room, creating the strange symbols on the walls and floor which I had investigated. Then returning the bloody Axe to the pillar it was resting against, and moving my gored and grotesque severed hand into place on the parchment on the middle of the checkered floor. Somehow this all made some terrible sense in my dreaming mind, that I had perhaps become a part of Kenny’s terrible ritual.
That was then. This all stands now, only as some sort of curious dream. The severing of my hand, I can speak about with certainty. For when I awoke in a hospital bed, my left arm was nothing more than a stump. Mercifully the doctors stopped the blood loss, and probably saved my life, though how I got from Kenny’s hotel room to there, I’ll never know.
It’s been a significant period of recovering, and for now, the investigation of Kenny Lothar is on hold. Right now I am too fearful for my well being to continue.
However, I feel this will not be the last time I have a run in with that dangerous and reprehensible character.
(This is the second story surrounding Private Investigator P.Dronefire. You can read the first story 'The Cockroaches Between the Clues' at 'The Weird Fiction of Goitye Powerhouse)
https://weirdfictionofgoityepowerhouse.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/the-cockroaches-between-the-clues/

[Transcribed from the dictaphone of Flynn VanDeBerg, during his investigation into a murder of a man who's body was dumped in the mangroves of a rural Australian Town]
Chapter four - ‘The gateway. 9 rifles.’
I'm thinking more and more about documents; hidden in the dark of the basement, down the stairs, behind the green door in the courtyard at the back of Archbishop Raymond Gubbel's house.
I'm convinced there's some piece of information there which holds the explanation of these awful going's on. Tommorrow I will break the lock, search for the answer, today I must lie here in my own bed; reflect, record...then sleep.
It's been two weeks since my last recorded journal. It's a Thursday. A great deal has happened in the last fortnight. I can only guess where to begin filling in my readers.
I don't know what it was that possessed me to concede to Pheobe, my prejudices against heroine had always been strong. She'd always been civil to me, and I couldn't be cold towards her when she invited me in, confiding in me that the others were out in Oper Bodie for the night. Maybe it was her melancholy loneliness that I understood, or the creepy weather, the eerie sounds and my aching thumb which persuaded me to accept a drink, then stay for a several others. Yeah maybe it was loneliness, or maybe it was something more ; unavoidable attraction, of flames, and moths and.... As I was gathering up the tarot Pheobe had innocently asked me if I was able to do a reading with the dummy cards. Of course I'd told her it was possible, obviously I was keen to try out the new deck in any capacity I could. The wine was flowing steadily again; dangerously. She'd asked me first, if I could do my own reading while she watched, so she knew what she was getting herself in for. I told her that it was considered a dangerous omen to read your own fortune, and that cultured practitioners avoided it; she'd then nervously taken the role of client.
'Shuffle the deck, and think over some predicament', I told her authoritatively. There was a heavy tension between us, not least since the subject of heroin had not yet been broached. We avoided eye contact as she contemplatively allowed the cards to slide around in her slender hands, half closing her eyes.
I had an uneasiness doing the reading which wasn't typical of my temperament. I'd never interfered with a layout before, but as soon as she placed down the first card, and I read with terror 'The pointer of the bone' something inside me had triggered, and I slammed my hand over hers. 'Wait!' I said hesitantly, 'I'm supposed to shuffle first.' As I quickly lifted and flicked the cards in casino style my brain was racing delicately, Why had I just felt the need to lie? That wasn't like me. Because of my research today? Because I didn't want to deal Pheobe a bad omen? The second time Pheobe dealt, I didn't interfere; even though once more, something about the arrangement of cards had me siphoning dread. The first card I laid out was the 'Milky Way' card, then Criss crossed on top of it, 'Judgement'. Why the repetition of these two cards again? What could it mean?
Pheobe stared at me now, sensing the anxiety in my eyes; 'What does it mean?' She stammered, echoing my thoughts, 'Is it bad?' 'No! Not at all.' I replied recovering, trying to create a more superficial answer than the one I sensed in my terror filled heart, 'It's a metaphysical question you are asking.' I didn't say the words that were truly on my tongue, the words I feared; 'It tells me your question is a broad one, about life, you're seeking ...an answer ...to something profoundly deep, or perhaps you are trying to grapple with the random processes of the universe.' She looked at me, cynical but yearning, as if she knew I was right, but pondered the vagueness of the answer, couldn't any question be considered in that vain? No, not all questions. I laid out four more cards, then flipped them over one by one; Star cross'd lovers, the unlucky bushman. The rainbow serpent, the corroboree.
I didn't like the thoughts coming into my mind. But it felt impossible not to play them out now. 'Well?' She asked impatiently. I rubbed my face with apprehensive tenseness; 'The lovers in the past tense, to some degree I feel your question is about yourself, about fate?' 'Don't teeter around' she snapped, 'Obviously it's a question about love. I don't need your interpretation to see that the cards at least are on the ball.' 'Right' I said, wishing I could somehow move backwards in time, instead of forwards to the inevitable pitfall ahead; 'The unlucky bushman rising ...is in direct relationship with your fears.' I said avoiding what I read there, 'But what does it mean?' she hissed. I sighed heavily; 'Uh...it could mean, that there is a male figure who has recently entered your life. A man...a man who is...' 'Is what?' 'Doomed... Perhaps... Doomed...To some unpredictable fate.' Pheobe went silent. I read on, afraid to dwell for too long.
'The rainbow serpent and the corroboree in the future tense...' I said thoughtfully, (as this part at least hadn't clarified completely in my mind); 'There's a meeting place. An event in the future. A perilous meeting...' Pheobe leapt in here, trying to interpret the cards herself; 'A meeting on serpentine road,' she said; 'The man of my affection is fated to a fateful meeting on Serpentine road?' 'No..' I stopped her, my heart pounding, not liking the insinuation; 'I don't think the cards would suggest anything so literal.' 'So what then?' 'I...uh...' I stammered, 'Let me look at the final cards to put it in perspective.' I flipped the final four cards in a vertical row. 'The Gateway', '9 Rifles', 'Fall of the outlaw', 'Ye olde hangman'.
