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My name is Jared A. Brock. Having just turned 35, I sat down to reflect on everything I’ve learned so far and made a list of the things I wish I learned far sooner. None of these are rules or commands for you to follow, just personal reflections from a decade of journaling. I hope they save you a lot of time, energy, and struggle:
1. “Save the best for last” is terrible advice.
A French monk taught me this one. Every morning, I put on the newest pair of socks in my drawer. Why wear the rattiest pair? When I sit down to eat, I eat the tastiest bits first. Why let them get cold? After every shower, I put on my favorite clean t-shirt. I have a great bottle of 10-year-old Laphroaig scotch in my cupboard, but I probably won’t drink it for months because I received two bottles of reactor-aged Lost Spirits single malt for Christmas. Why? Because life is hard enough and we aren’t promised tomorrow. This doesn’t mean we should throw caution to the wind and “live in the moment” at all times, but it does mean we should try to find the golden middle and glean a little bit of pleasure from every day we’re blessed to live. “Save the best for last” is poverty-mentality thinking. It expects worse in the future. Enjoy the best right now — in your marriage, parenting, work, travel, faith, friendship, contribution. Keep all the chips on the table. Be ready at all times to leave without regret.
2. Tools use us.
A hammer literally cannot hit a nail without using a human. A saw cannot cut through a board without using a human. A phone cannot deliver ads without using a human.
3. Avoid false dichotomies.
When given two great options, choose both. When given two horrible options, choose neither.
4. Failure is overcome by one word.
“Next.”
5. Ambition is ruinous for your happiness.
Most goal-setters (myself included) live much of life in anticipation of tomorrow, and when that day arrives, they’re either disappointed by their failures or underwhelmed by their successes. Instead: trust the process. Whiskey, pasta, bread, beer, and cereal all require just two ingredients — wheat and water — but the outcome is completely different based on the process. Identity precedes action. Determine what you want to be, then find the process that will get you there every single time.
6. Forget what the market wants.
Listen to your gut. Your body knows the difference between good and great. Someone said you should never record a song or code an app or write an article unless it makes you laugh, cry, or orgasm. If an idea doesn’t move you, it won’t move an audience, no matter how “commercial” you think it is.
7. Give yourself a shove.
The best way to eat more candy, drink more vodka, and smoke more cigarettes is to leave them in the middle of the kitchen counter. You get it. Willpower is useless. Instead, line up a series of little nudges to automatically get you through your day. If you want to work out, leave your shorts by the door or your cleats in your fridge. My blue diode glasses rest on top of my laptop so I have to protect my eyes before logging online. I can’t not see my vitamins when I brush my teeth, or chia seeds when I reach for the Brita. There’s a book beside my bed, toilet, desk, and car’s gear shifter. Line up enough nudges and you can shove yourself in the right direction.
8. Grandma didn’t use toilet paper.
She used pages from the Sears catalog. Splinter-free wasn’t available until 1935. The Romans used sponges. The Greeks used clay. Francois Rabelais recommended using “the neck of a goose.” Arabians used their left hand. Never assume our extremely unique cultural moment is “normal.”
9. Ninety-nine isn’t enough.
Water boils at 100 degrees Celcius. The difference between 99 and 100 is the difference between zero and one. Not-boiling, boiling. Corollary: 101 doesn’t make it any more boiling.
10. Old people know better.
Honoring our elders is one of the most underrated practices in our newness-obsessed society. Sure, there are a ton of old crazy far-right conspiracy theorists, but there are also good people who have survived four wars, six recessions, and twelve presidents and are somehow still smiling. Get to know them. Also: meet your old-person self. I try to invent a new word every week — one of them is preflection. To ponder the present through the eyes of your future self. Take an hour in silence to listen to your eighty-year-old self. They might know something you don’t.
11. Fire all your employees.
The employer-employee relationship creates an unhealthy power dynamic between humans that simply didn’t exist when we worked cooperatively to feed our clan or village. I love my work life so much more now that I only work with independent entrepreneurs who are my equals. For me, it’s either a one-man show (my writing business), an equal partnership (my film company), or a co-operative endeavor. Life’s too short to be a boss or be bossed around.
