This is gonna be a really long, rambling post about gacha, gambling, addiction, psychology and ethics. If you want the TL;DR, here it is: Joey and Garnt are at the very least irresponsible influencers, and at the very worst they might have a serious addiction that stems from a low dopamine life-style.
We all most likely watched the episode and know what happened and what was talked by who, but for further context, if you are unaware of anything, even after the memes, on the last episode of Trash Taste Podcast, specifically in the last 40 minutes of it, the Boys discussed (and argued) about the gacha game scene and gambling addiction. You can check it out on the sticky post on the top of the subreddit front page.
To cut it short, Connor argued that gacha games are just as if not more dangerous than actual gambling, specifically for a few reasons. First, it is a game of no return. In real life gambling, you can (fleetingly) get real money back from it, and even make a considerable profit. Gacha games simulate the act of gambling while offering no significant reward or value other than a measle amount of dopamine and a cute character to play with. Secondly, the game is marketed towards older kids, teenagers and young adults on an age range of 12-25 years old, an age group where most individuals are either not mature enough to manage their money safely or even financially independent at all, with most people in this range not even being active members of society yet. Furthermore, the gacha-gambling model is largely unregulated and unsupervised by authority figures, be it responsible adults, laws or any other regulating institution.
To this, Garnt (largely) and Joey (in a lesser but still significant way) responded that, while they agree no one should be able or willing to spend such large amounts in these games, they do not pose significant harm to most people, and even further, can present justifiable value enough to be acceptable in their current forms, with minor changes. At one point, Joey expressed the idea that if these games made it difficult for him to spend money, he would mostly just not play them at all rather than go free-to-play. Garnt attempted to defend the idea that spending on these games was not necessary and going the F2P route was not only possible, but easy. He himself, however, admitted to that not being the case with him.
This is the thick and short of it. Now let me get into the main argument this post is attempting to make.
Connor's position along the entire discussion was entirely and utterly reasonable, and not only that, but even after being soft-gaslighted into being less harsh on his stance, he still was the only one willing to take the problem seriously at all.
Garnt and Joey, kn the other hand, began the discussion with an ironic and memey tone, not taking it at all seriously. When Connor's stance didn't change and his points began hitting a little too close to home, that's when they got defensive of their point and tried to appeal to various fallacious arguments and unbelievable takes. Most notably, Garnt defended that "If you have a problem with gambling or if you have poor self-control, you just should not be playing Gacha Games", which beyond being obvious, is a bonkers thing to say. It would be akin to saying "if you feel depressed or suicidal often, you should just ask for help and not kill yourself" or "if you have a drug problem, maybe don't go buy drugs". It is a statement that hides behind it's obvious correctness to take away attention from the fact that this adds nothing of value at all to the discussion,nor does it make for a suitable defense of the system that gacha ganes operate in.
The first big problem with this entire thing is that the three of them, both in the podcast and with their individual channels, have a great influencing power. Having your opinion, no matter who you are, broadcast to over a few hundred thousand people world-wide is bound to influence or resonate with some of the audience. When the person in question is a respected figure, speaking to an audience of admirers or fans, most of which at a young age, and within a subject matter of interest to the audience, the influence rate will grow even bigger. In this midst, there is statistically no way at least a handful of people didn't watch this episode and felt like they had their actions justified. Add to this that the gacha community at large is either aware but indifferent to the similarities it has to gambling, or straight up defensive of the entire model, and you have a pretty dangerous mixture of things here.
The second issue I see and hope to convey on this matter is that both Garnt and Joey seem unaware of just how scummy and messed up the tactics behind gacha games are. It's not just rate manipulation and constant advertising. The entire development process is centered around creating the perfect space for you to spend copious amounts of money without feeling that you really spent them. It goes so much deeper than just making cute girls to sell you. From the game page on the app store you get it from to the main menu, to the game design, to the in-game systems, to the rates, to the promotions, to the update cycle, to the end game, to the daily challenges, EVERY LITTLE ASPECT of it is engineered to rewire your bain into believing that it's not that bad to spend, and having the desire to do so more often than you reasonably would.
This is a very important one, amd Connor briefly touched on it in his rant. Cassinos, actual gambling places, build and thought to make you spend and lose, are like a glass door compared to the five inch lead wall that is the gacha strategy. They show you the rates at all times. They offer you the option to set yourself a limit. They make you aware that you are spending money, they cap the age at a minimum of 21, they have a lot of systems in place to control bad spenders. Of course, most of those came from law and regulations, but even before that, back in the 18th amd 19th centuries, no normal adult would advocate or defend that 12 to 18 year olds should be able to gamble real money into pieces of paper or cardboard cutouts. So imagine thinking, for even a moment, that what gacha games do is even close to okay. It is not, by any measure, morally, ethically or lawfully, okay.
But it gets worse. Way worse. Here is where I began actually worrying about the boys, in particular Joey and Garnt, the latter most of all.
They seem to actually believe that the above exposed is somehow justifiable based on little doses of dopamine, memories and the abstract idea of "the experience" you get. They compare spending ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on a game to get TWO DIMENSIONAL IMAGINARY GIRLS to a night out with friends where you spend a hundred dollars in food or drinks.
What the actual f*ck.
This is not just bad. It's really, really bad. It's unreasonably and unbelievably absurd. It nearly collapses the entire concept of reality from just how bad a take this is.
No. No, no, no. NO. In no way, in no conceivable theoretical way, one of those things is comparable to the other. Never. This is the type of thing that depressed people tell themselves to justify self destructive behavior. Spending copious amounts of disposable income into games just to get "a daily dose lf dopamine" going is insane. Just for reference, you can get dopamine for free by doing any of the following:
Exercising
Finishing a task-list
Cleaning your room
Working on a passion project
Playing any sport, specially with friends
Going for a walk with you pet
Having a conversation with a friend or significant other
Having a good meal
Waking up from a good nap
Watching a fun movie
Traveling
Hiking
Riding a bike
Radical sports
Reading a good book
Seeing a long-time relative or friend you missed for a long time
Getting a hug
Having sex
Sleeping cuddled with you SO
Holding hands
Kissing
Watching the sun set/rise
Going to the beach
Camping
Playing an actual good videogame that isn't f*cking Genshin or FGO
This is not an exhaustive list. It's literally just things I thought off the top of my head while writing this. Some of those activities require some money to do, and some are impossible during the pandemic. But most of them are free/cheap and easy to do at home or with little to no contact with anyone.
If getting a good pull in a lootbox virtual casino is the best way you can think of to get any dopamine release, or if that release is so significant to you as to justify spending more money than some people make in a week, then I'm sorry, but you have a serious problem. I mean it. I know the Boys can do most or all of those things listed up there and much more. I know for a fact they are not in a situation of loneliness, vulnerability or isolation, even in the current world situation. So why is it that Garnt thinks gambling is a good solution for boredom in the quarentine? Or why did Joey insinuate that making it harder for him to spend money would just make him drop the game?
And if these two, that as I said are in a very privileged spot of having easy access to healthy ways to produce dopamine and conquer isolation, are having this kind of relationship with these games, what's to say of people around the world, including many of their listeners/viewers, who either live alone and/or have no perspective of a successful career with easy access to basically limitless disposable income like they do? What's to say of the teenagers who spend all night up playing games, watching anime, jerking off and stealing their parents' credit card to buy pulls? What's to say of the depressed university students who have a shitload of debt thrown at them and live an isolated, virtual life right now? What about them?
Joey and Garnt might not have any problem controlling themselves, or have enough money to waste such that a thousand dollars into gachas doesn't feel unreasonable, no matter how actually unreasonable it is. But they are either ignorant of the actual problem, or (and I sure hope I'm completely off on this one) completely unemphatic to their struggles. Because "Just don't play" is not a thing someone with empathy for the gambling addicts would say. Connor was deadass on this one.
And that leads us to the final nail in this horrific, goldplated coffin. The memes.
Yes, the memes.
There are so many memes. Garnt mentioned that "no one memes on the guys going bankrupt" while doing just that for half an hour. The entire gacha culture is basically a serious sociological and psychological problem deep-rooted into the heart of the zoomer generation. And yet it wears a mask mad e of memes, that hides the actual problem under a nearly impenetrable layer of irony, self-pity and depressive jokes. But the subject is not that funny under the magnified lens of a closer look.
The easygoing demeanor with which gacha addicts and casual underaged gamblers treat the entire thing is so light on the mood, so soft on the eyes, that you may just forget that those people might be ruining their lives. It's not a joke. It should not be treated like one. The meme culture around gacha fames has created more gambling addicts among 15 and 16 year olds than any illegal casino would ever dream of. These young people are just laughing away ridiculous sums of money for a teenager to spend, and feeling none of it until it is too late to go back and give up.
I am not trying to guilty trip any of the Boyys here, nor am I accusing them of being apologetic of underage gambling. I'm just trying to put this entire thing under a serious light. Because it needs someone to do so. This post comes from a place of worry and love, not one of disrespect or accusations. I simply want the Boys to look at this in a responsible way.
I might be talking to the walls here. I might really be just shouting in the vacuum. But if I can try to make my voice be listened to, I will. Because I must. If you read all the way down to here, I have two more things to say.
One is: please, do not let the monetization model these games operate in get to you. If you've spent any amount of money on them and feel tempted to continue, I insist you don't. If you have only ever played them without spending, and are still having fun, you're free to do so, but tread carefully.
And the other is: gacha mechanics can ruin much more beyond your financial wisdom. They are actively harmful to the games industry as a whole. Instead of making good games out of passion, these developers are being led to create mediocre games out of greed from the higher ups. If gou care about gaming at all, or if you just give a shit about an industry many people love, I request that you understand why gacha games are a bad sign, and that you spread that awareness, if you can. This is a really important subject to me and I think ut should be to other gamers as well.
Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Save your money.
P.S.: Garnt, Joey and Connor. If you guys read this, I love you and what you do. I listen to this podcast almost religiously, and I really enjoy all of it. Please, take care of yourselves and have a great 2021. Peace. (This is a shot in the dark, the chances of them reading this are so low I feel almost stupid. But hey, I tried huh?)

Love? Give it six months

Warning: this story will contain mentions of unhealthy relationships and adult themes. The main character also has some character traits that may differs from your own, please do keep that in mind.
Review and comments will be appreciated
(Customisation)
There once was a dashing bachelor
(That looked like )(uses the OH male feces)
Face 1
Face 2
Face 3
Face 4
(Hairstyles)
James Bond (black slick backed)
Don Diego Vega (dark brown wavy hair slicked back long neck)
Steve Rogers (Short blonde side swept hair)
Agent J (Short kinky curls)
Is this him?
Yes
No (go back to customisation)
What is his name?
(Default: George)
(Surname)
(Default: Bishop)
There he meets
A beautiful woman
A handsome man
A beautiful woman
Face 1 (Asian; has pale skin, dark almond eyes, straight black mid-back hair with a mid-part)
Face 2 (Hispanic: has tan skin, deep brown eye and over shoulder-length volumes wavy hair with side bangs.)
Face 3 (Afro-American: dark skin, expressive brown eyes with long blackish brown chest-length kinky curly hair.)
Face 4 (Caucassian: pinkish skin with freckles, clear blue round eyes, collarbone length layered dirty blonde hair)
A handsome man
Face 1 (Asian: pale skin, dark almond eyes, straight black hair put up in a pompadour style)
Face 2 (Hispanic: tan skin, with slicked back wavy hair that always looks like it is coming undone.)
Face 3 (Afro-American: dark skin, expressive brown eyes, with a crewcut with tight natural curls.)
Face 4 (Caucasian: pinkish skin with freckles, clear blue eyes, dirty blonde hair in a Taper haircut.)
As the two peoples eyes lock across the room. The sensation of a pull drives them to get closer to one another.
As the dashing bachelor offered his hand his partner gladly accepted it. Leading into a dance that lasted the rest of the night.
The whole world faded away to the sound of the Jazz band, their breathing and their dancing.
As their lips moved to meet...
???: “Oh come now Joanna, you know that is no way that would ever happen.”
​
(Record Scratch)
Joanna: “Oh for craps sake, George I was getting to the best part.”
George: “Forgive me for finding it uncomfortable that you have decide how my love life is going to go.”
Lance: “He does have a point there sis.”
Joanna: “Way to stand up for your sister Lance.”
Lance “Look I’m all for love conquers and all that jazz but it is kind of difficult to make a love life for someone else.”
George: “Thank you.”
Lance: “I mean he isn’t a completely lost cause. I’m sure some desperate soul will take him.”
Lance: “I mean he’s got dads looks, and he managed to get with mom when they were young.”
Lance: “That might make up for his zero tact.”
George: “Your faith in me is awe inspiring.”
Lance: “Oh cheer up. With your upcoming trip to Vegas, maybe you’ll have luck in love and not just on the poker table.”
Joanna: “Maybe you’ll meet someone special!”
You snort, finding the idea silly.
George: “I wouldn’t bet on it.”
Chapter 1: One night in Vegas
In an underground speakeasy decked out in old decor from the 20th centuries first half. You sit there nursing your drink. After a long day at the office you love nothing more than when you can enjoy your secret fancy. Dressed up in an old-fashioned pinstripe suit and a fedora. You feel like a king, this little piece of haven in Chicago that seemed to be frozen in time.
You feel your friend beside you stir, he himself having to relax from work as well as dreading an upcoming event.
After his fifth sight you opt to actually talk about it.
You take a swing of your drink and decide to talk about the elephant in the room.
Or more accurately you decide to talk about the issue in pre 1940’s slang
George: “Your bear cat of a sister still giving you a hard time?”
Jeremy: “Noneofya.”
He mumbled.
George: “Look Pally, I known you since we were scrubs and had squat. What's eating you?”
Jeremy: “That dame will chisel me out of every dime I own.”
George: “Stephie acting like a Big cheese cause she is getting hitched?”
Jeremy: “She wants everything spiffy and I’m quite sure her ankle biters will be paying the bills. My folks are on my case regarding my dame.”
You think for a moment. Jeremy and Katie had been together for four years. They got one another, they lived together.
George: “Stephie’s lucky her guy thinks she’s the Cat's meow.”
You said reflecting on everything you ever heard regarding Darren, he was a good guy. Definitely not the smartest but he loved Stephanie like she was the only woman alive. You just wondered why anyone would want to spend time with that woman.
Jeremy: “Alright, real talk.”
Jeremy said as he dropped ‘the act’, we were no longer hot shots in the prohibition era. We were now just George Bishop and Jeremy Jackson a financial advisor and a computer wizard.
George: “In all do honesty I do not see why you need to go there? Aren’t bachelorette parties strictly female?”
Jeremy: “They used to be, but I am quite sure I am not going with them to be pampered like the bridesmaids.”
George: “Then your function is?”
Jeremy: “If I were to guess, fall guy and pack mule.”
Jeremy: “I think she is also doing it to brag, that ‘she did it first.’ To rub it in Katie’s face.”
George: “You never really care what your sister does. Why now?”
Jeremy: “Because they are pressuring me and Katie. Not just my family but next to everyone we know. ‘When is the wedding? What is the venue? How many guests? Are you going to have it this year?’ Look I love my girl, but none of us is in rush to walk down the aisle.”
​
Yeah, you know, you were the first one Jeremy told about his plan to propose. You were happy for him but at the end of the day it was up to Katie and Jeremy. Not you or their families. However the rest of the world seemed to think differently.
Mom: “Oh sweetheart, happy valentine’s day! Are you spending it with someone special?”
George: “Mom, you know I am not looking for someone.”
Mom: “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find that certain someone sooner or later.”
​
Yeah, it isn’t enough your sister is married and your brother is utterly twitterpated with his boyfriend. You need to ensure your oldest is also with someone.
​
Boss: “Mr. Bishop, I must say. I am impressed with your work ethics, but we have decided to go with Mr. Robinson as the face of the company.”
Never minding the fact that you worked twice as hard as said college.
George: “I understand. May I ask what made you choose him?”
Boss: “We did research and found that your college would be favourable, due to circumstance.”
​
Translation: we wanted a man that was married and not the workaholic bachelor.
​
​
Stranger 1: “You see that guy over there?”
Stranger 2: “You mean the one with the RBF?”
Stranger 1: “Yeah, probably one of those loners, will never find anyone.”
Stranger 2: “I mean who goes to a restaurant like this alone?”
​
Honestly? You can’t have a meal alone?
​
​
George: “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
Jeremy: “Seriously.”
Both of you take a sigh.
Jeremy: “But in all honesty. Thank you for coming along, I really appreciate it. Would probably loose my mind if I went alone.”
George: “Of course.”