Some incalculable misery ran through my blood as I digested the cards before me. First, the uncanny and unwholesome fear came; that in spite of my best efforts and protestation, I was in some sense reading my own fortune, and even more, that there wasn't just the slightest of a hint of the tragic about it. Pheobe just looked at me silently now, her eyes demanded an explanation of the cards dealt. 'To the immediate future, and the conclusion of your fortune,' I said gulping in the back of my throat. 'There is something...something...' 'What?' She said, 'Something bad isn't it?' 'I don't know. Cards can be ambiguous. But the meeting referred to seems to be fated to some foreseeable ill.' 'What do you see?' She persisted. 'I....uh...the gateway. The gateway implies the opening up of some new...' 'Barry's Gateway! That's a place. It's a plateau up in Oper Bodie!' Pheobe yelled, 'Something about Barry's gateway.' 'No. I think you're being too literal. 9 rifles is a force of negativity, something surmounting against you ...or ...the male figure. There is a definite descent, an end to the narrative. A tragic decline to the romance, something....' 'What's the hangman mean?' She asked, 'what's the fall of the outlaw?.' I went quiet, feeling green, I backed away from the cards. Pheobe had sensed it in me.
I hadn't resisted at all, happy to take on any escape. She dove towards me and our lips met, the wine was heavy on both our lips, but the heat was irresistible, I felt my eyes close. Before I knew it she had pulled off her loose fitting top, and my hands were running over her soft flesh.
What impulse had so overpowered me? I wasn't a creature of such simple persuasion. In the frolicking of our passionate embrace, moving to Pheobe's bedroom; anything had seemed plausible, and with a sense of foreboding on the horizon I so desperately wanted to escape into the present. My pants had been around my ankles as she had thus straddled me. For a long time we warmly melded, thrusting toward nothing but a chemical bliss.
When she'd sidled off for a moment I had appreciate the tease, continuing to stroke my hard cock. I hadn't even registered negative emotion as I watched her tie the strap around her arm, and push the syringe over the bubbling spoon. The intoxication was all over me, I'd only asked ; 'Why do you need it?' To which she had seductively whispered; 'Try it. Try it.' And somehow all will power and resistance within me had absconded. I tied the black leather strap on myself, pulling until it was taught and my arm throbbed with lack of blood flow, the pain in my blackened thumb increased and I welcomed the sharp piercing dullness of the needle which heralded a christ-like relief from burden. The instant the chemicals hit my bloodstream I felt the warm thrill of incalculable ecstasy which I had avoided my entire life. The screaming apathy of utter release from the pain of life.
I don't recall at what stage in our love-making the hallucinations begun. It all sits fresh in my memory like a dream I've just awoken from. I remember kissing her neck, when I'd noticed something unusual about the birthmark below her collar bone. It pulsed. I'd calmly watched it grow, the laceration glowing like pink neon, as the lips of the wound, pursed and opened up like a budding rose petal. Emitting light. I vaguely remember looking inside that gaping pink hole, and inside the periscope of pink ribbon: viewing objectively a thousand sexual fantasies, bodies writhing over each other in a glorious bright-pink mardigras of lust and life. Cocks sliding in and out of cunts like pistons. Platforms of tits. I must have lost time.
It could've been hours later for all I know, as I recall coming to a relative degree of consciousness, slumped against the grimy bedroom wall. The walls were textured like leaves. Wet leaves. Pheobe was not in sight, but I was hallucinating twice as much now. I remember feeling like my body was submerged in water. That the room was filled with ecstasy, like a bath tub, but through some unseen sinkhole --joy was slowly draining.
Something had alerted me to the sensation in my penis, and I had looked down, initially seeing Pheobe's dainty hand rubbing furiously up and down. But then I'd looked, surprised by the change; and what I saw when I looked down first succeeded the paranoid half of the trip. Instead of a dick, all I could see when I looked beneath was a wet, muddy mangrove stalk, pulsating wildly and dribbling at the end. The floor was all mud now. That was all I could see from wall to wall, my mangrove stalk throbbed and gibbered. The mud bubbled and spluttered.
I sat there, like a tree submerged in the water for I don't know how long. I knew that all joy had fled, but still there was something darker that permeated everything. I remember my black hand, behind like tree roots that wound down into the earth. Thumb was like the night sky. The pain was mere being. There was a laptop on the dressing table. I stared at it for half an hour at least. The light of the screen, wavy digital lines warped by my viewpoint. There was a meaning I couldn't grasp. The plant thing stumbled back into the room now. Wet branches for legs, it rustled with leaves, slinking like a dragging branch. The plant lady straddled me, rubbing itself over my trunk. I don't remember how I got home. I know that I lay in bed for hours before the trip subsided. I know that the peak terror came traversing the dark path from Pheobe's house to mine. I still can't think over it clearly as I lay here in bed. Was any of it real?
Pheobe and I have continued casual encounters. I may be mildly addicted to heroin. I've spent a great deal of time with Norah and David, we are becoming good friends, though the whole group's foundations appear to be built upon quicksand, in some ways we are all tip-toeing around glass, aware of some inevitable looming catastrophe in our self funded addictions. I believe David and Pheobe may have had previous sexual relations. There is a tension there, although I sense that their passion was extinguished some time ago. We've had some intense and deep conversations as a group ; about the meaning of life, the nature of reality, love, existentialism and death. I see something in David that I failed to recognise in myself previously, now I can't help but sense it constantly. He is looking for something, the same thing I've always been seeking myself, some grand join the dots; a map of information to collate the puzzle pieces of history, philosophy, science, psychology, art, knowledge, the world and the self ; somehow unite it all under a colossal shadow. To recognise a faceless demon of truth who haunts the living with its indescribable yet terrible form. Something... something...
More abrasive run-ins with the locals. There is a constant threatening air amidst their kin; only mildly masked by passive aggressive mockery. David and Pheobe have given me deeper information about the local fraternities but that puzzle may have to wait till later. Pheobe told me the truth about how she got her 'birthmark'; I don't know if I'm ready to share that information yet either.
My agent called me last Wednesday. That was an odd conversation. I only met Jaycen Briars once, but he seemed like a nice gentleman. Jaycen was the artist who was supposed to be working on the tarot project. It would have been, if successful, referred to as the Briars/VanDeBerg deck I suppose. I can't pretend I wasn't shocked when Vicki told me that Briars had shot himself in his home; and wouldn't be working on the project anymore, I didn't know the man well enough to be devastated, but it certainly had an effect on me. Jaycen and I had brief conversations online via snap chat. I'll probably miss his funeral, which is a shame. It's a tragic waste of a rare talent. I hope there is nothing correct in my suspicious nature which wants to see something more in this tragic event than a horrid, but accidental, waste of life.