12. Accept that you are a voracious locust of doom.
Nail a roll of paper to the wall and write down everything you consume for a year — food, toilet paper, electricity, car fuel, movies, music, social media content, other people’s time, everything. See what I mean? Saint Augustine said that the human heart can only fully be satisfied by one thing aside from God himself: everything. All the sex, all the money, all the power, all the possessions, all the glory. All of it. Nothing short of everything could ever fully satiate the human heart. We are wired for more. Understanding this truth is the first step toward real contentment.
13. Awkward is awesome.
My best friend says that The Office gave society a beautiful gift: the ability to embrace cringe. When you meet someone new and it’s slightly weird, pretend you’re Michael Scott. Just glory and bask in the discomfort. You can awkward-proof your life by being bold: Ask for discounts. Ask for refunds. Ask for phone numbers. Ask for pay raises. Ask inappropriate questions at inappropriate times. Lather yourself in awkward and pretty soon nothing sticks.
14. Happiness isn’t the purpose of life.
Hitler really was following his bliss by offing millions of Jews. I’m sure Jeffrey Dahmer genuinely enjoyed the taste of human flesh. Bernie Madoff seemed content to bilk charities for decades. Happiness isn’t the purpose of life. It’s not even in the top ten. Happiness is a seasonal fruit, not a foundational root. Find firm and fertile ground.
15. There is no ugly.
My grandpa re-proposed to my grandma on their fiftieth wedding anniversary and called her the most beautiful woman he’s ever known. Old wrinkly grandma? Yes. Because we choose our definition of beauty through our thoughts, disciplines, habits, and patterns, be they conscious or otherwise.
16. We are what we consume.
The statistical average American is a walking bodybag of sugar, alcohol, caffeine, porn, pills, and digital stimulus. Imagine how different life would be if our only inputs were nature, sleep, sunlight, organic food, and embodied human interaction? Guard your inputs carefully.
17. We’re going to die quite soon.
Make sure you live first. Practicing memento mori will help.
18. Fame is poison.
One in four Gen Zers thinks they’ll be famous by age 25. One in 3.9999999 Gen Zers are going to have a miserably disappointing life. Why do people desire the attention of strangers? Because we all need to love and be loved, to know and be known, but are too afraid to risk personal heartbreak to seek it out. Attention is not affection. Influence is not intimacy.
19. Boomers are to blame for half our troubles.
The Me Generation took a free ride at the planet’s expense and are hellbent on taking the rest of it with them. They’re statistically low on empathy — blame the lead, asbestos, and hairspray if you must — but at least acknowledge the reality that life is hard for everyone, and no one has it easier.
20. Children are dope.
Kids are the blood transfusion in our sick system. We need to stop manipulating, brainwashing, colonizing, and propagandizing them, and learn from them instead.
21. It doesn’t have to hurt.
Joy is a choice.
22. Watch comedy before calls and meetings.
Five minutes of gut-busting laughter will prime you for even the most tedious conference call. Your co-workers and customers all have tough lives like everybody else, so brighten their day by pre-brightening your own.
23. No ragrets.
Tattoo it on your neck. Most people play it far too safe. Instead: optimize your life for the least number of regrets and the most amount of selfless contribution.
24. There are better ways to vote.
I’ve manned several local voting stations, and I’ve also hob-nobbed with politicians in Canada, America, and the UK. The reality is that they don’t work for us. They work for their corporate sponsors and private interests. Democracy isn’t dead. It just hasn’t happened yet, with all attempts to date being stillborn or aborted. Democracy = one voice one vote. Athens wasn’t a democracy — women, slaves, and tenants had zero say. America isn’t a democracy either — no representative system is, because it’s far too easy for private interests to buy politicians. The charade of voting is illusory. All elections are sham elections. So what to do? Vote with your money and time and attention. One sham vote every four years versus tens of thousands of dollar-votes each year? It’s a no-brainer. My wife and I haven’t stepped foot in a Walmart in more than a decade because thousands of its suppliers are based in China, the billionaire heirs are anti-democratic tax-avoiders, and they treat their employees like indentured servants. Vote for pro-democracy third-party candidates if you must — just understand the game, and vote in the ways that actually matter.
25. Everything easy has already been done.
So run a little further. And if it hasn’t been done, it won’t be as easy as it appears. The question to ask is: what’s been standing in the way this whole time? Achievement is all about knocking down obstacles. Just make sure what’s on the other side is rightly worth the effort.
26. Broccoli still tastes terrible.
But you’re not a child anymore. Adults do hard things.