1. It would be a shame to lose my partner in crime.
   
2. My boss would be pissed if I didn’t.
   
3. Who would turn down free drinks?
   

Jeremy: “Yeah sounds about right.” *Choice 1*
George: “Remember how we got back at Marcus Thatcher?” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “Oh, I remember. Too bad he didn’t check the file we sent, it might have saved him some embarrassment.” *Choice 1*
George: “Big tough football star being fooled by ‘two scrawny’ freshmen.” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “And we were hailed as heroes for a month.” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “Wait, don’t tell me HR department has been on your case.” *Choice 2*
Geroge: “Yep, too much overtime.” *Choice 2*
Geroge: “Never mind I make sure that everything is quality controlled.” *Choice 2*
Jeremy: “Geesh. Well glad to know I could be of service.” *Choice 2*
Jeremy: “Ah there it is, I knew you had a hidden agenda. *Choice 3*
George: “Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, when have I ever hid something from you?” *Choice 3*
Jeremy: “Alright fair, you are honest to the point of insult.” *Choice 3*
Geroge: “You asked for my opinion, besides those shoes where ugly as sin.” *Choice 3*
Both of you laugh, you had been in each other’s life since kindergarten. You where the odd ducks, most kids and adults always considered you to be cold or judging. Even if neither of you had that intention.
Jeremy raises his glass.
Jeremy: “To intellectual companions.”
George: “To intellectual friends.”
You said as you raised your own drink in a toast.
​
​
The weekend finally arrived for the trip. You arrived at O’Hare airport with a good three hours to spare. You crack open the book you brought with you.
It was a supernatural detective story you received as a gift on last birthday a few months back. While you applaud your sister for trying, it was still jarring to follow all the supernatural deus-ex-machinas that discarded real detective work.
So that is how a 31 year old was reading a supernatural book in broad daylight.
George: ‘ with gun drawn, Duskraven made her way down the basement, the surroundings smelled of blood and muck.’
Geroge: ‘Romano’s empire was now in full display in front of her. Fae, lined the walls, eyes hollow and only the movement of their chest indicating they were still alive.’
George: ‘Duskraven took out her polaroid camera, it was a risky but if this would ever have a chance to justice. Her leads and information would need to be solid if she wanted to take down the vampire cartel. She just hoped the light for the camera would be noticed.’
George: ‘With a blinding light the entire basement lit up temporarily blinding her, when she regained her sight again a new horror met her eyes. Multiple pairs of hungry red eyes.’
Jeremy: “George!”
You tear your eyes away from the book in your hand.
There is Jeremy and Katie, hand in hand. Seeing them together was always a happy occasion.
Katie and Jeremy met at your favourite speakeasy a few years back. You didn’t blame your friend for becoming interested in the ICU nurse. Curly red hair and big blue eyes. Even if the courtship had started out rocky due to both of them being so shy. They overcame that hurdle and found something they wanted.
Sometimes however you wished you didn’t feel like you were interrupting them.
George: “Good morning, is Stephanie and her friends also here?”
Katie: “No they had a sleep over at Daria’s house. So they will be carpooling.”
You look at your clock and it was about two hours before the plane would take off, your bags where checked in and you were ready to leave and get to the section where the gates would be. But there was still no sign of Stephanie.
As you though you heard a rumbling sound.
Both you and Katie looked at Jeremy as a sheepish grim grew on his face.
Katie: “Told you, a ham sandwich wouldn’t hold.”
Jeremy: “It will hold till lunch, which is a few hours away.”
George: “You sure that is a good idea?”
Jeremy: “Tell you what, I’ll go if you come with me and Katie.”
Katie: “So what do you say?”
McDermott's
· Sure, I could have a bite. (💎12)
· Perhaps we shouldn’t
Diamond Choice:
George: “Alright, let us have something to eat.”
Jeremy: “Good! Airplane food leaves much to be desired.”
Katie: “You always think with your stomach.”
Jeremy: “Yet you love me.”
Katie: “Yes, odd isn’t it?”
You make your way inside and stay in line.
You look at the menu and order
· Breakfast burrito
· Bacon and scrambled eggs
· Fruit and oatmeal
You order your food along with a big coffee. You all slide into the booth, Katie had her yogurt in hand both of you looked worryingly at Jeremy’s breakfast.
(Tilting tower of pancakes)
(Holy crap!)
You swore for a moment both you and Katie was reading each other’s mind.
‘He is going to puke.’
George: “Hey Jeremy, think you can get some napkins?”
Jeremy: “Sure.”
As he left you plied a few pancakes away, making sure that you saved the top one so he wouldn’t notice. Katie making sure the tower didn’t fall.
She gave a thumbs up, thanking you.
George: “So Katie, how have you been?”
Katie: “There is always a lot of things to do at the ICU, sometime I wonder where humanity is headed.”
George: “Really, that bad?”
Katie: “How would you explain having a locomotive lodge up your rectum?”
George: “How did that happened?”
Katie: “They claim they fell on it, if I had a dollar every time this happened I wouldn’t have any student debts.”
You shake your head, you have been thinking a bit about what Jeremy said at the Speakeasy. You had also noticed that something was up with Katie, she was on edge.
George: “Katie…”
1. “Did you want to go on this trip?”
2. “Has Mr and Mrs Jackson been pressuring you?”
3. “Do you want to get married?”
Katie: “In all honesty no, but Stephanie has made me a bridesmaid. I need to partake in these things. Even if I wish I didn’t.” *Choice 1\*
George: “Why?” *Choice 1\*
Katie: “I wish I could care as little about protocol as you do, but she is Jeremy’s sister, if I say no it might affect my relationship with Jeremy and his family.” *Choice 1\*
Katie: “Yes, I mean no, I mean… it’s complicated.” *Choice 2\*
George: “How come?” *Choice 2\*
Katie: “I’m 30 years old George, time is ticking. They want grandchildren to spoil.” *Choice 2\*
George: “And you have to be married to do that?” *Choice 2\*
Katie: “Of course I love Jeremy.” *Choice 3\*
George: “That wasn’t the question, do you want to get married?” *Choice 3\*
Katie: “It is just so big, all those expectations. I… it scares the crap out of me.” *Choice 3\*
George: “Listen, I will tell you something.”
You said using your stern voice.
George: “Jeremy loves you, he chose you. You chose him. That is the truth at the end of the day.”
Katie looked at you, a shy smile graced her lips. She mouthed a thank you.
Jeremy made his way back to you with a great pile of napkins. You all begin to take part of the meal. During the entire meal Katie and Jeremy’s shoulders touched and they looked as content as they could be.
(‘Loving it’ you had breakfast at McDermott)
None diamond choice:
George: “Let us just sit down and relax, we should be in Las Vegas at 1 am. Knowing Stephanie we will probably eat something there before heading to the hotel.”
Katie: “Maybe, I’ll get some water at least.”
Jeremy: “Good idea.”
(‘Not hungry’ you didn’t have a McDermott breakfast)
As all of you wait for the supposed ‘bride’ you hear commotion.
Sure enough you see a brunette with a close to permanent scowl on her face. Followed but two very flustered women.
“There you are! WHERE have you been?!”
Her tone is as pleasant as you remember, nails on a chalkboard.
Jeremy: “We have been here waiting for you.”
Stephanie: “You aren’t even going to help me with my bags. What type of brother are you?”
Jeremy: “Well we are here, we have about half an hour before the plane leaves. So let’s get to the gate.”
Stephanie just huffed. Storming away.
George: “Wow she is in a good mood.”
You state sarcastically.
Jeremy: “Yeah she gets like that some time.”
Jeremy: “Just try not to set her of, she can be a handful.”
Katie: “I mean how bad could it possibly be?”
You were never the very superstitious type, but you were quite sure that Katie just opened Pandora’s Box.
​
​
From the time the plane touched ground in Nevada everything that could set of Stephanie did.
Stephanie: “URRGH!!! where is that shuttle! He is LATE!!”
Jeremy: “They told us like five minutes ago there is traffic jam.”
Stephanie: “Then he should have planned it earlier!”
Stephanie: “I will not wait an hour! WE have a schedule to follow!”
George:’ This coming from the woman that almost missed the plane to her own bachelorette party.’
Daria: “They say it is only another 15 minutes.”
​
​
Stephanie: “I DON’T CAREEEEE!”
Stephanie: “What do you mean that our suits where not booked?”
Receptionist: “You never sent in the deposit for your stay.”
Stephanie: “THAT WAS GEMMA’S JOB!”
Gemma: “I told you, the suits needed to be paid for by the same person that booked them.”
​
​
Stephanie: “You are a bridesmaid, you are supposed to make things work!”
George: ‘Honetly…’
George: “Sigh…”
Stephanie: “THIS ISN’T WHAT I ORDERED!”
Waitress: “Yes it is, you wanted a calamari.”
The poor waitress looked exhausted and probably wanted to be anywhere but here, not that one could blame her.
Stephanie: “NO IT ISN’T! I wanted the pasta with bacon and cheese.”
Katie: “A cabonara?”
Jeremy: “Stephie we are at a seafood restaurant.”
​
​
George: ‘IS she ever satisfied?’
All of us where back at the hotel, Stephanie insisting that they ‘needed’ a new set of clothes for the casino and club they were planning on hitting. Jeremy looked ready to just give up.
George: “You know, you could simply say no to her.”
Jeremy threw an exhausted glair at me.
Jeremy: “If it was so simple neither me, you nor Katie would be here right now.”
George: “And you wouldn’t be here doing this Sisyphean task, which obviously brings you missery.”
Jeremy: “Yeah well, I still want my parents in my life, if I didn’t do this, they would never let me live it down.”
What to wear to the casino?
· Tuxedo 007 (💎 15)
· Basic black
Diamond option:
Jeremy: “You look like James Bond.”
George: “I’ll have a martini, shaken not stirred.”
You said and an amused smile spread across Jeremy’s face.
None diamond choice
“I Think I’ll stick with this.”
“Fair enough, I am too exhausted to care anyway.”
​
​
​
Jeremy said with a tired smile. You both left the room, making our way to one of the pulsing centres of the strip.
There in the golden casinos you thought finally your luck would finally turn for the better. That the glamorous atmosphere would rub off on the soon-to-be bride. Causing her to stop doing her impression of a screeching barn owl and let ALL of them enjoy Sin City.
Well it seemed to have worked, for now.
Both you and Jeremy where at the black jack tables, enjoying yourself. While the ladies were back at the slots machines.
Jeremy folded a while ago, it is just you and one more. You looked down at your cards a jack and an ace. You opponent opposite you had this confident smirk on his face. But you saw how the sweat was running down his face. He was bluffing.
George: “Hum…”

1. Act as if you have a bad hand
   
2. Act arrogant and self-assured
   
3. Do not react at all and watch the man squirm
   

You decide to let your brows furrow in what would look like frustration. The man opposite you lets the edge of his mouth turn in a smirk. His confidence boosting with every minute. *Choice 1*
You decide to put on the theatrics, giving a smile like the cat that ate the canary you look at your opponent. That is growing more and more agitated by the minute. *Choice 2*
You keep your face natural, a lot of people often comment that you look angry whenever they see you. You could only assume it was true because your opponent was practically squirming in his seat. *Choice 3*
When he reviles his hand, you pause for a moment before reviling yours.
You won.
George: “I’ll be taking these.”
You said as you dragged them back chips and split them evenly between you and Jeremy. You had started with the same amount of tokens. Even if you did work with money daily, this was one of those occasions you allowed yourself to be a bit more relaxed regarding that subject.
Jeremy: “Nice one.”
George: “All in a day’s work.”
Jeremy: “So what next?”
Before you could answer you hear commotion from the opposite side of the casino. The screeching voice meant that Stephanie was somewhere in the middle of it. Both of you sigh, knowing that your happy hour was over.
Sure enough there at the era leading into one of the shows where Stephanie and her entourage, all of them except Stephanie wearing baby pink dresses and Stephanie herself wearing a sash reading ‘all hail the bride’ along with a tacky tiara probably worth a five dollar bill at most.
She was screaming at a bouncer, while all the others tried in vain to calm the soon-to-be bride.
Stephanie: “You are an idiot! What service is this!?”
When we had arrived there was already an audience forming. Yeah this was common whenever Stephanie was involved. ‘Drama Queen’ had been your nickname for her during high school for a reason.
Jeremy: “What happened?”
Bouncer: “Your friend here slapped one of your dancers, something about them stealing from them.”
Stephanie: “I am the BRIDE! I am not supposed to have to pay for anything during my bachelorette party.”
Jeremy: “Stephanie, what about we get some fresh air, okay?”
Jeremy said as he tried to deescalate the situation. He gently grabbed her arm, but Stephanie was having none of it.
It felt like it all happened in slow motion, Stephanie turned around and a closed fist and rage connected it with Jeremy’s face. Your friend flew back and hit his head on the floor pretty hard. Stephanie didn’t even care to check what state her brother was in. Katie flew to her fiancés side and the sight of your friend’s bleeding face was enough to make you see red.
George: “Alright enough.”