It seemed to pass very quickly and conveniently that Davo would subsume the role of artist. Actually it had partially been my idea. The agent thoroughly embraced it. David has also jumped at the opportunity. He was already painting large images of the tarot cards on the walls of the old hospital-- last I left him --on Monday. His picture of 'The unlucky bushman' is quite haunting, taking all the qualities of the rider Waite 'fool' card and adding some unique Australian menace, he perfectly captured the crackled bushland, in that arid cruelty, something akin to Sydney Nolan's outback and drought series. Weeks in the library have gotten me no closer to revelation. Chelsea has curiously not been working, her replacement is a sullen old man who never says a word, and watches me with his squinty eyes; through cloudy spectacles. I dare say I have grown extremely paranoid.
I never leave the house without taking Gubbel's shotgun from the wall above the fireplace. I've taken to hiding ammunition in random places; my bag, the car. I took the gun out just last Tuesday, determined to see more of the sacred indigenous sites. I have already seen 'The crown of the shadow King' and a great many other remarkable artworks in the surrounding caves. The usual congregation of hard boiled men collect themselves up town. They stare at my car, going to and from the sacred places, of course. I've taken to clutching the old double barrel, even as I wander around the sun damaged bushland near the cave sites. Sometimes I sense men tracking me. I have seen men with suits and fedoras congregating at odd locations during my walks. Often I've cocked my gun, pointed it nervously, as the sound of twigs breaking under hard shoes pursues me. The paths to and from the cave sites are almost always second rate, overgrown, and clearly neglected by men for some time. I've often had to bushwhack through hard scrub, sometimes hacking my way through miles of dry wood, in the surrounding fields of ash grey, burnt out banksia trees, the crackling fingers snap off at the touch. Surreal towers of rounded red stone, mark the indigenous defensive spiritual barrier towers. There appears to be a parasite or virus affecting the gum trees on the northern end of town. Most are ridden with a thick purple moss, the insides often festering, mulched leaves rotting in piles upon the dirt. I have also had to endure chastisement from stinging nettles, and heavy set briars which pierce through the flimsy material of my pants.
The rewards have been supple. The sacred art suggests an intricate paranoia to the Warriwul not usually allowed 'primitive' societies. The painterly mathematical diagrams at different locations around the valley form a complex equation about the slow degradation of the Warriwul way of life. It's almost as if they saw the downfall of their culture before it happened, and though they knew the presence of white man marked their extinction; their calculations are much more aligned with the terror of whatever spiritual threat they perceive as occupying or emanating from the mangroves. Most disturbing.
More disturbing still, was today as I was wandering down the trail between the library and Aviary paddock; I had been petrified by a gun shot. Diving onto the lumpy, gum-nut covered dirt and clutching the shotgun, I couldn't see a damned thing through the walls of twisting bushland on either side of me. I know the gunshot had been fired nearby; above my head from the sound of it. I don't think the shot had been fired at me, but I do believe it had been intended to threaten me. It had been my object to explore Oper Bodie and Murro vale sometime in the coming week, and the morning gunshot had been enough to fast track the idea.
I returned home to get the car. Pheobe was there on my verandah with Norah, getting high, I didn't tell them about the gunshot; staving off chit chat, and explaining my intention to travel to Murro Vale. No, I didn't want Pheobe to come, I told her, it would be too distracting to my important work.
An odd feeling returned to me as I drove uptown. Ever since the fateful tarot reading with Pheobe; the night before we first made love, I have been afraid of Pheobe's curious over intellectualisation of the cards. Her predictions of her lovers downfall, a fateful meeting at Serpentine Road, and some mystery at Barry's Gateway ; all had me over analysing everything. Was I the lover who had been foretold of in Phoebe's cards? Had I predicted my own doom? Serpentine road was the only way in and out of Town, and knowing I had to traverse it to get to Murro Vale ...had already made me cautious to go. What if this grave foretold meeting ...came true?
As usual, the townsmen were all gathered around the shops on Prime Street. Today they had seemed particularly testosterone fueled. With their backs to the street, they were mobbing raucously around the doctors surgery for some reason, obviously clammering to look at something inside. I could hear Bruce laughing boisterously from within. Keen to get out of this suffocating town for a few hours, yet highly curious as to what the men were doing, I cautiously slowed down my car to suss out the brouhaha. I had never paid attention to the surgery previously and now found myself analysing the strange building, with its archaic blue communist-style logo, and deco trimmings. There was an old style sign near the side alley which read; 'Cameron Bane and A. Tasman.' Who I suppose were the town surgeons. But then, to my utter perplexity I observed their specialist titles beneath - 'bio-sculptor' ; 'skin resurfacer'.. Now... What on earth was a bio-sculptor? And why would a small town like this need anyone remotely aligned with that profession?
Two of the men had noticed me now, and turned to face the car, walking towards me. I was tempted to drive off but didn't want to draw excess attention to myself. I recognised the men, they were men I had been aquainted with in the last couple of weeks. One was Clancy Digston, he was a hired muscle man from out of town, I believe he worked for Banjo, (the town figurehead). The other was Gazza AKA ‘mudslide’. The other men apparently referred to Gary as 'mudslide' because he comes from Murro-vale, and near ties to an aboriginal lineage 'through a rape'. 'Hello Flynn,' said Digston threateningly, 'Come to hang around some real men 'av ya? Sick of your dead beat junkie mates already? It's the dogsballs isn't it, being a no good nick, eh?' 'You better get out of this town VanDeBerg if you know what's good for you. ' Gazza re-affirmed like a ten dollar lackey. 'Even mudslide wants you gone you old coon. What do you think of that?' 'I'm already on my way,' I said firmly, '...off to Murro Vale. Sightseeing'. 'Snoopin' around again? You've got some nose on ya mate. Be careful where you go stickin' your nose into around here. We don't want no snoop Dogg in these parts. Here me matey-o? That's the sort of mutt --ought to be send straight to the pound. Ya git me? Now. Piss off ya dog.'