Discipline is great, but it’s also subject to the law of diminishing returns. Life is just too dynamic to schedule with military precision. Free yourself from the tyranny of “only people who wake up at 5 AM are successful.” All hours are not created equal. It depends on your sleep drive and chronotype. Know yourself. Unapologetically get more sleep, then do your best work at your best time in your best state.
28. “Freedom” isn’t freedom.
America wasn’t founded on freedom. America was founded on violent autonomy. The ancient Greeks had an entirely different definition of freedom: it was the ability to choose the right regardless of circumstance.
“We talk about freedom all the time, but we’ve stopped talking about freedom a long time ago. Now we’re talking about autonomy. Freedom is different than autonomy. Freedom has boundaries. Truth is one of those boundaries. And morality is one of those boundaries. Autonomy is the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want in whatever way you want. The problem is this: If I’m autonomous and another person is autonomous, and I have preferences and those matter more than the truth, and that person has preferences and their preferences matter more than the truth, when two autonomous preference-seeking beings come together and their preferences don’t match, who is going to win? If truth is on the bottom shelf, truth won’t decide. What will decide will be power. And isn’t it ironic that in our quest for “freedom”, someone gets enslaved?” — Abdu Murray
29. The Marines were right: slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
As teenagers, my friend Tyler and I were in a hurry to get somewhere quickly so we drove 120+ miles per hour for forty-five straight minutes before nearly crashing when the speed burned a footlong gash through the tire. By the time we replaced it with a spare, we were late to our destination by more than an hour. But nevermind driving. Pump the life-brakes sometimes, or at least, let off the gas. You might get there faster, with less wear-and-tear on the engine.
30. The quest for wealth is destroying life.
We’ve commodified land, water, shelter, clothing, art, time, and nearly everything else. Very little remains, and it’s amassing into fewer hands. We need a shared global vision. My invented word for it is benevitae: the sustainable flourishing of all creation. Our collective goal should be socioenviroeconomic sustainability. Where to start? We’d do well to let biology determine ecological sustainability and real democracy to determine economic fairness. Our current trajectory is worse than the Space Shuttle Challenger.
31. Most “leaders” aren’t leaders.
Celebrities, politicians, and book-hocking business gurus all call themselves leaders. They’re not. Real leadership is influence that serves. True leaders are selfless and servant-hearted. They put the best interests of others ahead of their own. Politics and media, by comparison, attracts sociopaths like flies to firelight. Never give power to those who seek it. Nearly everyone worth following is dead.
32. Divide-and-conquer is a business model.
Near the end of high school, dozen friends and I binge-watched multiple seasons of LOST in our friend Mike’s basement. It was one of the most hilarious, riotous, enjoyable experiences we had as a group. And it was the last show we ever watched together. People used to go to restaurants in large numbers, to the movies by the dozen, climbing over each other for one of the limited video game controllers, packing out our churches, cheering on our sports teams by the busload. We were almost never alone, and we were far happier. Now we order in, watch Netflix, stream Minecraft, catch the highlights, watch porn, and go to bed. It’s killing us. Resist the urge to be alone. It’s too easy, and it’s the exact opposite of what we really need. The #1 thing that’s correlated to human happiness is human togetherness.
33. Self-improvement won’t save us.
The great lie of individualist-consumerist culture is that we can improve our way to personal perfection and communal utopia. But it’s incrementalism at best. It’s just chasing infinity.
34. We know nothing +/-.
On the scale of all that is known, and all that is knowable, our individual understanding is essentially mathematically zero. The entirety of human knowledge is a rounding error. This is the beginning of humility.
35. The sun is not on fire
I was at an observatory in the Davis Mountains in Texas, and it was the first time I’d paid attention to astronomy since grade school. For three decades, I’d wrongly assumed the sun was a giant ball of flames. But there’s no fire in space because there’s no oxygen in space. (It just looks like fire because of how our eyes perceive light through the atmosphere and prism.) As I stared at the real-time image of the sun on the observatory wall, I nearly wept. The sun actually looks like a giant, boiling, grey brain. And then it hit me: I have so many assumptions to set aside and so much left to learn. So pay attention. Don’t worship the “question everything” mantra, but instead spend your life seeking truth, and wisdom, and understanding. You know what you need to do to get where you want to be.