1. Scold her
   
2. Embarrass her
   
3. Give her the evil eye
   

George: “Stephanie, you are way out of line.” *Choice 1*
Stephanie: “No I am not!” *Choice 1*
George: “You have taken no responsibility during this trip, you have been rude to every member of the party, you have caused a scene at every place we have been to. Do I need to keep going?” *Choice 1*
Your voice is like ice, you swear the temperature just dropped a few degrees. As you pointed out everything she has done during the less than 24 hours you been together. *Choice 1*
Stephanie looks angrily at her bridesmaids as is she is waiting for them to defend her. *Choice 1*
They do not, they know you are just stating the truth. *Choice 1*
George: “Your own brother did not want to be on this trip, he begged me to come along. Doesn’t that tell you just how vile you have been acting?” *Choice 1*
Stephanie: “You listen here…”*Choice 1*
George: “No you listen for once in your life!” *Choice 1*
You rarely let your emotions out but Stephanie was a special case. *Choice 1*
George: “If this is how you treat people, do not be surprised when Darren leaves you at the altar. He deserve better than this.” *Choice 1*
With that as a closing line you left, Jeremy might need to get to the hospital. He was worth more than Stephanie would ever be in your eyes. *Choice 1*
As you leave you are quite sure you hear someone applauding. *Choice 1*
With determined steps you made your way to one of the waitresses. *Choice 2*
George: “Excuse me.” *Choice 2*
You hand her a 50 dollar bill as you grab a big jug glass filled with beer and briskly walk back to Stephanie that is still screaming profanities. Because of her back being turned to you she didn’t see you. You saw how people began to take out their cameras and phones. No one made a move to stop you. *Choice 2*
With one quick movement you had poured it over her and a shriek of surprise entered your ears. *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “What the fuck is wrong with you!?” *Choice 2*
George: “Are you done with your little temper tantrum?” *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “What!? How dare you!” *Choice 2*
George: “You have been acting like a spoiled five year old since the moment we landed. I am surprised no one has done anything until now.” *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “You are so not coming to my wedding!” *Choice 2*
George: “It isn’t a loss, I was never here for you. Now excuse me I have more important things to deal with.” *Choice 2*
You left Stephanie to deal with the people that had gathered for the ‘show’ and she began to scream at them and calling them all sorts of names. But no one was intimidated, they found it hilarious. *Choice 2*
You grab hold of Stephanie, until she has no choice but to look at you. She is screeching, calling you every slur and bad name in the book. Your hands are firm on her upper arm, you just hold no squeezing, no pushing. You keep your eyes locked on her, you must have stood there quite a while until finally her defiant stare became weaker and weaker. *Choice 3*
You kept hold of her until she burst out into tears. At that point you let her go. Knowing you had knocked her down a peg. *Choice 3*
​
But Stephanie wasn’t your main concern, Jeremy was. You moved to stay with Katie and Jeremy, the crowd parted as the red sea as you walked by. All in stunned silence. *Choice 3*
​
​
George: “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Jeremy grimaced at the questing, blood still trickling down his face from where he had been punched. Luckily the nose would heal, the only question was what colour it would be in time for Stephanie’s wedding.
Jeremy: “I’ll be fine, Katie is here too. She knows what she is doing.”
Katie: “Having your fiancé being a nurse does have its perks huh?”
Jeremy: “Yeah one of many.”
The two of them smile at one another, before Jeremy turn back to you.
Jeremy: “Think you can manage your own?”
George: “I think I can stay out of trouble for one night.”
Jeremy: “Maybe, see you tomorrow George.”
Katie: “Have a nice night.”
With that the two of them made their way up to the hotel rooms.
You decided to check out the hotel bar. Despite being 10 o’clock it was surprisingly empty. Some people where there, some having already had a few to many.
But what caught your eye was a stranger sitting at the end of the bar.
There sitting in a knee-length ocean blue dress was a woman, leaning over resting her elbows at the counter. She had a faraway look in her face as she absentmindedly stirred her drink. *♀*
There sitting a young man, nursing his drink. His blue vest and slacks combo suited him well with the crisp white shirt. His attention seeming being elsewhere. *♂*
You sit down by the bar and is about to call on the bartender when I noticed a man, clearly intoxicated made a move on the man/woman at the end of the bar.
Drunk Idiot: “Hello there, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
The person in question just rolled hehis eyes. Clearly not in the mood to be the object of drunk admiration.
Drunk Idiot: “How about you and me go up to my hotel room and get to know each other a bit more.”
Haven seen the man/woman in question do every none-verbal que but slapping the idiot you decide enough was enough. He had disturbed you and the rest of the bar enough.
With the smoothest and coolest tone of voice you could muster you cleared your throat to get the drunk man’s attention. It wasn’t appreciated to say the least.
Drunk idiot: “What the hell do you want prick.”
The smell of alcohol radiating off him, one would think he had bathed in vodka. It was surprising no one had tossed him out from being a nuisance earlier.
George: “I do believe that you are bothering him/her. Please stop.”
George: “Look we are old friends, its noneofya business so bug off.”
George: “Oh really, then what is your friends name?”
Drunk Idiot: ”What?”
George: “What. Is. your. friend’s. name? If you are old friends you should surely know it.”
Drunk Idiot: “It’s ummm… Terry.”
???: “That is not even close.”
With both of you staring straight into him, mentally cornering him.
Drunk idiot: ”Screw this.”
The man declared in frustration and with that the idiot stormed off leaving both of you alone.
After making sure the guy was out of sight you turned back to the stranger.
He/She gave you a grateful smile.
???: “Thanks’ I really appreciate that?”
George: “It was nothing.”
You said making yourself ready to go back to your seat.
???: “Wait!”
The stranger called after you, out of sheer politeness you turned back around.
He/she Seemed a bit nervous, what now?
???: “Can I at least buy you a drink?”
You thought for a moment. You were on your own, Jeremy was probably nursing the bruise with some painkillers and you did not want to risk running into Stephanie or any of the bridesmaids. It also felt wrong to not take the opportunity to experience Vegas however.
So you accepted.
???: “Well What’s your poison?”
He/she asked in a joyous tone.

1. Matrini
   
2. Old Fashioned
   
3. Red Wine
   

With a quick wave they called the bartender over.
???: “So what brings you to Vegas?”
George: “Bachelorette party.”
???: “Did it have anything to do with that brunette that slapped one of the dancers and had security physically lift her out?”
George: “Bingo.”
???: “No one got seriously hurt?”
George: “Thankfully no.”
With that the bartender served the drink and the stranger slipped a 50 dollar bill.
You lift the glass in a gesture for a thank you. And let the beverage slip down your throat. It was nice, it was a good year and the taste was strong but not overpowering.
You noticed that his/her eyes were on you, almost as if they were trying to decipher your character.
George: “What are you doing?”
???: “Trying to get a read on you, some say what you order is often an indication of who you are.”
George: “Really? Then what can you say about me?”
You asked, deciding to humour them.
???: “I can say that that you are a man that know what he wants and how you want them.” *Martini*
???: “You are an old soul, you probably know your liquor well. My guess you have a great library at home.” *Old fashioned*
???: “You are quite classy, and you can find a way to get drunk before noon.” *Red wine*
With that you give an amused chuckle.
George: “Well there is some truth to that statement.”
You take a look at the drink they self are nursing.
(Dark n Stormy)
(Humm...)
George: “If I were to do the same to you, I guess you have a sweet tooth and might have wanted to be a pirate at some point.”
At that comment the stranger began to laugh. It was the infectious kind of laugh that made someone warm form the bottom of their stomach.
???: “Alright you got me there.”
He/she then stuck out their hand.
(My name is..)
(Default name: Skyler)
George: “‘Skyler’ it is a pleasure to meet you.”
You said as you shook it.
You take in Skyler’s look. You had to admit that they were an attractive specimen of a man/woman.
George: “The name is George Bishop.”
Skyler: “George Bishop, how professional sounding.”
He/ she said as if they were tasting your name in their mouth.
George: “Well I do hope so, would be difficult to be an advisor if people believed I was a joker.”
Skyler: “Ah, so you are one of those people that look at you and stamp ‘rejected’ on every paper?”
George: “I believe that I am fair in my judgement.”
George: “How about yourself?”
At that their eyes fell.
Skyler: “Right now, I’m a 30 year old trying to figure out my next move.”
George: “How come?”
Skyler: “Lost my job due to relationship issues between my manager and her boyfriend. Apparently, me being friendly was mistaken for flirting.”
Skyler: “What, they want a grumpy Greeter at the door?”
George: “That is unprofessional.”
Skyler: “Yeah, well relationships are messy.”
George: “Agreed.”
Skyler: “I must say the way you handled that woman, it was surprising.”
Skyler said in a genuinely impressed voice.
George: “You were watching?”
Skyler: “Kind of hard not to, I’m surprised half the hotel didn’t hear her.”
George: “Someone had to show her she isn’t the Queen of Sheba.”
Skyler: “What are your thought on marriage?”
You shoot up a bit, a bit startled by the blunt question.
George: “My thoughts?”
Skyler: “You seem like a guy that know what he thinks. I want to pick that brain a bit.”
It had been a while since someone had so blatantly flirted with you. To be fair you were a bit surprised. Dating had often been a minefield for you.
George: “Marrige…”

1. It’s an institution
   
2. It’s a partnership
   
3. It’s indescribable
   

George: “Historically it was a way to ensure land, money and heirlooms where added into a new household.” *Choice 1*
George: “It was also a safety for children back in the day, since basterds often faced quite a few challenges from being born out of wedlock.” *Choice 1*
George: “It is a symbol of trust, that you do have someone that you can count on.” *Choice 2*
George: “But at the end of the day, if you are unfair to that partner hey might not stay.” *Choice 2*
George: “To describe marriage is like trying to describe oceans and water. Even with similarities we can see, gathering it all in an explanation would probably not give a fair judgement.” *Choice 3*
Skyler: “To me it’s a promise. ‘To have and to hold’ it is silly in this day and age were people divorce left and right for trivial things.”
Skylers eyes became dark, falling into deep thoughts. You had never been the poetic kind, but there was a sweet sentiment in Skyler’s view on things. Your parents where still married over 30 years now. Your sister was due some time in December, your brother was off celebrating a two year dating anniversary and your paternal grandmother still loved her deceased husband dearly.
To you it just never happened, perhaps it wasn’t for you.
George: “That we can agree on, people are so afraid they will settle. At the first sign of trouble they leave.”
Skyler: “So that woman form before… how long do you think her marriage will last?”
George: “If she acts like she did tonight, I wonder if her husband will even stay for the ceremony.”
You looked at your new companion and in an unusual turn of events you called the bartender over.
George: “Can I buy you a drink?”
​
​
With that Skyler smiled, deciding to keep you company.
Sometime later you awake to the sound of your alarm clock.
You feel a splitting headache, you drag you hand over your face as you do you feel a cold metal band around your finger. Pulling back as your eyes focus you see that it is a plain sliver coloured band.
(is that?)
· Oh no…
Feeling more sober than ever before you realised just what a mess you got yourself into.
George: ‘I just got married in Vegas.’
Well, you’re screwed.