A feeling of loathing burrowed into me as I slowly drove away, as Digston came at me with a few more slurs of encouragement, his face red with hatred; yelling at the carboot. The winding bends of Serpentine road were not as ominous as I feared. At least they were clear of human life, dumb cows in fields; anything seemed soothing after you were out of the presence of those rednecks up town. It wasn't a long drive into Murrovale, and it occurred to me I really had no plan of where to visit. There weren't many sacred sites in Murro Vale, and I wandered if my reason to explore wasn't entirely based on getting out of Bishop's Valley for a day. As I drove into town, those familiar dull factories and industrial warehouses came into view. It wasn't as ugly as the first time I viewed it. With the big purple mountain behind it...It was difficult for the scene to be made completely ugly. Even with all the wasteland of industrial ambition.
The town seemed busier than last time I had driven through it, the hustle and bustle of rusted country cars surrounded. The men who peered from car windows looked no less sinister than the brawny men who hung around Bishop's Valley shops all day.
In my rear view mirror I received another uneasy jolt. I recognised the car behind me. It was the grey Nissan Pulsar that had been parked at the library two weeks ago. It was definitely the same car, I remembered the licence number; TYZ 999. What was the car doing out here in Murro Vale? Was somebody following me? I couldn't get a clear image of the driver. He had scrappy brown hair, maybe a hair-piece, and he was wearing dark sunglasses.
He was trailing me at a distance, moving out of sight whenever I slowed or parked. I wanted to get out of sight for a while, see if the man in the pulsar would give up, so I stopped at a public observation area. There was a steep incline through a bush path which led up to the observation green. Some kind of viewing spot. I figured if I blew some time here the guy in the car might lose interest in my tourist activities. Quickly I staggered along the trail, a pile of twisted broken wood, a dead tree, a pagan essence following me up, I stopped on the flat, overgrown grass, out of breath. I hadn't expected anything eventful to occur up the hill, however, the view point gave an excellent vantage to see Murro Vale. A sprawl of tin roofs, brick houses and smoking factory chimney's ; lay over the horizon like an oversized industrial cemetery. But my eye was drawn particularly to one area of interest in the bushland beside a nearby factory.
There was a procession of men engaged in apparently sinister activity. About twenty men in suits, labouring in a way their attire didn't necessitate. They were moving some type of goods, dragging heavy sacks from one place to another, loading the giant brown mesh bags into a commercial truck whilst others looked on and directed. There was a large hall nearby their location, I could tell by its architecture it was a niche hall, not a corporate place. Some of the men were leaving the lodge, whilst others loaded the trucks. For some reason I resolved to investigate, sliding carefully down the grassy hill, being careful to stay behind the bushes, out of sight. I think I could just make out what the men had been loading into the bags, because there was a mound of something not quite right to the far side of the grass clearing. From the looks of things, the men were cleaning up from an event which had occurred earlier. Clambering over the shrubbery, I continued my descent to comprehend the strange scene.
I had to tread carefully. Since I'd been taking the junk, I'd noticed some odd side effects. I'd never hallucinated sober, but I had starting getting a hazy, purple discolouration to my vision sometimes of late. Occasionally my eyes blurred, and I couldn't see well. I still couldn't tell what the light brown mound was. The men carrying bags had all but left now, and one of the big trucks had started up its engine. Something convinced me it was safe to enter the open field. Bile rose in my throat as I realised what the pile of fresh bodies was, of the same matter as those dangling slabs of meat nailed to the trees. Massacred kangaroos. I'd hopefully assumed some sort of butchery for consumption, but the dressing of the men, and the way they loaded the carcasses in brown bags into trucks. Something was not at all right in this arrangement. I quickly scaled the walls of the hall, in case the men returned to retrieve more kangaroo corpses. I wonder where the trucks were taking the corpses? I could hear male voices talking now; but one of the trucks was definitely departing along the road, out front. Slowly moving along the other side of the building, I tried to examine what the strange hall was.
The building had an almost religious quality. Like a modern Protestant church in its functionality, but with more trimmings. Almost an air of Scientology about it. Ominous closure of a kind was brought when I noticed the strange symbol of a chess bishop upon the balustrade. The same one imprinted on the old library book I had borrowed.
Moving stealthily like a jaded private investigator, I made my way further around the side of the lodge; hoping to find some more useful clues as to the buildings purpose. There was a partition of the building, which extended out, upon which was an open window. Maintaining a low altitude I strafed along the wall until I could get a narrow view inside. Slowly raising my head, I found myself looking into a room, empty of people ; lights off. In the darkness, I could only vaguely deduce the shapes of a filing cabinet, a safe, and metal shelves. The voices out the front of the building made me hesitant to break and enter, but with a little optimism, I noticed a bound leather folio on the table just below the window. With a small bit of flexibility and cunning, I was sure I could reach it through the opening. Red in the face from flexing muscles; on tip toes, my arm stretched as far is it could, the hard wooden frame dug into my under arm, but successfully I grasped the book and retrieved it.
I fled, hurriedly, back into thick foliage, paranoid I might be seen. Not stoping to read the book, I concealed it beneath my coat, then with wilderness cunning; I hurriedly ascended the hill I had come down, maintaining in the shadows of the shrubbery, scarpering to return to the viewing plateau. Top of the hill. Scanning the horizon, and convinced I had gotten away with my theft, I returned to the path that led back down to my car.
At the bottom. I couldn't see the man in the grey Nissan Pulsar, and eager to keep it that way, I placed the book on the passenger seat of my car and engaged the throttle. Within a minute I was back on the road, uncertain of my destination, heart beating in my chest from the thrill of my crime, but moreover from the brash red iconography that stared up at me. There it was again. shining blasphemously; the all too familiar, 'red seal'. On the cover of the book.
I knew i had to pull over and browse the book somewhere. But no sheltered parking spot seemed to reach out. I drove in through the industrial end of Murro Vale, until I reached a quiet street, with an odd assortment of run down shops. There was an out of the way parking spot, behind a tall, twisting blue-gum. Turning the ignition key off, I immediately grabbed the leather journal and flipped through it. It was another odd corporate record of some kind. For the most part it was nothing more than a list of names and numbers, my lungs collapsed in a disappointed exhalation of warm air. Flipping from page to page, I was daunted by the mundane cryptically vacant notes. Then I stopped and shuddered. I recognised some of these names. There! J. Briars. What was Jaycen doing listed in this curious account keeping book? I searched the listing under his name. 'Termination of employment'. Then another! P. Rimbaud. That was Pheobe's name. There was a tick next to her name under the title 'Bishop's Head'. N. James. D. Arnesto. That could be Pheobe and David! C. Hersch. I'll bet a million dollars that's Chelsea, the librarian. She said herself she was employed by an agency named RedSealRecruit, though I only just now made the correlation. I wondered how the 'Red Seal' corporation were linked to Blacklab, my publisher. My name was in the book too. 'F. VanDeBerg. Scheduled for Relocation.'