Continuing.
After the third pony keg of beer was delivered, it was decided that the next few days would be spent in the conference room discussing what we thought was the best way forward.
We wanted dry-erase boards so we could start taking detailed notes, even though I was well ahead of the curve in that regard. We instead ended up with some mobile elementary-school blackboards and a pile of grainy, sooty chalk.
Leave it to Dr. Cliff to go into a discourse on the genesis of chalk and its economic importance.
Bloody carbonate geologists.
Bloody White Cliffs.
We geologists need to punctuate their conversations with pictures, so these would suffice quite well.
At 1700 hours, the official end to the workday was called; we’d meet here again tomorrow. I’m not certain by whom, but it was readily agreed upon. We were more or less on our own until 1000 the next day. I needed to spend some time in my room with my notes and update a number of dossiers, field notebooks, and other items I was using as a running chronicle.
Several folks decided to invade one of the hotel’s restaurants for dinner. Some wanted to head to the casino, a couple wanted to get a massage, and others wanted to do what tourists are normally wont to do on the second day of being a foreigner in a foreign land.
I declined invitations to dinner and other activities, as I had a long writing session in front of me. I wanted to get this all in its proper place while the memories and notes were still fresh.
30 minutes later, in my room after a 25-minute wait for the elevator; I’m updating dossiers, creating several new ones, and updating my field notebooks. Suddenly, after an hour’s work, I notice something is amiss.
“I don’t have a drink or a cigar,” I said to the four walls. “This. Will. Not. Do.”
I was used to Happy Hour in Russia. Happy hour is slightly different; there are no ice cubes or orange-peel twists in the vodka. Also, it lasts all day.
I remedy that situation by finding and clipping a nice, oily oscuro cigar and digging the bourbon out from under my boxer-briefs in my dresser drawer. I heft the bottle and feel that it’s significantly lighter than when I left it last night. I happen to look in the trash can and spy the wrapper for a box of my festively colored Sobranie cigarettes I obtained back in Dubai.
“Hmmm”, I think, “It would appear that we have some light-fingered Cho Louies or No Louises around here. I’d best guard my supplies a little more securely.”
I move all my smokeables into one of my now emptied aluminum travel cases. They lock with the stoutest of combinations and it will be readily apparent if anyone is fucking with them.
I move some of my best booze into the pretty much worthless in-room safe. With a deft application of duct tape, I seal the safe. It may not be the most secure spot on the planet, but if anyone tries anything troublesome, they’ll leave an immediately recognizable record of what they were up to. It’s just too obvious; they’d have to be crazy to go in after anything inside there.
My money, keys, and passports are in the safe deposit box down in the lobby that the hotel supplies for visiting dignitaries. Even so, they let me keep my shit in one of them anyway.
That handled, I spend another hour writing like a madman. I suddenly realize I’m tired of all this and need a diversion as well as some food and, of course, drink.
30 minutes later, I’m down in the byzantine basement tunnels of the hotel. It’s crowded with hordes of Chinse tourists, and the casino is ground zero for the incredibly loud chatter.
I look in on the bowling alleys all three of them, and they’re full. The massage parlor is hopping, although I leave my name and they promise they will call over the PA when a suitable masseuse is available. Evidently, I ‘intimidate’ some of the more demure ones.
I wander over to the bar, now there’s a surprise, and see it’s packed to the rafters as well. I decide to wait for a seat to open up on Mahogany Ridge when there’s some gargling over the PA and a pair of Chinese nationals leave the bar in great haste.
I grab one of the two newly open seats, much to the chagrin of a couple of Oriental Unidentifiables (OU) who had their eye on them as well.
“Sorry, mate”, I said, “First come, first served. It’s the capitalist way.”
One of the pair grabs a seat and the other just stands there, looking annoyed unspent bullets in my direction. Forget that I’ve literally twice their size and could be an aberration as an angry American. They just order a couple of drinks, and content themselves in giving me dirty looks and probably say nasty things in their own indecipherable language about my national origin and familial heritage.
As if I gave the tiniest of rodental shits.
I fire up a cigar, as literally everyone else in the joint was smoking something more or less tobacco. However, there was a definite barnyard aroma, a regular Dairy Air, in the room. I think some of what was being smoked there was more bovine or equine in origin than botanical in nature.
With numerous hilarious attempts at Korean, pointing at a garishly photographed drinks menu, I was finally served a cold draft house steam porter and 100 milliliters of probably ersatz ‘Russian’ vodka, vintage late last Thursday. This bartender that could at least form some of the phonemes found in American English. A few. A definite few.
Since it all cost the equivalent of US$0.50, I really didn’t care.
Apparently vodka helps flowers last longer when they're dying. But you can put vodka in anything and it'll make it better.
Being a trained observer, I rather enjoy just sitting in any old bar, smoking my cigar, drinking my Yorshch, and watching people. I try and not be intrusive and I never eavesdrop, but I like to try and think of what strange set of circumstances brought us all here together in this place at this time. It gives me writing ideas, some of which I jot down in a notebook I always carry. It also gives me a good shot of nostalgia when I look back at something I wrote some 40 or so years ago.
Yeah, old habits do die hard.
I take a drag off my cigar and set it in the ashtray in front of me on the bar as I go to correct another egregious misspelling in my notebook. I have to immediately proofread what I wrote, or I’d never recall later what the fuck I was trying to convey; especially if it’s in a noisy, smoky, or murky milieu.
Quicker than a bunny fucks, Unidentifiable Oriental #1 (UO #1) deftly reaches over, snags my cigar, and helps himself to a few mouthy puffs.
I look at him, the empty ashtray directly in front of me, him again, and then UO #2.
Since I speak no real Oriental, much less Korean, language, and my Mandarin at this point is worse than laughable; I just point to the cigar, turn out my hands and shrug my shoulders in the international “What the actual fuck, dude?” gesture.
He just smiles a gappy, toothy, and snaggle-toothed at that, grin at me and makes a point of ensuring that I see him enjoying a few more drags on my own damned cigar.
Not able to contain myself any further, I venture a “What the fuck, chuckles? That’s not your fucking cigar.”
Like gasoline being tossed on a fire-ring full of embers, they both go unconditionally incoherently insane.
Yammering, chattering, jumping up and down, and getting right into my face. They wanted me to unquestionably understand that my few words of English insulted them far more than their filching of my $20 cigar.
OK, I’m pretty well trained in Hapkido; an oddly, given the present situation, hybrid Korean martial art. I’m at least 6 or 7 inches taller and who knows how many stone/kilos/pounds/Solar masses heavier than these two clowns. I could easily go all Gojira on their hapless asses and mop significant expanses of the floorboards with them.
Instead, I look around for the bartender. I figured since I was keeping him well supplied with Korean won via tips, and he spoke some English as well as perhaps whatever the fuck these characters were chattering; maybe he could get to the bottom of what was happening.
The bartender walks over and I ask him to ask the two unidentifiable twins why they stole my cigar.
He nods in agreement and goes on in whatever the fuck dialect was being used today by the pair.
“They say they wanted it. So they took it.” They ask, “What are you going to do about it?” the bartender relates.
I deftly reach inside my field vest, as everyone concerned ducks and covers.
I extract two fresh cigars; not a .454 Casull Magnum.
I give one cigar to the bartender and one to OU#2.
“With my compliments.” I pleasantly say.
I was well apprised of the fact that in certain places like this, the local authorities often approach foreigners with, for the lack of a better term, ‘Agents Provocateur’.
Like the Westboro Baptist “Church”, they try to get a rise out of you so you’ll lose your cool and either create a scene or take a poke at the miscreant. Then they have all the pretext they require to drag you to the local hoosegow, shake you down for every penny on your person, as well as any phones, notebooks, wallets, passports, cigars, cigarettes, etc.
Basically, they goad you into a fight, then drop the thousand-pound shit-hammer when you retaliate.
It’s all so parochial. So obviously clear as vodka; this elementary charade only raised a single eyebrow.
I’m not going to even raise my voice over a couple of cheap cigars that neither of them noticed I slipped them instead of the premium ones I was smoking.
Thus defeated, I asked the bartender to ask them if they liked the cigar.
“What do you think?” I asked in cordial English, “Too tightly rolled? Not caged enough? Too green?”
UO #2 slipped and said “It smells very good…” where he realizes he’s blown his cover.
“Yeah, I like it too.”, I replied, “So much so, I buy my own. What are your badge numbers, boys? I will be reporting this incident to Inspector P'aeng Yeong-Hwan, the head of security for the IUPGS conference to which I was invited as special scientific consultant.”
Of course, they immediately dummy up and feign illiteracy.
I say loudly and very clearly, “You bastards aren’t gonna get away with this. I mean, what is going on in this country when scumsuckers like you can get away with trying to sandbag a Doctor of Geological Sciences?”
I ask the bartender to translate, but alas, it was too late. They vamoosed when I turned to talk with the bartender.
They left so fast, they didn’t notice me snapping their pictures with my ancient but trusty Nokia 3310, revised edition, during our little chat. Even with a mere 2-megapixel picture, I have enough to show the North Korean leaders of the project to get an identification and make known my displeasure of being treated like some commoner or buffoon.
They left both my cigar and the one I gave them. The bartender tucked the cigar I gave him into his pocket and stared lustily at the two remaining on the bar.
“Take’em”, I said. I sure as fuck don’t want them. “Just a clean ashtray and a refill, if you would be so kind,” I say, as pleasantly as possible, considering the situation.
Both the unsmoked and my smoldering, as well as well-traveled, cigar disappear as quickly as minks rut. A clean, new ashtray, double beer and ‘vodka’ suddenly appear.
“No charge, Dr. Rock”, the bartender grins, as he shoves my erstwhile high-mileage cigar between his teeth.
“OK, fair enough.”, I say, “Spaseebah.”, and deposit a raft of won on the bar. The pile won’t be touched until after I leave in a few hours’ time.
“Stranger in a strange land.” I muse over a couple of further beers.
The call from the massage parlor never came, or it did and I couldn’t hear it over the clamor of the casino. I went up to the hotel’s Korean restaurant; had some salty soup, a sad, sad salad, and some form of funky fish, I think, for dinner. I retired that night in a slightly foul mood.
I called Es then the next morning and caught her before she retired. With a 14 hour difference between us, I was getting up at 0700 and she was getting ready to hit the hay at 2100.
I told her of the events of the day previous, and she was glad she wasn’t tagging along. She would have never accused the Korean geologists of being behind the times and would have probably bent the guy’s nose that swiped my cigar.
Agreed, that she’d probably be unimpressed with this place. I promised her that we’d go on a holiday when I returned from all this. It would be up to her to find out ‘where,’ and I’d supply the ‘when’ when I could.
Everything else was going along smoothly, more or less, on the home front, and I didn’t want to give the local listening-in federales too much to say grace over, so we said our parting admirations and rang off.
Shower, shower sunriser of real vodka and citrus, a quick brush and comb, and spiff of cargo shorts and new ghastly Hawaiian shirt; 30 minutes later, back down in the restaurant for the inevitable breakfast buffet.
After what some would consider breakfast and others would consider a vague attempt at nourishment, we reconvened in the conference room precisely at 1012.
Nothing like precision with this group.
We spend the next two days going over, in various groups, what we think would be required to set forth proper the quest for oil and gas in North Korea on track. Everyone got in on the act, and we advocated for that. We needed everyone’s input to make this happen. Or to even map a way forward to present to country officials. Those from the West on what was needed and those from the East to tell us what was available, and the combined wetware to make what needed to be done happen with what existed.
It took no small amount of doing, but we secured a set of maps that covered the entire country. We were watched very closely by the shiny suit squad that we did not copy, photograph or otherwise take any extraneous information from these sheets of infamy. All other maps in the country were intentionally skewed, with errors deliberately added in to confuse “interlopers, spies, or other personas non grata”.
I made a massive stink and told them that if we didn’t receive the unfuckered maps, aerial photographs and satellite imagery pronto, we’re packing up and leaving that afternoon.
“We don’t have time for monks resisting the carnival. We didn’t come here to try and guess if the maps are correct or if our remedies will actually work on maps that say one thing and reality says something else entirely.”
They hemmed and hawed, but as I made the announcement to all before lunch that if the real maps didn’t appear by the time we returned from tiffin, we’re gone.
And we take tiffin purty durn early round these parts, buckaroo.
No one was surprised as I when we returned and there were folio after folio of government-uncensored maps, photos, and imagery for our program. I guess they finally reasoned it would be a relatively good idea to begin to take us seriously.
We spent one whole day just going over our field geological apparatus. They had a good idea of how to use a direction-finder compass and Jacob’s staff to measure sections. However, they were totally flummoxed by our Brunton Compasses, GPS systems, curiously referred to as ‘position finders’, notebook mapping applications, and electronic data storage and retrieval systems.
Gad. It was like being back in the 1970s before PCs were a glimmer in IBM's corporate orbs.
We spent the next week working to bring our less fortunate colleagues up to, well, not date, but at least up to the brink of the 21st century. We explained that plate tectonics, continental drift, and the precession of the continents was accepted geoscientific principles, not some arcane Capitalist or Socialist plot to undermine the quality of science in the east.
Yep. It was that mindset we had to first conquer. I think we’ve made great headway in that direction today.
The next Chautauqua session had us split up into two separate groups. We decided in a fit of Cesarean inquiry to ‘divide and conquer’. There are two distinct milieus which are able to contain economic deposits of hydrocarbons: onshore and offshore.
Instead of attacking both head-on, we’d focus initially on the offshore domain. Once we had a good handle on what was going on under the East Korean Sea, the Huangai (Yellow) Sea and surreptitiously, the South Sea; we’d collaborate our findings and work to tie them in and extend them onshore.
The singular Phyongnam Basin is the one large depositional, sedimentological, and structural basin in North Korea. It is filled by the Joeson and Pyeongan Supergroups of sediments, which are Cambro-Ordovician and Permocarboniferous, respectively. These are good hunting grounds for oil and gas. Could be elephant–hunting country.
But before we could undertake that, we had to get ‘back to basics’. That is, we had to understand and delineate the ‘frame’ of the Korean Peninsula. In other words, we needed to figure out how and when the peninsula came into existence.
South Korea’s geology is much more complex, fortunately than that found in the North. There were nasty side comments that were due to the relative development not of the geology, but of the geologists who studied each country’s geology.
It was, perhaps, a mean way of characterizing the situation. But, unfortunately, it was also probably fairly accurate.
The Korean Peninsula is characterized by huge massifs, which are sections of a crust that are demarcated by faults or flexures. In the movement of the crust, a massif tends to retain its internal structure while being displaced as a whole. The term also refers to a group of mountains formed by such a structure. It’s basically one huge, semi-resilient rock.
The basement rocks of the Korean Peninsula consist of high-grade gneiss and schist, Paleoproterozoic Precambrian massifs, which formed in the early stage of Earth’s history. These rocks are unconformably overlain by metasedimentary rocks; schist, quartzite, marble, calcsilicate, and amphibolite, of the Middle to Late Proterozoic. The Korean Peninsula is floored by a collation of about five of these huge Precambrian massifs that acted like ‘microplates’ during the aggregation of the peninsula. These massifs consist of thick dolostone, metavolcanics, and schist, which were intruded by Paleoproterozoic granites.
These Paleoproterozoic metasedimentary and granitic rocks underwent repeated intracrustal differentiation, followed by the events of cratonization, i.e., regional metamorphism and igneous activity, at 1.9-1.8 Ga. Sediments deposited in the peripheral basins during the Mesoproterozoic and Neoproterozoic lead to stabilization as the basement of the peninsula.
These early depositional basins formed the locus of deposition that continued on from the Proterozoic through the Phanerozoic. There are at least three, perhaps four, depositional basins in the south which are delimited by structural zones, such as the South Korean Tectonic Line (SKTL), a huge zone of continental transform faults and forms the basis of boundary demarcation between the Okcheon and Taebaeksan basins.
The boundary between the Seochangri Formation of the Okcheon Basin and the Joseon Supergroup of the Taebaeksan Basin in the Bonghwajae area is a thrust (or reverse‐slip shear zone). This thrust is presumably a relay structure (i.e. a restraining bend) between two segments of a continental transform fault (the South Korean Tectonic Line or SKTL), along which the Okcheon Basin of the South China Craton was juxtaposed against the Taebaeksan Basin of the North China Craton during the Permian–Triassic suturing of the two cratons.
In the late Proterozoic, sedimentation was initiated in basins of the Korean Peninsula, accompanied by deposition of siliciclastic and volcaniclastic sediments as well as carbonates. The massifs were submerged in the Early Paleozoic during a greenhouse period, forming a shallow marine platform and associated environments.
The Cambrian-Ordovician succession unconformably overlies Precambrian granite gneiss. It consists of mixed carbonate-siliciclastic rocks of sandstone, shale, and shallow-marine carbonates. Sedimentation was initiated in the Early Cambrian with a global rise in sea level on the stable craton of the Sino-Korean Block.
There was a major break in sedimentation during the Silurian and Devonian periods in the entire platform. During the Carboniferous to early Triassic, sedimentation was resumed in coastal plain and swamp environments with progradation of deltas.
Major tectonic events were initiated in the Triassic when the South China Block collided with the Sino-Korean Block. The eastern part of the Sino-Korean Block rotated clockwise and moved southward relative to the South China Block along the SKTL.
In the Middle-Late Jurassic, orthogonal subduction of the paleo-Pacific plate under the Asian continent caused compression and thrust deformation. A number of piggyback basins formed along the thrust faults in the east of the SKTL. At the same time, the entire peninsula was prevailed by granite batholiths, especially along the northeast-southwest-trending tectonic belt.
In the Cretaceous Period, the paleo-Pacific Plate subducted northward under the Asian continent, forming numerous extensional (left-lateral strike-slip) basins in the southern part of the peninsula and the Yellow Sea. A large back-arc basin was initiated in the southeastern part.
In the Paleogene, both the volcanic arc and the back-arc basin ceased to develop, as volcanic activities shifted eastward, accompanied by a rollback of the subduction of the Pacific plate. In the Miocene, pull-apart (right-lateral) basins formed in the eastern continental margin.
The Korea Plateau experienced continental rifting accompanied by extensive volcanism during the extensional opening of the southern offshore basin. It subsided more than 1000 m below sea level.
So, as South Korea was mix- mastered by a half-a-billion years’ worth of structural tectonism, which created several depositional basins quite capable of generating and storing economic quantities of oil and gas, the scene to the north was much more quiescent.
The North was composed, from south to north, of the relict Imjingang Belt, which was an old back-arc basin between the Gyeonggi Massif to the south and the Nagrim Massif to the north. It is a paleo-subduction zone, full of volcanics, volcaniclastics and other non-hydrocarbon bearing rocks. It was mashed and metamorphosed, and basically forms a convenient boundary between the complex geology of the South and the more relaxed geology of the North.
Heading north, we come across the Pyeongnam Basin, the only North Korean basin thus far defined that could contain hydrocarbons. Further north is the huge Nangrim Massif. It’s a huge block of igneous and metamorphic rocks that weather very nicely and form some spectacular scenery, but from an oil and gas economic outlook are worthless.
Offshore North Korea, there are two possible petroliferous basins. The offshore West Korea Bay Basin and East Sea Basin, along with five onshore basins could be offering exploration potential. At least ten exploration wells have been drilled in the West Sea, with some showing “good oil shows” along with the identification of a number of potential reservoirs.
The West Sea potentially has oil and has reportedly flowed oil at reasonable rates from at least two exploration wells when they were drilled and tested in the 1980s. Meanwhile, the East Sea has seen Russian exploration efforts previously including the drilling of two wells, both of which reportedly encountered encouraging shows of oil and gas.
Onshore, there has been little exploration to date, apart from efforts by the Korean Oil Exploration Corporation and also recently by Mongolia’s HBOil JSC (HBO). Among five main onshore sedimentary sub-basins, the largest is south of the capital; while unconfirmed reports point to a 1-trillion-cubic-foot (tcf) discovery in 2002.
Historically DPRK was thought to consist of five under-explored geological basins, the
• Pyongyang,
• Zaeryong,
• Anju-Onchon,
• Gilju-Myongchon and
• Sinuiju, Basins.
These basins are all located more or less along the coast, rather than inland. This also points to a certain degree of geological aptitude; as it’s much easier to explore along the more populated coast than it is to venture inland. There may be more hiding in the interior of the country, it’s just that no one’s looked as of yet. That’s difficult. Exploring along the coast is much easier.
With 3 basins supposedly proven to have working petroleum systems; 22 wells have been drilled and the majority are said to have encountered hydrocarbons with some wells testing production at 75 barrels of oil per day of light sweet crude oil. This has yet to be documented or confirmed by the Korea Oil Exploration Corp (KOEC), North Korea’s state-run oil company.
Yeah, our work was definitely cut out for us.
It was decided that a series of excursions offshore in one of the few remaining seaworthy, which was a real judgment call, KOEC seismic boats would be appropriate. The one we received use of was an old, decommissioned Chamsuri-class patrol boat, one Chamsuri-215(참수리-215), PKMR-215 in particular.
It had been basically stripped to the gunwales and completely retrofitted as a seismic acquisition and recording vessel. It had been renamed: “조선 민주주의 인민 공화국 영광” or “Glory of Democratic People's Republic of Korea Science”.
In reality, it was an aging rust-bucket piece of shit that might have possibly seen better days but wasn’t letting on. All the military nonsense, except the powder magazine, had been removed and a new superstructure consisting of slap-dash hunks of poorly-welded low-carbon, cold-rolled steel were erected to form a pilothouse in the area where the bridge once existed. They also built, extra haphazardly, a shooter’s room, galley, cold and wet storage areas, recording room, and storage of tapes and the extra bits and pieces needed for a none-too-extended stay on the sea. It was, being charitable, almost utilitarian.
They could not make their own water, so trip times were limited to about three days in length. Besides, they didn’t really have a hot galley, so it was cold, canned Chinese chow for the next 72 hours. They had a couple of fairly sturdy yardarms with heavy winches to handle the towed seismic arrays of geophones, which were of ancient heritage and showed it. These were probably appropriated back in the 80s or perhaps earlier when they first thought about opening their waters for seismic exploration.
They ‘borrowed’ most of the sensing and recording equipment back then from oilfield service companies and simply forgot to return it once finished. Since they burned that bridge so glowingly, they couldn’t get parts nor service when things failed. Being delicate seismic sensing and recording equipment, fail they did.
So, we had to use what was leftover, or what DPRK industries could cobble together, or what could be salvaged from salt-water drenched recording equipment that hadn’t been too heavily cared for over the span of the last 50 years.
We weren’t terribly optimistic.
So, we load the good ship ‘Rorrypop’, as Viv christened the thing, and head out to the wilds of the Yellow Sea. It was an abbreviated foreign crew, as there was really nothing other than upchuck and curse me soundly for insisting the non-geophysical scientists came along.
Aboard were the two geophysicists, naturally; Volna and Activ. I was there stick-handling the logistics and hoping to help out with the geophysical signal source explosives.
Morse and Cliff, the two other geologists accompanied us on the trip, and Dax decided to go with me as he figured I’d have access to the best booze no matter where we went.
The remainder of the team, the geochemists, Erlan and Ivan, the geomechanic, Iskren, the PT, Joon, and the two REs, Viv and Grako, remained behind onshore at the hotel. They set forth cataloging what data was available; from what sources, it’s vintage, veracity, and usefulness.
Augean tasks, both. Not as fecaliferous as Hercules’ jobs, but still, they held their own rations of shit for each sub-team.
Heading seaward, the Yellow Sea extends by about 960 km (600 mi) from north to south and about 700 km (430 mi) from east to west; it has an area of approximately 380,000 km² (150,000 mi²⁾ and a volume of about 17,000 km³ (4,100 mi^3).[4] Its depth is only 44 m (144 ft) on average, with a maximum of 152 m (499 ft). The sea is a flooded section of the continental shelf that formed during the Late Pleistocene (some 10,000 years ago) as sea levels rose 120 m (390 ft) to their current levels. The depth gradually increases from north to south. The sea bottom and shores are dominated by sand and silt brought by the rivers through the Bohai Sea and the Yalu River. These deposits, together with sand storms are responsible for the yellowish color of the water referenced in the sea's name.
Being shallow, the Yellow Sea is more perturbed by the frequent seasonal storms of the region. The area has cold, dry winters with strong northerly monsoons blowing from late November to April. I was told that the summers are wet and warm with frequent typhoons between June and October; but now all we had to contend with were swelling seas, spraying saltwater, waggling waves, and a shivering, shimmying ship.
All the navigation, communications and other shiply duties were being handled by both members of the DPRK Coast Guard Auxiliary, mostly older guys who were of great and high humorous jest; and an actual pleasure to be around. They were like their scientific cadre on this cruise, basically a political ‘give a shit’ attitude, and a desire to get the job done, smoke the American’s cigars and drink as much as we could get away with.
The scientific portion of the cruise was being undertaken by students of the various universities and members of the North Korean national oil company. The demeanors of these characters ranged from extremely earnest and stringently North Korean politically correct in the students and academicians, to a more relaxed ‘yeah, let’s just get the fucking job done so we can have a lot of drinks’ sort of view of the older members of the DPRK scientific team.
It was a fun admixture of cultures, ages, professions, and behaviors.
Oh, forgive me for forgetting to mention our ‘guides’, or handlers. They were also chosen, nay, ordered to come along. Landlubbers all, they were less than thrilled with the assignment and inevitable seasickness; which seemed endemic to those of Oriental extraction on the cruise. However, our guides did enjoy drinking. As we learned that alcohol is a central part of Korean culture, and they encouraged us to socialize with them when the time was appropriate.
Or, not appropriate, as I was being denounced by one of the geophysical students after only a few hours into our very first day. Hell, we weren’t even in the Yellow Sea proper. We started here at Pyongyang, down the Taedong River, over the Giva Dam, through Pushover, across Shmoeland, to the stronghold of Shmoe; into the very belly of the frothing Yellow Sea.
Most everyone, other than the foreign elements on board, were either making the trip in the bowels of the ship; nursing and cursing seasickness; or by rail, doing exactly the same thing.
“Chum it over the side, ya’ blinkered mucker!”, I admonished one bottle-greenish national. “This ain’t the Captain‘s mess, Chuckles. You have to clean up your own spew!”
I was reveling in getting back out on the water and regaining my sea legs. I never get seasick.
Never.
Ever.
Be it a seismic vessel in the heaving Arctic Ocean, a pirogue in the swamps of Louisiana, my cousin’s fishin’ johnboat back in northern Baja Canada, a US nuclear submarine under the permanent pack ice of the North Pole, or VLCC in the Straits of Somaliland; I just don’t get seasick.
Airsick? Nah. Carsick? Nope. Ready to puke in a Hind-20 over the Caspian Sea during a strong local thunderstorm? Close, but no cigar.
So, I’m doing a Titanic scene recreation. Up in the very bow of the craft, standing in stark defiance of the gusting winds and blowing salt spray, smoking a huge cigar, and totting out of one of my emergency flasks while trying to hang on to my Stetson. I am also endeavoring to remain upright, field vest and really, really ghastly Hawaiian shirt billowing in the breeze.
I’m not certain if it was the cigar smoke, the wind-whipped beard, and hair, the give a fuck attitude, or the flapping of the Hawaiian shirt to which the little local geophysicist objected. But he was pissed. Olive-green with seasickness, rubber-kneed but still standing a good social-distance away, reading me the riot act in high-pitched Korean.
As I usually do in such delicate situations, I just smile and wave. Show them I’m mostly harmless and they either cool down or get pissed off even more and stomp off in disgust.
Either one was a winning situation for me in my book.
So, I return to doing my ship’s figurehead imitation and revel in the wind, spray, and feeling of really being booming. Sure, some might complain of the cold, but not me, the sting of the salt-spray or the windburn; but I eschew what most people enjoy as ‘normal weather’. I live for pushing the boundaries. I love rough weather and situations that thrust the edge of the envelope further past normalcy.
Besides, we were still in sight of land. Hell, if everything went south at this very minute, one could practically walk back to shore. I can hardly wait to see what these wigglers will do if a night storm comes up when were 100 or more kilometers from land.
The boat’s thrumming heavily from both the thrust of the Soviet-era diesel engines and the craft’s bludgeoning its way through the waves. Most hull designs are so the ship will ‘cut’ through the surface waters. This craft’s flattened trihedral hull design didn’t so much ‘cut’, as ‘slam’ it’s way through. The boat would then crash up one side and smash down the other of each large wave we encountered. The boat would shudder whole, adding a new note of resonance along with the monotonous one-note song of the aged Russian diesels.
The spray would fly, the boat would convulse, time would seem to freeze until we bashed into the next wave. The captain of the vessel took his orders very seriously. “Get to coordinates XXX and YYY by the most expedient means possible.” If that meant charging, full-throttle into the teeth of the oncoming monsoon-force wind while we were traversing the worst kelp jungle I’ve seen this side of the Sargasso Sea; well, piss on it, full steam ahead.
“Fuck it”, I thought, “Not my pony, not my show. Let’s see how this plays out.” While I light a new cigar and search for Emergency Flask #2.
After I’d been upbraided by the geophysical student for transgressions still unknown, Cliff and Dax wander out to ask me what the hell I was up to.
“Have you gone completely barmy?”, Cliff asked. “It’s a full gale out here and you’re standing in the teeth of it like it was a warm, sunny Sunday in Piccadilly.”
“Nope, not at all”, I replied, “Just reveling in the delights of an angry atmosphere.”
“He’s nuts, I told you”, Dax smirked, “He’d go anywhere and do anything to have a cigar.”
“Not just a cigar, me old mucker”, I smiled and waved my second emergency flack under his nose.
“Figures”, they both respond in unison.
Dax departs and returns mere seconds later with paper Dixie-style cups he liberated from the ship’s one head. We are going to do our very best to extend the lifetime of the onboard water supply for our scientific and military friends. I pour them each a cup full.
“Whoa, Doc”, that’s gotta be 100 milliliters!” Cliff objects.
“As the Siberian saying goes: One hundred versts, roughly a hundred miles, is no distance. A hundred rubles isn't worthwhile money. And a hundred grams of vodka just makes you thirsty. Prosit!” I say in reply.
We retire to the overhang on the fantail of the boat. It’s a sunshade and keeps the worst of the weather out for the lightweights on the cruise. I decided we’d withdraw there to keep these Dominionites out of the worst of the wind and sea spray.
“Rock”, Cliff notes, “You are a complete throwback. You do not belong here in the 21st century. You need to find a way back to the Calabrian and ride herd on the continental Neanderthals. Give them the gift of distilling and tobacco agriculture, and you’d reframe the world.”
Dax agrees, but notes if I do find a way back, he and Cliff would be selected against.
“Good point”, Cliff agrees. “Rock, stay here. We need your expertise now more than ever. Plus your ready supply of strong drink and cigars.”
“Glad to know that I’m truly appreciated around these parts.” I chuckled slightly acridly.
“Ah, Rock. Buck up. You know we’re only takin’ a piss.” Cliff says.
“Aim it starboard. Don’t want it blowin’ all over the seismic gear”, I reply, laughingly.
The trip continued, and I found a not-bolted-to-the-deck chair and moved it outside under the shade back by the boat’s fantail. I refreshed my emergency flasks and replenished my cigar supply. I’m not about to sit inside and listen to the wails and gnashing of teeth of the landlubber crowd, the patter and timor of the geophysical throng as they titter and argue about array design, nor the military hut-hutting all over the fucking boat.
A couple of times, one or more of our ‘handlers’ would venture out as I had the only supply of readily available smokeables and drinkables. Oh, we had food, lots of beer, soju, some knock-off vodka, and some of that faux homebrew bourbon for later once the workday was declared over; but for now, I was the one and only dispensary.
We’d have some random chats while they screwed up their courage to ask me for a smoke or a tot of drink. I brought several bundles of really cheap-ass cigars for just such occasions; besides, I figured one of my Camacho triple-maduros would have them chumming for the remainder of the trip. I had also many, many cartons of Sobranie pastel-colored cigarettes, and many more cartons of knock-off Marlboros I bought at the duty-free when we hit town.
It was chucklingly funny to see these harsh, military, no-nonsense characters walking their duty beats smoking pastel green, lavender, and mauve cigarettes.
We got bogged down a couple of times when one or more of the ship’s twin screws fouled with kelp as we tried to put some distance between us and the shore. Each time, one really dejected low-ranking young Coast Guard character would go over the side with a rope around his waist and a knife in his hand to free the props. I was going to object as this was moronically dangerous; but, again, not my pony, not my show. This called for full proper tethering and SCUBA gear.
They had neither aboard.
Welcome to the wonders of a centrally planned economy.
To be continued.

Hey, I do a bunch of world building and homebrew for the campaign I run for my friends, and I figured I'd share it if anyone wants to use it.
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The Undercity? Yeah, it’s dangerous! You’ve got the redcap goblins, they aren’t much a danger by themselves, but they’ll give ya a hell of a time if a group gets you alone don’t you know? The Coldwrought clan moved down there some decades ago of course, and then… well, I don’t believe it myself of course, but they say stone giants still wander around down there. Gives me the shivers!
-Elsta Barrlow
The Undercity of Kol Taram is a city that was never meant to be: it exists in a massive drainage system built to protect Kol Taram above from spring melts from the nearby River of Colors. Across the Fallen Bridge on the other side of the cavernous drain channel, stone giants live a secluded life. The Coldwrought Crime Clan rules the Undercity with an iron fist, based out of their hotel/dungeon “The Dark Hive.”
Woven between these dangers (and so many more) there are, of course, wonderous things, too: Yawmbo, the bugbear keeper of The Dark Hive, can acquire near anything you need; Cadence Clearwater, the skinny, high-strung tiefling can craft a specialized tattoo that allows anyone to summon a familiar; within the simple lean-to that Kev the Kenku has an assortment of interesting items plucked from the streets, amongst them the odd thing of interest.
The Undercity Always Flows
Many have tried to map The Undercity, but nobody has yet succeeded. Due to the violent, and untrusting nature of many of the denizens, The Undercity is constantly tearing areas down, and building anew. A night doesn’t pass without at least two incidents of arson, and any especially loud squabbles that border on riots result in the stone giants across the Broken Bridge lobbing boulders amongst the city which also result in frequent “re-zonings.”
The best way to orient yourself to The Undercity are to look for the towering, 10-story high pillars that serve as both buildings and anchors to a fluid city.