This had given me much to think about. Hiding the book in my glove box, I exited the vehicle, choosing to browse the quaint old antique store opposite; to give my brain space to think, and to keep looking natural, just in case I was still being observed. The shop was called 'Alderman's little junk shop', in the window were various vintage anomalies; a giant polyester statue of 'Blinky Bill' the classic Australian cartoon koala, A cardboard cut out of Ned Kelly (legendary Austrslian bush ranger). An array of vintage police rifles. Unavoidably, my eyes scanned, counting them. Four. Eight. Nine. There were nine rifles.
My thoughts were racing as I entered the store. Primarily in regards to what Pheobe had told me about how she had gotten the mark on her neck. All the input of my senses suggested that there was something sinister happening, orchestrated by this red seal company. But what?
Rows of colonial pottery, jolly men's faces with pink noses, governor's hats and whiskey bottles in hand. Then there were Asian and Pacific Islander masks, Tikki and tribal sculptures. Some authentic indigenous spears. None of this did anything to sedate my fears, or provide me answers.
I started to feel altogether queasy. Claustrophobic in Murrovale, my resolve was to quickly drive up the ridge and scope out Oper Bodie before sunset.
The owner of the antique store scowled menacingly as I left through the strings of hanging beads, a ringing bell marking my exit. But before long I was back out on the road, leaving the putrid pollution and slums of Murrovale, and winding back into the stark country road North Westwards, into the humble mining town. The view towards Oper Bodie was altogether beautiful, rich bushland skirting the lower half of the other ranges of the valley. Blue's and purples and reds collected in a moving impressionist painting as the sun slowly rested its head against the mountain, ready for sleep.
I'm ashamed to admit, but certain urges had begun to take afternoon liberties with me, right now I was stinging for relief. For a fix. As I scanned the tattered map on the passenger seat beside me, looking for a more uninhabited region of Oper Bodie to take a quick pit stop, one particular landmark stood out to me, impressed upon my brain; 'Barry's Gateway.' It was only five minutes down the road from where I was, and before I knew it -- I'd arrived at the remarkable bushland reserve; lush native banksia trees furtively lined the outskirts of the park. Further up on the hillside, the quaint rooftops of residential properties were observable, but there was no sign of life in Barry's Gateway except for the old Barn on the far side of the park. I looked nervously around, to make sure I was alone, then untying the ribbon on the black velvet purse, I removed the syringe and a small saddie. It's amazing how quickly habit becomes second nature, before long I had a lighter burning under a used stainless steel spoon. The tension of the strap was jubilation. I felt my heart accelerate as the point of the needle pierced my vein. Then, my memory fogs somewhat.
There was the part where I stumbled out of the car to look at the sunset. Orgasm running through my blood, and heat in my pink cheeks, I'm quite sure I stood on the grass at The gateway for a long time. The hallucinations had come to me again in droves. They were positive at first. It was almost like a 70's musical, in the pastel colours of the sunset, I'd envisioned thousands of naked, dancing bodies. Life celebrating itself, dancing in an orange heaven; happy memories waltzed around in the refracting light whilst I'm quite sure ; 'Let the sunshine in' had begun to play on invisible loud speakers inside my ears. But as the coloured disk of daylight had actively fell behind the mountain, as heat dissipated and night stretched out it's arms... Panic and sorrow returned to me.
I felt that sensation again, of joy slowly draining away with the night sky. I began to think too much, the story of the massacre at Barry's gateway began to occupy my thoughts. The slaughter of the indigenous population here was horrible enough, but there was something about the murder of 2000 convicts by the gentry of Bishop's Valley that disturbed me even more. Racism could at least be negated to bigotry, ignorance, scape goating. But who were these men ; who so loathed humanity, race, class, gender ; meant nothing to them. These men scared me more than all others. Men who were colourblind, yet homocidal, psychopathic, having no empathy, yet desiring power, dominion over other men.
I think I fell asleep on the grass. Merging with paranoid dreams of flowing interconnected serpents of nature, art nouveau tentacles stretching through everything, life and nature, a patchwork quilt of an unknown yet sinister design.
I believe I reached some sort of spiritual endarkenment, out there on the grass at Barry's gateway, Oper Bodie. Gazing up at the stars. My consciousness became one with the valley. I became Bishop's head.
All the time, I felt the ego conflict with tomorrow, as though the place itself wanted to erase my new memories, so it could awake to some purer daylight tomorrow morning. In the car, a procession of hallucinations followed me home. Flying along beside the car. It was as though invisible alien life forms had always been occupying dimensional spaces beside me, but only now had I been able to grasp their function in the ecosystem of time, weaving destiny, inhabiting separate dimensions like reality amphibians. The strange orbs, with skin textured like testacles, may have been the ones digging those holes, I thought, insanely. Their spindly appendages seemed well acquainted to cutting and digging.
Eventually I accepted that nothing was actually there outside the car, as I sobered up and arrived home. The hallucinations had abated but my troubled mind had not.
I've been laying in bed for hours now, unable to sleep or calm my racing thoughts. I need to know what happened to the Honi line of bishops and to what extent the Gubbel men were involved. There must be some explanation, some link between the red seal company and the replacement of local figureheads. I can still hear the trucks, driving in and out of town, and parking down on the Southern boat ramp. I know what they are doing. I know that they are dumping that kangaroo meat down on the mangroves, but I still can't understand why.
The answers are in Gubbel's basement. They must be. Tomorrow I'll have the answers.