• The Glowing Pillar
• A Pillar of the People
• The Goblin Gables
• The Statuary
• The Dark Hive Pillar
• The Pillar of Stairs

While there are many other structures outside of these super-structures built to support the weight of a mountain, most major buildings congregate around them.
The Ring of Rejects
The Undercity was not meant to be inhabited, but once The Squall began to rage, and a permanent winter has set in, there is no chance that the River of Colors will flood. Those not of dwarven descent often found that Kol Taram was a place they could never thrive, and many found their ways, by exile or by choice, to this so-called sixth ring, the Ring of Rejects.
The Broken Bridge
The only support structure to have ever fallen within the drainage system has left a massive, 100’ wide bridge of uneven and broken stones across the 120’ deep drainage ditch. Across it lives, hidden by piled boulders, a small hermitage of stone giants… or so the legend goes. The Broken Bridge is said to be their method of assault, should the violence in The Undercity ever spill over.
Refugees of Kol Taram
After Kienscale was awoken, and Kol Taram sacked, many of the citizens who knew of the Undercity and the methods to reach it, left the city through this dangerous route. Some lost their lives, most their possessions, and few chose to stay. Those few form around The Glowing Pillar, the mages of The Bearded Consortium dispelling whatever errant arcana had caused the faint light to radiate out from it, allowing the displaced dwarves to fashion out a makeshift fortress. There, elements of The Stoneguard gather, training the remaining citizens and gathering allies to eventually take back their city.
Controlled Anarchy
There are no set laws in The Undercity, save the unspoken, universal threat of the stone giants that might again assault the city should it grow too riotous. The Stoneguard keep order around the areas of The Glowing Pillar, and The Coldwrought Clan has enforcers keeping the money flowing and outside influences in check. The Goblin Gabbles is thoroughly ridden with goblins, who obey their own laws, a strange and violent pecking order that keeps their infighting at a steady level, and their threat to the city as a whole limited.
A Dark City
The Undercity features prominently races with darkvision, so aside from The Glowing Pillar and the Pillar of Stairs, there are not frequent sources of light. Those that do dot the inns, streets, and doorways of homes tend to be gas lamps turned to their lowest setting, or sweet, earthy Smolderwart, a pale white moss that burns for hours with a faint light and fragrant smoke.
Guide to the Undercity
I lived in the Ring of Copper once, you know? Me, a fat greenskinned goblin! No matter how good I became as a smith, it became obvious I’d never be more than skilled labor.
So I moved, moved to the Undercity. Every day, death lurks, maybe not nearby, but around every corner you smell him: a feral, red cap’s knife or maybe one of the Lumare’s creepy hands around your neck; but when nobody pretends to like you, it’s a lot easier down here to know who to trust.
-Miggblin, owner of Miggblin’s Custom Bladework.
The danger of The Undercity, especially to humans and the aarakocra, cannot be understated. That said, outside the Coldwrought Clan, deception is not often practiced: this is a place where the sword will often prevail over the pen.
The Natives
The Ring of Stone is already within the realm of The Underdark, and The Undercity serves as a place for its citizens and those from the service to mingle. These places were not always occupied by sentient races: before Kol Taram came to be, the cavernous dark was occupied by hideous creatures dreamed into existence by a beholder in the Second Age. Thriving amongst the dark and deadly hellscape of this underdark were the Lumare, grey-skinned humanoids, more spindly than graceful, with unnaturally flexible joints which cause them to have a strange, exaggerated gait, and the ability to easily scale the stony walls of the underdark. Nearly wiped out by dragons, and again when The Undercity boomed into existence after the defeat of the Parroa Rebellion, they hold a place of awe and respect, even amongst the rabble of The Undercity. They are said to be able to read minds, and know your actions before you do.
The rest of the creatures that belong to The Old Ones are less beloved, and wandering too far into the dark nooks of the city may find you face to face with them:
Wandering Old Ones
d4
Result
1
Dreamcrawler: Crawling along the walls, ceilings, and under bridges, these hands with bony, exposed, skeletal tips for scratching. (CR ½)
2
Fearwalker: Eyeless, bipedal humanoids with long, hooked ears, exaggerated mouths, and a taste for fear. They stalk the frightened, lost souls that wander into their domains. (CR 3)
3
Shadowstare: A flat creature of shadow that clings to a wall or under a shelf, though when it’s one massive eye opens it can be as dangerous as any beholder’s gaze. (CR: 5)
4
Zombie Beholder: (CR: 5)
Spellcasting Services
There are not many spellcasters in The Undercity, as the red cap goblins have a superstitious fear of magic, and they tend to target magic-users with more murderous intent than others. As such, there are no established spellcrafting services. The Bearded Consortium has powerful mages, but they are geared toward returning Kol Taram to its former standing; the Purple Terror who lurks in the city above keeps them wary.
Living and Lifestyles in The Undercity
‘Poverty’ is an easy term to toss around within the Undercity: many of the abodes are squalid, temporary structures of pitiful design. This can be deceiving, however, as The Undercities denizens are loath to show off anything of value. These items, beautiful or rare or expensive, are carried on one’s person, or hidden carefully away. As such, it is hard to determine a person’s real wealth.
Education and Learning
Due to the transient nature of The Undercities populace, traditional schools aren’t common. The Undercity is no place for children. Within the Kol Taram garrison, safe in the halls of the Glowing Pillar, dwarvish children resume lessons under the direction of Headmaster Heurd Rocknose. There are rumors of a Lumare training ground somewhere deeper within The Underdark called The Alabaster Terrace, where the Lumare hone their unique abilities, though none have seen it. Most who call themselves “lifers” who were born and raised in The Undercity take on apprenticeships.
Shopping
There are no markets or centers of commerce, though what stores do exist tend to cluster close to, or within, the massive pillars that support the cavernous roof of the space The Undercity occupies. The Washed Market outside of The Dark Hive may be the only exception: under careful watch of Coldwrought enforcers, an open-air black market, a warren of tables, takes place on every Wednesday. Nothing living is to be sold but narcotics, stolen jewelry, historical artifacts, unsavory meats, and dark secrets can be found. While outright violence is not tolerated, the Coldwrought Clan does not concern itself with petty theft, and will take no action against thievery.
Tax Day
There is not a tradition of open celebration of holidays within The Undercity. The only “special” day is Tax Day, which can happen at strange intervals but usually once or twice a month. On this day, Couldwrought enforcers spread across the Undercity in groups, beating up locals who cannot pay for their “taxes.”
Sports and Games
The Undercity does attract it’s fair share of gamblers and unsavory types that are happy to make a quick copper at another’s expense. The Dark Hive features poker tables, Bluffer’s Cup, and for those with the pieces, a private Gragram room.
Gragram
An ancient dwarvish game that requires pieces scattered across the northern parts of Dominion, lost with the falls of two of the original citadels. Those who can find pieces will bet on fighting them with others; the pieces are enchanted, and can do harm only to each other; the pieces rebuild themselves after one day.
Bluffer’s Cup
Each player has three tiles: the shield, the sword, and the hand. It is a rocks, paper, scissors with betting and deception involved.
The Square of Might
Operated by The Coldwrought Clan, The Square of Might is a small fighting arena with two tiers of seatings. Fights may be arranged, with the loser being paid, the winner being paid more, and the house taking most. Fights are not typically to the death, but True Boughts are fought to the death.
People of Prominence
There is no recognized government, or set of laws outside of the unspoken ones that seem universal within the Undercity. Instead, there are people of prominence whose spheres of influence have shaped the behaviors of those around them.
d6
Person
1
Yawmbo - A bugbear with oiled and styled hair brushed back across the fine black vest he wears over a brown-furred torso, Yawmbo speaks little, but is surprisingly intelligent. He works as a broker, and can obtain most things for players, in return for them completing tasks for the Coldwrought Clan, though this is never explicitly stated.
2
Chief Schneek - At 24, Schneek is ancient by goblin standards. He is blind now, but could once read the fortune of the Undercity using rat bones. He despises magic users, such as The Hidden Hag, who he blames for taking his site. His eyes are made of stone.
3
High Mage Wucrut Coalbeard - 322, Wucrut is a chauvinist, old-guard High Mage who resents the introduction of women to the Bearded Consortium. He is a powerful evocation mage, and proved himself in the Battle of Skaar against the Fire Giant Legion.
4
The Hidden Hag - Deep within The Statuary Pillar, amongst its hallways of petrified humanoids, shifting living statues, resides a pale, veiled woman known as The Hidden Hag. None have seen her face, though rumors speak of looking upon her resulting in the many statues around her abode. She keeps to herself, but hers is the only pillar with a good radius of emptiness around it.
5
The Stalker - The lone Lumare who makes permanent residence behind The Stalker’s Perch. He is quiet, speaks few words, but communicates mostly through his eyes. His insight is unparalleled, and he hunts down those who would cause particular trouble in the streets of The Undercity.
6
Dorgram Coldwrought, Patriarch of the Coldwrought Clan - The most dangerous man in The Undercity, Dorgram Coldwrought is 121, and has been groomed from birth to run the Coldwrought Clan. He is merciless, speaks slowly, but his words have great gravity. He always wears dull navy gloves with gold cappings around the knuckles, and around one eye is heavily tattooed to make it appear as if the flesh is peeling away to reveal bone.
Holy Places
The Undercity is a place that slows for freedom of worship, and nowhere is that more obvious than the Madruuc Lambus, undercommon for “Market of Gods.” Dug into the ground itself, a cave-like series of shafts and small caverns dedicated to the many gods that others worship. Less crime happens here, as those who defile a chamber of a deity are likely to find trouble with their followers.
Within the boundaries of The Glowing Pillar and Fort Taram that has risen up to house the dwarven refugees of Kol Taram, there is a simple stone church known as “Last Hearth,” a simple place to keep the flame of the Dawnfather’s Horizon Cathedral burning while the city is under siege.
Just outside of the city, in a cave that requires spider climb to access, there is a large altar designated for Lolth, and many drow slip away in secret to worship here.
A City of Factions
The huge, 100’ wide pillars that support the weight of Mount Taram above this system of gargantuan drains generally form the center points for factions, though not always. To call any of these groups outside of The Coldwrought Clan and the Red Cap Goblins organized is a stretch, but each of these groups has the resources, manpower, or prestige to lay claim to at least a small slice of The Undercity.
The Shadow Scavs
The Undercity was born of need; those who could never find a place amongst the elitist dwarves above, moved to a place where they could rise up as high as any other. Many did not wish to move below, however, bought south the help of those in dark places to get materials restricted to them. These people came to be known as The Shadow Scavengers, or Shadowscavs for short.
They are a motley group of thieves, smugglers, and fences with the occasional use of Autis, a warforged enforcer usually hidden beneath a large jacket and hat, to protect magical items. Their symbol is a pair of crossed, upside down pickaxes.
Ally Benefits:
- Material costs for smithing-related projects are reduced by 15%
- You may purchase the Rat Tunnels map from any Shadowscav leader for 10gp
Stoneguard
A small contingent of Stoneguard, the law keeping force and military of Kol Taram above, escorted refugees down to the Undercity. They currently man Fort Taram, the Gateway Garrison, and a small defensive position outside of The Pillar of Stairs to safeguard against any scouts from the invasion above.
They are hardy warriors, with stone-coated half-plate and either two-handed mauls or one-handed war-hammers and shields. Their leader is The Stonewarden, Vaddarus, a younger male dwarf who always plays it safe.
Ally Benefits:
- You may be accompanied by a Stoneguard about the boundaries of the Undercity if you wish. They will provide you with some protection from the Red Cap goblins and various other entities.
- Access to the Stoneguard Armory, which sells basic armor and weapons at 10% off the base market price.
The Coldwrought Clan
Of all the factions in the Undercity, The Couldwrought Clan is the most powerful and the most dangerous. The actual family members of the Coldwrought Clan number maybe two dozen, but they employ countless other dwarves, goblins, kenku, drow, and anyone else willing to back their clan up for the price of a little gold.
Led by Dorgram Coldwrought, the family patriarch, they grow wealth with hidden desires to take back the citadel above that cast them down.
Ally Benifts:
- You can hire a Coldwrought Enforcer at the price of 5gp a day.
- You may stay at The Dark Hive free of charge, with one fine meal per day included.
The Bearded Consortium
Once one of the two primary powers within Kol Taram, The Bearded Consortium has stood for 500 years as a men-only convocation of powerful magic users, primarily wizards. They are powerful evocation magic users, but have flaunted more political power than actual magic in recent centuries.
In a large upset of tradition, with the fall of Kol Taram, Zelga Stonestaf, a female dwarf, has been made a full member. In this time of desperation, many welcome to powerful, blunt woman who wears a porcelain mask.
Ally Benefits:
- -10% to all components needed for a spell tagged as evocation.
- Access to the Consortium Militia armory, where scrolls of spell levels 1-3 can be purchased, at the DMs discretion.
The Six Great Pillars
As said before, the easiest way to break up the ever-shifting mass of humanoids that make up The Undercity is by the most proximate Great Pillar to their location.
The pillars themselves have been carved and built into over time, with the Goblin Gabbles being the most haphazardly worked and porous-looking, and the Pillar of Stairs being the most well-kept. It’s difficult to break down the pillar neighborhoods in terms of economic lines, but those who live within The Dark Hive tend to be very wealthy; those who live around the People’s Pillar count themselves as the most squalid in an already poor town.
Getting Around
While The Undercity is not massive in terms of it’s horizontal footprint, many of the pillars have carved stairs, and ascend stories into the dark with warrens, housing, and even small shops for those who know where to look. While it takes no more than two hours to walk from end-to-end, climbing to the top of The People’s Pillar may take nearly a day for those unfamiliar. As a general rule of thumb:

• It takes approximately 30 minutes to walk from one pillar’s neighborhood to the next.
• Climbing a Pillar takes approximately 15 minutes a story once it’s familiar to a traveler.

Statuary Pillar Locations
Place
Description
The Stoneyard
A church-like building of old casketwood, and fenced in areas of earth where the dead are interred. The Stoneyard is a gravesite that is backset by the Statuary, and even features statues scavenged from within the Statuary pillar itself. Part of the trio of reputedly haunted buildings that make up Quarry Row.
The Gentle Repose
At one time, The Repose was a beautiful structure, built to house the noble Clan Grandcrest who all succumbed to madness. The one beautiful, Victorian-style home has now been transformed into a hotel, of sorts, though ghosts can frequently be seen walking through walls to different rooms.
Goblin Gables Locations
Place
Description
Deek’s Cart
Every Wednesday, Deek, a meek, skittish goblin, will bring a wheelbarrow-sized cart of belongings stolen by the Red Cap goblins to the Dark Market, but those in the know will tell you that Deek lives under the Goblin Gables. He even deals directly with the Shadowscavs.
Pillar of the People Locations
Place
Description
Bloodworm Farm
One of the few edible things deep underground that grow readily are blood worms, each about four inches long and the width of a middle finger. They are protein rich and taste very iron-heavy. They are grown in troughs, and eat both dead organic matter and rust.
Commoner’s Infirmary
A large tent, similar to a circus tent, though its slowly become a more permanent fixture in The People’s Pillar neighborhood. It is a field hospital, with a limited supply of medicine and an even more limited number of people trained in the healing arts.
Mudbath House
The earthy, deep pits of thermally heated mud. For an added fee, they can even properly wash after.
The Glowing Pillar Locations
Place
Description
Ireworks
The single forge now operates on behalf of the Taram Resistance. It expands slowly but surely, all the wire pumping out armor and weapons night and day.
Kevin
Kevin is a kenku who has set up a tent on the outskirts of The Glowing Pillar neighborhood. Most of what he has is junk, but now and then, he seems to come by a treasure or two.
Undercut
A general store that sells damaged and broken goods well below market price.
Rois Quarry
A large, three layer deep quarry for mining grey granite for bricks.
The Bleedin’ Stout
Named for its signature drink, The Bleedin’ Stout is a traditional dwarvish drinking hall, with a large chandelier, and features a sort of bloodworm pasta with a red pepper sauce that burns the iron flavor right out.
The Training Yard
Amidst the buildings of Fort Taram, there is a large stone courtyard dedicated to 24-hour combat exercises.
The Dark Hive Locations
Place
Description
The Dark Hive
The Dark Hive itself is one party casino, one part sprawling hotel/dungeon that houses The Coldwrought Clan’s interests. On the fifth story of the tower is the Coldwrought Apartments, where the crime family lives, and deals with their top clients.
The Dark Market
Under careful watch from the Coldwrought enforcers, every Wednesday sees a large
Square of Might
To the west of the pillar proper, perhaps ten minutes walk, is a large, iron cube. There are vents on the top, which allow steam from the gathered crowd to escape. Within, there are seats for roughly 60 people, and a raised marble square where organized fights take place.
The Gourmand’s Kitchen
This small, eight-seat establishment operates within Coldwrought territory, and provides one meal a week, every Friday Night. It is highly exclusive, and few know what occurs within these walls… there are rumors that many of the items on the menu are harvested from the streets of The Undercity and beyond...
Further, due to the nature of The Undercity (violent and volatile) many shops rise and fall quickly, or change locations. The following merchants may be located anywhere within The Undercity, or not at all, at the DM’s discretion.
d6
Merchant
1
The Shoddy Scholar - A small shop filled with second-hand books piled on every available surface. Run by the deep gnome Gildroby Middleweasle who knows exactly where every title is, and exactly what's in stock. Specializes in fiction.
2
Feathered Lands - A tiny store, with a single drafting table, a desk, and a few shelves of rolled up, large, scrolls. Mi-Zhan, a middle-aged drow woman shaved bald, though constantly fussing with her head, can create and provide maps of Underdark locations.
3
Hchvat Marganum - Infernal for “Blown Glass”, Hchvat Marganum is just that: a glass blower. Owned by the tiefling Partillin, proud and sarcastic, it can produce glass of master quality.
4
Liquid Courage - A medium-sized Inn of a poor quality. Ownership frequently changes (at least once a week), resulting in odd, mis-matched decor.
5
The All Sleeper’s Domain - A medium-sized tent with comfortable pillows piled throughout. 10gp will get you a pleasant dose of Dreamer’s Stick, a minty, chewy reed that can induce a hallucinatory dream state. Many can’t quite remember where they’ve left all their things when they leave.
6
Cadence’s Tattoo Parlor - Always moving, the rapid-speaking, stream-of-consciousness speaking tiefling, Cadence Clearwater runs a tattoo parlor wherever somebody can track her down. She specializes in a tattoo that can summon a semi-spectral familiar (1,000gp, plus the ashes of 10gp worth of incense, herbs, and charcoal.) once per day.
Dungeons of The Undercity
The Undercity, by its very nature, might be considered a dungeon, depending on your disposition and willingness to overlook rampant violence. However, there are areas in both the developed pillar communities and the surrounding caverns that present particularly perilous settings.
The Statuary
Though the hag who is rumored to wander the halls of the pillar known as The Statuary has expressed nothing more than a desire to be left alone, the statues that dot the hallways, rooftop, and even surrounding The Statuary itself, were all adventurers, criminals, or sight-seekers who ignored her wishes and sought the various treasures said to remain from the Drow military outfit that used to inhabit the tower. The pillar itself was designed to be defended, with a pair of staircases twisting around each other through the center, visible to each level that passes. Not all statues remain still, either; gargoyles, mimics, and ropers all take residence here.
Stone Giant Settlement
Behind large piles of stones that obscure the settlement proper from the other side of the Broken Bridge, are massive steps that lead to a sunken-in portion of earth, hiding the true height of the giant’s large community-structure: similar to a pyramid, though each brick features fine linework to give the entire thing the appearance of being made my miniature stones. Within lives a small community of stone giants, who call themselves Draj-Larc, “The Dark Dwellers” in giantese. They live a quiet, secluded life, and seek to elevate their home to even finer heights, the leader chosen every 500 days by who has provided the most improvement to their lair.
The Dark Hive
An appropriate name for a complex, five-story-high maze of apartments, functional rooms, workshops, and storage areas. The Coldwrought Clan runs the entire structure, though as it expands ever-upward, even they don’t know the true extent of the pillar’s workings anymore. Many of those missing from the uneven streets of The Undercity still live (in the better scenarios) within The Dark Hive. Past the first level, which is largely a dark, smokey casino, intruders will be met with fierce resistance from the Coldwrought Clan and those in their employ. The complex nature of The Dark Hive does carry with it one advantage: There are no means to sound an effective alarm outside of a very localized area.

Thursday, October 17th, 2019:

• Twenty One Pilots (10/17)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMYThe Bandits Tour, Special Guests - Misterwives$95, Mohegan Sun Arena, 8:00PM

​
Friday, October 18th, 2019:

• Harwinton Halloween FestivalDarkside Entertainment Presents: “The Rise of The Green Lady” A haunting, legendary, family experience this October 18-20th & 25th-27th @ The Harwinton Fairgrounds! This fall, as the nights draw longer and the cool damp fog settles over the grounds, discover the excitement, fear, and surprises which await. Step on our grounds (if you dare!) for nothing with free parking included. Experience free Hayride shuttles, free admission, the Largest Fall Food Truck Festival in New England, carnival rides, and of course, The Green Lady's Haunted House of Horror$5.00-$15.00, Fri, Oct 18 – Sun, Oct 20, 9pmHarwinton Fairgrounds, 150 Locust Rd, Harwinton, CT
• Haunted Trail at Harrybrooke*Be prepared to be scared! Follow a self-guided trail that winds through darkness and woods by the Still River, and through the haunted basement of the museum. Wear comfortable shoes. This is a scary event, and may not be appropriate for younger children (under 8 years old), or individuals with physical restrictions. Enter at your own risk. Concessions available.*$10, 6:00PM-10:00PM64 Lanesville Road, New Milford, CT 06776
• TOTOhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaYGrand Theater at Foxwoods Resort Casino$25-$45, 350 Trolley Line Blvd. Mashantucket, CT 06338
• Science Straight UP! & Spooktacular Science Weekend @ The CT Science Center*Join us for Hartford’s Smartest Happy Hour as we explore Climate Change. Whether you are a climate change expert, curious, or somewhere in between, you will love the fun entertainment, refreshing cocktails, and peer-networking with an environmental twist. See how local organizations are making a difference on a global level and explore our NEW permanent exhibition “Our Changing Earth” after-hours in a kid-free environment.The Connecticut Science Center will get a little spooky and a little kooky for our annual Spooktacular Science Weekend! Have a ball at the ultimate Halloween party. Meet Mal and Evie from the Descendants, join the Baby Shark Bubble Dance Party, and see our stunning new exhibition, Our Changing Earth. Enjoy a Hocus Pocus sing along with the Sanderson Sisters and spooky surprises throughout the day.*Oct 18-20, $5 -$23.95250 Columbus Blvd. Hartford, CT 06103
• Haunted: Victorian Ghost Stories at the Mansion – Halloween Tours*Victorians were known for their riveting ghost stories and Gothic horror. From Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Body Snatcher to Oscar Wilde’s The Canterville Ghost, readers in the 19th century were deeply engrossed in dark tales from the other side. In keeping with this Victorian fascination with unexplained phenomena, the Lockwood-Mathews Mansion Museum’s Halloween tours will focus on ghost sightings as they relate to the house during the 19th century as well as its more recent history, and the compelling ghost stories that are part of Connecticut’s legends.*Oct 18-27, $10295 West Avenue, Norwalk, CT 06850
• 11th Annual Cove Side Carnival*Rides, food, games and more, right in the heart of one of the largest historic district and location of the famously inspired Witch of Blackbird Pond. Come for the history, stay for the fun! See flyer for more! High-energy thrill rides and rides just for children Also, food, games, and entertainment. A portion of the proceeds will go to support the Wethersfield Food Bank.*Oct 18-20, FREEWethersfield Cove Park, 176 Hartford Ave. Wethersfield, CT 06109
• Jurassic Quest!*Jurassic Quest is America’s largest and most realistic Dinosaur event. Our guests will walk through the Cretaceous period, the Jurassic Period and The Triassic period and experience for themselves what it was like to be among dinosaurs of all kinds. Jurassic Quest is the only dinosaur event that has true to life size dinosaurs. From the very small, to the gigantic, sky-scraping dinosaurs that can only be seen at our events, Jurassic Quest has over 80 true-to-life size dinosaurs in each of its two touring shows. In collaboration with leading paleontologists, each dinosaur was painstakingly replicated in every detail. Whether their prehistoric counterpart had skin that was scaly, had feathers or fur, Jurassic Quest has spared no expense in bringing this realism to life.*Oct 18-20, $25-$41Connecticut Convention Center, 100 Columbus Blvd, Hartford, CT 06103
• Museum Children Free Week*The White Memorial Foundation and Conservation Center is located in the Towns of Litchfield and Morris in northwestern Connecticut. Created in 1913 by Alain C. White and his sister, May W. White, the Foundation and Center today comprise 4,000 acres of forest, fields and wetlands. Visitors will find: 40 miles of trails, a nature museum, the Bantam river and shoreline, & more!*Oct 1 - Nov 5, FREE, 9am-5pmWhite Memorial Conservation Center, 80 Whitehall Rd. Litchfield, CT 06759
• Yale Mineral & Gem Symposium 2019*The main session, on Saturday, Oct. 19 from 8:15 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., will feature eight talks by prominent mineral experts. Michael T. Bycroft of the University of Warwick (England) will present the keynote address on the topic of “Gems and the Scientific Revolution.” Friday night’s session will feature a talk at 5 p.m., followed by a reception from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.*Oct 18-20, $75-$100Yale Peabody Museum of Natural History, 170 Whitney Ave, New Haven CT, 06511
• Glastonbury Apple Fest 2019The Glastonbury Apple Harvest & Music Festival features two stages of live music with 28+ local & touring artists, a full midway of amusement rides, 100+ craft vendors, 25+ food trucks/purveyors, a fully stocked Harvest Pub, and the Angry Orchard 5K Road Race on the festival’s closing day. The festival is proudly presented by the CT River Valley Chamber of Commerce. Located at a bend of the Connecticut River, the Apple Harvest Festival and 5K Race has continually been ranked as one of the state’s most popular events. It’s an all-around experience that generations revisit year after yearOct 18-20, FREERiverfront Park, 300 Welles St, Glastonbury, CT