Audiobook available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVWQ8g_1tSw&feature=youtu.be
Chapter Five - https://www.reddit.com/libraryofshadows/comments/6j0e0t/the_mangroves_of_bishops_valley_part_five_of_six/

Subreddit	Title	Brand
Showerthoughts	Using AT&T indoors is like using an iPod	AT&T
gaming	PS4 Interrupts Xbox One's US Sales Streak in November	Xbox
AskReddit	Serious Why didn't Facebook ever develop a dating app?	Facebook
AskReddit	Which language produces the funniest results when translated back to English using Google Translate?	Google
AskReddit	Who would be your top five picks to be President of the United States?	United
gaming	No Man's Sky has amazing hitboxes x-post /NoMansSkyTheGame	Sky
videos	Pigeon story: How the Rock Dove became the Sky Rat	Sky
videos	Pigeon story: How the Rock Dove became the Sky Rat	Dove
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Why is Air Force One a bigass Boeing 747?	Boeing
videos	Waka Flocka & Gucci Mane gets a Reporter turnt up during an interview and he blacks out.	Gucci
books	Is there an easier way to get an epub into Google Play Books?!?	Google
listentothis	Nucleust -- Of King And Tree Djent, Progressive Metal2016	Progressive
todayilearned	TIL The "You've Got Mail" guy is now an Uber driver	Uber
todayilearned	TIL that all "Granny Smith" Apple trees are clones grafted not grown of a single tree in Australia.	Apple
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Why can't you delete a Microsoft Word document directly on Microsoft Word?	Microsoft
Showerthoughts	After Apple and Samsung both decided to get rid of the head phone jack, maybe it's actually beneficial.	Apple
todayilearned	TIL that Apple produced a Mac computer that can receive TV signals in 1993 that only sold for 5 months.	Apple
AskReddit	How do you spread your Youtube channel?	Youtube
AskReddit	People who were Wells Fargo customers that had accounts opened under your name without your knowledge, what's your story?	Wells Fargo
AskReddit	Serious Non Americans, what are your views on the United States military?	United
funny	Didn't expect Google to be THIS accurate. It was exactly what I was searching for.	Google
Showerthoughts	Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver" should play every time someone opens Adobe Dreamweaver.	Adobe
videos	Awesome drone video of Newport Beach California	Newport
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Why are American news channels so opinionated and pundit-heavy? Why are there no non-biased, straight news channels like Sky News in the US?	Sky
personalfinance	401k: My Work moved to PNC and PNC won't keep my allocations, anyone else have this trouble?	PNC
videos	Incredible Takeoff and climb New Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner ANA airlines	Boeing
gaming	Games Like H1Z1 for Xbox One?	Xbox
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: How does Facebook make those moment videos?	Facebook
gaming	Is there a free full casino game on PC? Something like Casino Kid for NES. Just walk around and play whatever games you want.	Casino
gaming	No Man's Sky is by far the best Lube Farming simulator out there.	Sky
nottheonion	Hijacked Walmart truck leads Spokane Police on historic chase	Walmart
todayilearned	TIL making false statements is a federal crime in the United States.	United
Showerthoughts	Sometimes when I feel bad, I wish Fred Rogers was still around.	Rogers
todayilearned	TIL if it wasn't for Mr Rogers bringing his understudy to Canada, we wouldn't have had Mr Dress-up	Rogers
dataisbeautiful	Wealth Inequality in the United States	United
news	State Police: Victims Live on Facebook Before Deadly Crash	Facebook
videos	Mr. Rogers acceptance speech for his Life time achievement award.	Rogers
Art	3D Ferrari car, Cyber Space, 3D Art, 2016	Ferrari
AskReddit	Which do you prefer out of the three, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks or Tim Hortons? Why?	Starbucks
gaming	Commodore in 2016? No problem. My Intel powered C64	Intel
videos	Mr. Rogers explains to children why violence and shootings occur.	Rogers
AskReddit	Which one do you prefer, Papa Johns, Pizza Hut or Dominos?	Pizza Hut
funny	If you text a random number with your Facebook linked to your Phone number, you're going to have a bad time.	Facebook
Showerthoughts	Nobody ever goes on the second page of Google results	Google
videos	Mr. Rogers Talks With Parents About Discipline	Rogers
mildlyinteresting	This one packet of sauce from Taco Bell has no phrase printed on it	Bell
television	More Mr. Rogers - Michael Keaton on Fred Rogers	Rogers
pics	Accidentally took this Shot of a Nikon with my new Sony A7rii.	Sony
funny	Did McDonald's Just Ask Me to the Dance?	McDonald's
videos	set your Facebook Group URL	Facebook
AskReddit	People outside the United States, what are the most popular songs of your country right now?	United
Music	4 Your Eyez Only by J. Cole on Apple Music	Apple
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Why are some Youtube comments so one-dimensional and why do they always seem to get the most likes?	Youtube
pics	Drew an iPhone On Adobe Illustrator for Little Sisters' Homework. I added a bit of flair to it.	Adobe
AskReddit	If Starbucks has a custom drink made for you, what would the name of it be? Bonus, what would be inside of it?	Starbucks
space	Another John Glenn tribute desktop image I made using that Delta IV long exposure image. HYLI	Delta
worldnews	Sydney doctor murdered wife with insulin shot - BBC News	BBC
pics	Prince Rogers Nelson. late 70s	Rogers
Music	4 Your Eyez Only by J. Cole now on Apple Music	Apple
worldnews	German Intel Agency: Russia Is Trying to Destabilize Germany	Intel
videos	New Burger King Hotdogs Cause Food Poisoning	Burger King
news	US actor Judge Reinhold arrested in Dallas - BBC News	BBC
Showerthoughts	What if the Walmart self checkouts are unpaid training for the public who will all eventually work at Walmart when they take over and become our overlords when there are no jobs left but working at Walmart?	Walmart
IAmA	AMA Request Dan Bell @ThisIsDanBell	Bell
worldnews	Australia's richest woman Gina Rinehart to buy Kidman estate - BBC News	BBC
space	Neil Degrasse Tyson gives a toast to John Glenn at AMNH Holaday Party	Tyson
AskReddit	How does the Flat Earth Society's perspective of John Glenn's passing differ from the rest of the United States?	United
space	Neil deGrasse Tyson Gives toast to John Glenn at AMNH Holiday Party	Tyson
videos	A little known fact, Mr Rogers was an amazing rap artist.	Rogers