Saturday, October 19th, 2019:

• Grand Funk Railroadhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8MYsii4DZYWolf Den @ Mohegan Sun, 8:00PM, FREE
• Dane Cookhttps://youtu.be/0iIsgzdDS3I *- Tell it like it is tour!*Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, 8:00PM$29-$59
• 4th Annual Chalk Art Festival*Enjoy a day of art and entertainment in celebration of the local community in the heart of downtown New Haven and Yale University. The Shops at Yale invites all professional and amateur artists, students, and artist groups to participate in the 4th Annual New Haven Chalk Art Festival on Saturday, October 19. The Shops at Yale will provide exclusive offers to retailers and restaurants, raffles, giveaways and more! This event is free and open to the public. Rain date, October 20.*12pm - 4pm, FREEThe Shops at Yale, Chapel Street and Broadway, New Haven, Connecticut 06511
• Manchester Beer Festival*This event is being hosted by the MMNT Foundation and is open to the public. The Manchester Beer Fest will raise money for local veteran organizations, the Curtis D. Robinson Center for Health Equity, and scholarships to local graduating seniors. The Manchester Beer Fest will feature food trucks, unlimited samples (with a ticket) and a wide variety of beers from local CT breweries.*12pm - 5pm, $2515 Purnell Pl, Manchester, CT 06040
• CT Pet Expo 2019*The Family Pet Shows are designed to educate and entertain the public about the wonderful World of pets. It promotes responsible pet ownership and care in a fun filled family event. There are demonstrations and special attractions such as high flying Frisbee dogs, Reptile and bird shows, and much more. Attractions might vary by the venue. There is an outstanding venue of pet products and services for you to buy as well as pet adoptions.*10am - 4pm, $4-$11XL Center, 1 Civic Center Plaza, Hartford, Connecticut, 06103
• Harvest Market & Dog Costume Parade*The Fairfield Harvest Market features 80 vendors offering artwork, crafts, pet products, jewelry, upcycled and rustic furniture, home décor items, and beauty products. Food trucks and vendors from the weekly Fairfield Farmer’s Market will be there too.*10am-4pm, FREEHistoric Old Town Hall Green in Fairfield, 611 Old Post Road, Fairfield, CT 06824
• Let's Go Birding Together*Fall migration is upon us and it’s beautiful outside! Join us for a special celebration of inclusion and take a leisurely walk through the fields and woods of Greenwich Audubon Center to learn about the many colorful birds that live here. We will also spend time watching for migrating hawks, eagles and falcons at the center's Quaker Ridge Hawk Watch. Our “Let's Go Birding Together” (LGBT) walk is for anyone who enjoys community, adventure, and wants to get outdoors! We welcome those who identify as LGBTQ, allies, families, and anyone who wants to enjoy an outdoor experience that is fun and inclusive.*9am-12pm, $5-$8Greenwich Audubon Center, Greenwich, 06831
• Dinner in the Dark*Our primary fundraiser for the year, this event is a true culinary adventure! You will enjoy a gourmet dinner while wearing a blindfold, and we keep the menu secret. Come learn about the exciting ways we are working to transform the lives of those without sight. Be prepared for a unique sensory adventure, good food, fun, and dancing to live music!*5:30pm, $150 - $2,020Mystic Marriott Hotel & Spa, 625 North Road, Groton, CT 06340
• Goats N' PajamasOct 19 & 26, Every Sat of the month*Come with your family to put the herd to bed, cuddle with your favorite goat, and experience pure silliness together. You will be brushing the goats, feeding them, and putting pajamas, tutus, and other costumes on the goats. We will take some of the goats on a walk in the good weather, or will have a coloring contest for all ages if the weather is cold or rainy. We will end the night with a goat cuddle session and feeding the whole herd hay as their Good Night snack. We will be available to take digital pictures from your camera or ours. All ages are welcome!*6pm, $15Bradley Mountain Farm, 537 Shuttle Meadow Road, Southington, CT 06489
• You Can't Kill the Boogeyman! Halloween IV & V - Double Feature7pm - 12am, $10The Strand Theater, 165 Main Street, Seymour, CT 06483
• The Great Pumpkin Festival*This fun, family annual event is scheduled for Saturday, October 19th from 12pm - 4pm. The popular festival will take place on Stratford’s historic Boothe Memorial Park. This celebration of autumn and Halloween will include a traditional costume parade and contest, a pumpkin carving contest, horse-driven hay rides, a roaming railroad, inflatables and more. The many historic and unique buildings on the Boothe park property will be open to the public.*12pm-4pm, FREEBoothe Memorial Park, 5800 Main St, Stratford, CT

Sunday, October 20th, 2019:

• So You Think You Can Dance LIVE!*SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE is is bringing it's best dancers to Foxwoods Resort Casino on October 20! Following the continued success of the hit summer competition series and 16 Emmy® wins, Sytycd is packing up its best dancers of 2019 and touring the country this Fall with Sytycd LIVE! 2019. Sytycd LIVE! 2019 will feature the show’s Top 10 Finalists including Season 16’s winner, America’s Favorite Dancer plus soon to be announced All Star guests.*7:30pm, $40-$60The Grand Theater at Foxwoods Casino
• Llama Walk*Have you ever wanted to take a walk with a llama? You can! There are many beautiful places in and around Cornwall, Connecticut where this can take place. White Memorial Conservation Center in Litchfield is working together with Country Quilt Llama Farm to offer llama walks on any one of their 35 miles of walking trails.*2pm-3pm, $20White Memorial Conservation Center Museum, 80 Whitehall Rd. Litchfield, CT 06759
• North Haven Chili Cook Off!12pm-3pm, North Haven Town Green, 18 Church St, North Haven, 06473$10

How about check out a newly released movie this weekend!

• Zombieland: Double Tap
• Jay & Silent Bob Reboot
• Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
• Jojo Rabbit
• Trick

You can also check this link out for a ton more events all around CT!
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User Suggested Events:

• Annual Roadsmary’s Baby Pumpkin Fest at Two Roads Brewing Company Stratford
• Riot at the Eagles, original live rock music. 8pm-2am, $5 suggested donation
• Oct 15-20 The Book of Mormon @ The Bushnell
• Plainville Pumpkin Festival
• Mohawk Mountain Fall Festival
• Hartford Halloween Bar Crawl
• Harry Potter Magical Halloween Pizza Party!
• Uconn football home game vs Houston
• The Haunted Isle 2019
• Immortal Techniques Hip-Hop @ Toads Place

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I think it was removed because I posted o my Tumblr. Sorry!

HiHey EVERYONE!!!
While I AM STILL trying to work out some last minute details- Busses to the casino are STILL a possibility I am working on, with emails being traded as recently as yesterday I am happy to announce the FINAL details for the after party!
The after party will be held at The Century Bar and Grill at The Hollywood Park Casino.
The Century Bar holds 200+. If in the event of more people, we can spill over into other areas, and their lounge, Raise is adjacent to the Century. We can also enjoy any of the games and tables the casino provides should we chose to do so. (If anyone does, may The Fox God be with you for luck!)
Details-
Flyer for the event
Time and Place- The Hollywood Park Casino, 3883 W Century Blvd, Inglewood California
Directly after The Forum Show.
Venue Website and Phone Number-
Website- http://www.playhpc.com/dining
(Includes a "virtual tour' of the location)
Phone number- 310-330-2800
Food and Drink menu-
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10GG3wdmMnRS2vVd56z791yDz1nqPDfaB/view?usp=drivesdk
Drink and Food Specials - 11:30pm to 1 am Late Night Happy Hour:
$2 off draft beer or glass wine
$2 off all appetizers
$1 off all well cocktails
Directions-
Using Google Maps-
https://www.google.com/maps/diThe+Forum,+West+Manchester+Boulevard,+Inglewood,+CA/Hollywood+Park+Casino,+3883+W+Century+Blvd,+Inglewood,+CA+90303/@33.9518124,-118.340854,13z/data=!4m8!4m7!1m2!1m1!1s0x80c2b6545d4575cb:0xb1eeeaa0c8fa6906!1m2!1m1!1s0x80c2b65c71b04745:0x927abaf881cacd88!3e0
NOTE- Safety has been a concern regarding the area surrounding the Forum. It is STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that everyone take some type of Uber, Lyft, or cab to the after party, and ride sharing is encouraged!
Event Info- The Century Bar and Grill is an American Eatery, with standard fare at seemingly reasonable prices located just as you enter the casino. It comfortably holds 200, and we can spill over into the adjacent lounge if needed. It offers a late night happy hour. They are expecting us, will be playing a rock music program, and it should be a great place to gather after the show!
Facebook event page- please check in if interested or attending!:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1782820115358437/?ti=cl
After Party Sign in sheet-
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1M41nktmeAbi_NdtxrGHYJcUk1LJ_FdiFAECKH2budKQ/edit?usp=drivesdk
For the love of the Fox God, if you plan on attending, please sign up so that I may give a proper head count-estimate to the venue!
Now, for some sad news (for me)-
Due to work issues, and some real life stuff, I am SADLY unable to make it to the Forum or this party. So, I am going to rely on some of you to help ensure of its success. With that being said, I need some volunteers for the last minute work-
Volunteers needed!!
Day of the show- I need as MANY folks possible to hand out some flyers, and let everyone know about the party.
Handing out Flyers- If you can print out some flyers, and hand them out on line prior to the show, it would be a great help! You can use the above full color, or this black and white version . HTWingnut has also pit together this business-card sized template , which may be easier for some people. HT Wingnut also suggested printing a few full size color flyers, and (politely and neatly) posting them up around the venue as posters for the event. There are MULTIPLE entrances, so every little bit helps!
The Wonderful Journey Pops- Kmudametal will be escorting the Wonderful Journey Pops to The Forum!!! This will be their THIRD appearance at a concert or after party, with the first two being Legend S in 2017 and Innsbruck in 2018. Our idea was to set the Pops up at a table, take photos of them with the fans, and "LIVE TWEET" them at the party throughout the event. Kmuda can't do this alone, so if anyone can help him out, that would be very welcomed. Must have a working phone with camera and a Twitter account, and work closely with Kmuda regarding this. Safety of the Pops is also a concern, so known members or participants of the journey are encouraged. For anyone not familiar with The Wonderful Journey, or the Pops-
http://www.babymetalwj.com/
Check out BM Wonderful Journey (@BM_W_Journey): https://twitter.com/BM_W_Journey?s=09
Video slideshow- There is a possibility of accessing video for a slideshow throughout the event. All that would be necessary is someone to put something together on USB, (hopefully on a loop?) and run it. You would have to meet with staff on site at the party, give them the USB, and get it set up through them. If interested, let me know below, and I can DM you with info as soon as Jessica (events at the casino) gets back to me regarding this.
Liason with staff, assist with party-
If a couple people just check in with staff as we arrive, make sure all is set, and most importantly, HELP EVERYONE gather together, it is VERY useful. Believe me, I did this for The big party in Hollywood in 2017, and organizing this crew is like corraling cats, but it helps everyone find each other, and is a GREAT way to meet everyone!
MOST IMPORTANTLY- HELP SPREAD THE WORD!!-
Involved in other fan groups? Let them know!
Have a twitter and in touch with other fans? Tweet the party and flyer!
On Facebook? Share the event!!!
I've been posting about the event throughout the planning stages, but welcome everyone to join in- the MORE KITSUNES, THE MERRIER!!!
If you are attremding, please respond and say hi bellow.
If you can or want to volunteer, let me know in the comments-
And most importantly... HAVE FUN EVERYONE!!!
SEE YOU!!!
-BRIAN