movies	Fixed music for Ghost in the Shell trailer.	Shell
gaming	Best No Man's Sky Mods and mod installation guide	Sky
news	Veterans Eye Flint Water Crisis as Next Target Following the Standing Rock Protests	Target
science	Scientists Discover Feathered Dinosaur Tail Trapped in Amber	Discover
worldnews	US actor Judge Reinhold arrested in Dallas - BBC News	BBC
AskReddit	Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers are hanging and decide they need to have a trio. Who should be added to their group?	Rogers
todayilearned	TIL that Michael Keaton started his acting career on Mr. Rogers neighborhood and was on the production staff for years.	Rogers
OldSchoolCool	My Grandfather in 1966 at the Columbia gorge. He is standing next to my Grandmothers 1965 Chevrolet Super Sport.	Chevrolet
AskReddit	Why is President of the United States called Leader of the free world ?	United
Jokes	Pancho and Cisco would usually pass the days just doing nothing in particular...	Cisco
Jokes	Pancho and Cisco would usually pass the days just doing nothing in particular.	Cisco
Showerthoughts	Yelp is the Michelin Star rating system for cheap food.	Michelin
tifu	TIFU: Allowing things to get so far as to enable someone to post my Facebook on a GameFAQs message board as revenge.	Facebook
Showerthoughts	Watching that video clip of Mr. Rogers absolutely MESMERIZING Senator John Pastore while defending PBS at a Senate hearing, I realized that Donald Trump is basically just the evil-goatee-alternate-universe-version of Fred Rogers.	Rogers
worldnews	S Korea lawmakers vote to impeach leader - BBC News	BBC
news	S Korea lawmakers vote to impeach leader - BBC News	BBC
worldnews	South Korea lawmakers vote to impeach leader - BBC News	BBC
videos	GTA 5 Cheats PC, PS4, Xbox One, PS3 & Xbox 360	Xbox
pics	Beautiful Landscape Sky Nature Landscapes Wild Area	Sky
gifs	32 years of Dubai's growth, courtesy of Google Earth 1984-2016	Google
Jokes	Why didn't Thomas Jefferson drive a Jeep Wrangler?	Jeep
listentothis	Harakiri For The Sky -- The Traces We Leave Death Metal/Black Metal 2016	Sky
Jokes	Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?	Walt Disney
AskReddit	Why dafuq is Trump going for the Winston Churchill look in his pictures?	Winston
news	Hamilton: 'I want to apologise to heat scheme whistleblower' - BBC News	BBC
news	Islamic State 'has lost 50,000 fighters' over two years - BBC News	BBC
news	Canada lags behind Mexico in exports to the US - BBC News	BBC
videos	How This Sea Shell Knows the Weather in Greenland	Shell
funny	Saw this in my Facebook feed tonight... I need to move out of California.	Facebook
worldnews	Chapecoense crash: Bolivia official accuses bosses of cover-up - BBC News	BBC
gaming	Help with Skyrim SE mods on Xbox one	Xbox
worldnews	Trafficked babies, black money and India's values - BBC News	BBC
todayilearned	TIL in the garden of a house in Zurich where Erwin Schrödinger lived in the 1920s, there’s a figure of a cat that can appear either alive or dead, depending on light conditions.	Zurich
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Do artificial sweetners like in Pepsi Max cause weight gain?	Pepsi
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Could the United States government or the state governments invalidate all existing same-sex marriages?	United
funny	This girl destroyed the receipt after a Costco staff drew her a rabbit?. She actually threw it on the escalator and kicked it away. Lol	Costco
WritingPrompts	WP You search Google and find there are no results for 'United States'.	Google
television	[The Return of Doctor Mysterio: Official TV Trailer - Doctor Who Christmas Special 2016	BBC One](https://www.reddit.com/television/comments/5hdgx2/the_return_of_doctor_mysterio_official_tv_traile)
videos	Woman Amazingly Plays 'Carol of the Bells' On A Handmade Bell Suit	Bell
worldnews	China: Xi calls for stricter ideological control of universities - BBC News	BBC
funny	This girl destroyed the receipt after a Costco staff drew her a rabbit?. She actually threw it on the escalator and kicked it away. Lol	Costco
news	Veles, Macedonia - Fake news on Facebook is a thriving business raking in thousands every month.	Facebook
Documentaries	LONDON CALLING: BBC bias during the 2014 Scottish independence referendum 2016.	BBC
philosophy	[Why sexual desire is objectifying – and hence morally wrong – Raja Halwani	Aeon Ideas](https://www.reddit.com/philosophy/comments/5hdhw8/why_sexual_desire_is_objectifying_and_hence/)
funny	This girl destroyed the receipt after a Costco staff drew her a rabbit?. She actually threw it on the escalator and kicked it away. Lol	Costco
todayilearned	TIL Fred McFeely Rogers Actually Never Served In The Military	Rogers
worldnews	Robot takeover begins? Corporate giant Capita replaces staff with automatons	Capita
videos	[How to Fix Copyright on Youtube 2016
videos	Beautiful' dinosaur tail found preserved in amber - BBC News	BBC
movies	[How to Fix Copyright on Youtube 2016
news	Veterans Eye Flint Water Crisis as Next Target Following the Standing Rock Protests	Target
Futurology	Robot takeover begins? Corporate giant Capita replaces staff with automatons	Capita
videos	Get custom URL of Facebook Group	Facebook
worldnews	Veles, Macedonia - Fake news on Facebook is a thriving business raking in thousands every month.	Facebook
todayilearned	TIL that Volkswagen won an Ig Nobel prize for " for solving the problem of excessive automobile pollution emissions by automatically, electromechanically producing fewer emissions whenever the cars are being tested."	Volkswagen
gaming	One of the best 99 cent games I ever purchased. I got a pin for it at PAX 2010 and I saw it browsing the Xbox live store. Promos do pay off.	Xbox
Showerthoughts	Before the Internet ,we would spend a lot of time telling jokes to each other .now you just have to Google it.	Google
WritingPrompts	WPBucky Barnes actually got a prediction about his miserable future after he was rescued by Steven Rogers from Hydra. However, without any details, it is impossible for him to save himself.	Rogers
news	"The BBC was unable to verify the size of Olivio's behind."	BBC
pics	They say nothing stops a Jeep. Sometimes they just need a Subaru to start it.	Subaru
gifs	A Boeing 720 being flown into the ground to test a fuel additive 12/1/1984	Boeing
videos	Braxton Miller was an Xbox level spin move	Xbox
videos	Fiona Apple - Paper Bag	Apple
worldnews	[Uber is treating its drivers as sweated labour, says report	Uber treats its drivers as Victorian-style “sweated labour”, with some taking home less than the minimum wage, according to a report into its working conditions based on the testimony of dozens of drivers.](https://www.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/5hdw4u/uber_is_treating_its_drivers_as_sweated_labou)
pics	Buying from eBay can be a dangerous game	eBay
news	Coca-Cola CEO Muhtar Kent stepping down	Kent
AskReddit	What are the dos and don'ts of visiting the United Kingdom?	United
tifu	TIFU: By not looking into what TD means on Tinder.	TD
videos	[The Return of Doctor Mysterio: Official TV Trailer - Doctor Who Christmas Special 2016	BBC One](https://www.reddit.com/videos/comments/5he0tc/the_return_of_doctor_mysterio_official_tv_traile)
news	Coca-Cola says CEO Muhtar Kent to step down in May	Kent
AskReddit	Tesla is an Apple to Electronic Cars, who will become an Andriod for Electronic Cars?	Apple
funny	Only in Halifax Kijiji	Halifax
funny	So, I get this ad on my Facebook like everyday. I die laughing every time because of Gastly in the BG looking different directions due to the mirror.	Facebook
funny	So, I get this ad on my Facebook like everyday. I die laughing every time because of Gastly in the BG looking different directions due to the mirror.	BG
news	'Thirty killed' in Nigeria suicide attack - BBC News	BBC
Showerthoughts	A large portion of people reading this have no idea that Walmart was not always open 24/7.	Walmart
worldnews	'Thirty killed' in Nigeria suicide attack - BBC News	BBC
Art	Sleepy Fox, Adobe Illustrator, 8" x 7"	Adobe
Documentaries	"Diving Bell ; The Truth Shall Not Sink with Sewol" 2015	Bell
todayilearned	TIL that article 2 of the Constitution of the United States of America states that you have to be 35 years or older to run for office	United
worldnews	'Thirty killed' in Nigeria suicide attack - BBC News	BBC
mildlyinteresting	The toy animals at Target have genitalia	Target
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: why do climate change deniers only really exist in the United States?	United
news	Stolen Walmart truck leads Spokane Police on historic chase	Walmart
todayilearned	TIL That Walt Disney father worked on the 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair and would tell stories of all the countries coming together for a big Expo. That sparked his interested in future Worlds Fair, which was the inspiration for Epcot.	Walt Disney
todayilearned	TIL That Walt Disney father worked on the 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair and would tell stories of all the countries coming together for a big Expo. That sparked his interested in future Worlds Fair, which was the inspiration for Epcot.	Walt Disney
UpliftingNews	A UPS driver who spotted "call 911" scrawled on a package helped police free a woman who had been held captive in her own home and sexually assaulted, authorities said	UPS
movies	Ghost In The Shell Official Trailer 2017- Scarlett Johansson Movie	Shell
Music	J Coles "4 Your Eyez Only" released today, after listening to it 3 times through, here are my thoughts/review on the album as a long time fan.	Coles
Showerthoughts	If Superman was created today, he'd have a hard time finding a place to 'change' from Clark Kent into Superman.	Kent
videos	Trolling My Kids with Google Home	Google
news	Police: UPS driver helps free captive woman	UPS
worldnews	Trump offers Goldman Sachs President Gary Cohn directorship of National Economic Council	Goldman Sachs
Showerthoughts	If bar soap was once made with animal fat, did Dove used to be made with dove fat?	Dove
todayilearned	TIL In 2009, Pepsi started marketing itself as Pecsi in Argentina in response to its name being mispronounced by 25% of the population and as a way to connect more with all of the population	Pepsi
news	‘Alt-Right’ Trumpsters Discover True Meaning of ‘Star Wars,’ Wage #DumpStarWars Campaign	Discover
todayilearned	TIL that Fred Rogers HATED a Wendy's ad starring "Mr. Rodney" because he might confuse children by trying to sell them hamburgers, but he warmly remembers visiting & hugging Eddie Murphy while he was taping "Mister Robinson's Neighborhood"	Rogers
funny	I was looking for the new Android update. Google assistant found something else for me :/	Google
OldSchoolCool	Seretse Khama 1st Pres. of Botswana and his wife Ruth Williams, on whom "A United Kingdom" is based, in the 1960s	United
worldnews	[Rupert Murdoch's Fox agrees deal to buy Sky	Business](https://www.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/5heng1/rupert_murdochs_fox_agrees_deal_to_buy_sky/)
WritingPrompts	WP Superman thinks everyone buys his Clark Kent alias, but everyone at the Daily Planet knows that he is superman. No one will tell him because he is oblivious to it and the joke has gone on for years. Even Lois is in on it but won't tell him.	Kent
news	Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox Fox agrees deal to buy Sky	21st Century Fox
pics	14th St-Union Sq Subway Station Last Night	Subway
news	Seaborne radiation from Japan’s Fukushima nuclear disaster has been detected on the West Coast of the United States for the first time.	United
news	21st Century Fox in £18.5bn bid for Sky - BBC News	Sky
news	21st Century Fox in £18.5bn bid for Sky - BBC News	BBC
news	The European Union EU has started legal action against seven nations. Four, including the UK and Germany, are under fire for failing to take action against Volkswagen for cheating emission tests. Member states have two months to respond.	Volkswagen
pics	Picture of the moon that I took last night. Sony A6000 with 55-210 lens.	Sony
worldnews	Twenty-First Century Fox approaches Britain's Sky for takeover	Sky
Showerthoughts	I am surprised that Facebook and Twitter are more popular than Reddit.	Facebook
Showerthoughts	I am surprised that Facebook and Twitter are more popular than Reddit.	Twitter
news	Twenty-First Century Fox approaches Britain's Sky for takeover	Sky
worldnews	Twenty-First Century Fox approaches Britain's Sky for takeover	Sky
Futurology	After hearing about it for a couple of years, here is McDonald's self-service kiosk.	McDonald's
videos	The Adobe Song	Adobe
videos	Try not to cry, Mr. Rogers goodbye	Rogers
AskReddit	Cops of Reddit, what's your opinion on citizen concealed carry in the United States?	United
Futurology	Facebook Should Crush Fake News The Way Google Crushed Spammy Content Farms	Google
worldnews	Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox to buy all of Europe's Sky	21st Century Fox
news	Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox to buy all of Europe's Sky	21st Century Fox