I am in my early 30s, make $75k a year ($120k joint), live in the South, work as a Development Director, and hate capitalism but love a little luxury!
Edited to remove the tables because when I obsessively checked this post on my phone I couldn't read them?? Also I tried to, but was prevented from, editing the title. I know it looks sanctimonious but that's just one small part of my personality I swear. D: ❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt Total Net Worth: $30,875 - all equity. Retirement Balance: $0 for me; $20,500 for my husband in the state pension program for teachers. (My partner, L, has been paying into the state teachers' pension system for 5 years. For most of my 20s, I either worked at very low-paying jobs, or supported myself and others on a teacher’s salary, so no retirement for me. My current job does not have a retirement program, but one of my goals for this year is to either start a Roth IRA or get a new job with a 401k match… or maybe both?) Savings Account Balance: $23,733 We’re moving this summer to a city closer to our families, and are saving all we can for a down payment on a dreamy spot. After we move, some amount of what’s left over will go into a retirement fund, and the rest will stay in this HYSA as our emergency fund. For us, three months of expenses, including childcare, is about $18,000. Checking Account Balance: $455 Credit Card Debt: n/a, pay off each month Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished) MAT. (My undergrad degrees were mostly covered by the Pell Grant, scholarships, and a $10,000 529 from my parents. L was a nontraditional student - didn’t start undergrad until he was 24 - so none of his was covered. Most of my debt is for a MAT program I dropped out of after one year. I was trying to find any way out of teaching at the time (it is demanding, all-consuming, and carceral at once) and thought a PhD would be my only route. When I got my current job I promptly left the program and any dreams of a PhD behind.) Equity: $83,875 (This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our house in a very popular neighborhood in a very popular city. Our outstanding debt on the house is $295,000. We put our whole savings down in 2019, which was $9,000 at the time.) ❤️ Section 2: Income Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $65,000, and L’s is $45,000. I worked a side gig last year that totaled about $10k in additional compensation; all of it went to savings so we don't budget for it. My take home is $4096/month for my full time job, and my current side gig income (grant writing) is variable, between $300 and $600 a month. L’s take home is $2262/month. My health insurance is paid in full by work. L’s insurance and B’s come out of L’s paycheck, as does L’s retirement contribution. Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out for college at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year. I won’t include that money here though (it was like $12,000 a year as a college student, for reference). Income below starts when I graduated with two BAs that had nothing to do with teaching. Year 1: $15,600 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist) Year 2: $32,000 (year 1 teacher salary: I accepted a spot in Teach for America for this giant salary even though I thought it was an obnoxious neoliberal org. Yes, I was also obnoxious at the time.) Year 3: $33,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 4: $34,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 5: $35,000 (teacher, step increase) Year 6: $15,000 (community organizer; at the time this felt like a dream job) Year 7: $20,000 (community organizer & cafe worker) Year 8: $40,000 (back to teaching, felt rich; this includes a side hustle writing grants on the side for $50 an hour) Year 9: $45,000 (left teaching for my current job, quit the grants side hustle) Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise, got pregnant) Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion, had a baby) Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again in January but waiting on the pay increase to hit, hopefully with backdating. This money diary doesn’t reflect this salary as it hasn’t been reflected in my check yet) ❤️ Section 3: Expenses Mortgage/PMI/Insurance: $2,110 Retirement Contribution: n/a (L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $169 a month. Right now, I don’t have a retirement contribution) Savings Contribution: $1000 to main savings, $400 to sinking fund (This is a super aggressive goal for us and is only possible because our childcare costs are covered by work) Debt Payments: n/a right now (We have student loans to the tune of $100k but haven’t been paying a dime since they were paused due to COVID. But then the other day I checked and saw they've gained interest? Should we be paying them then? WWJD? I legit don’t know.) Electric: $130 Internet: $100 Cellphone: $65 (For L & I both. We are on a bigass family plan with 40 gajillion other people.) Subscriptions: $45 ($10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data (Why?!); $22 NYT (for newspaper and cooking app); also have a split subscription to the New Yorker with bestie F but we paid for a yearly deal.) Car Payment and Insurance: $150 for a car payment; $202 for insurance (Insurance covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. Our car payment is for our used Honda. We only owe $6,850 on the car and I’m back and forth on whether to pay it off with savings) Medical/Therapy: $0 (My therapist is $140 a session, and I just started seeing her again once a month, but this is reimbursed by work. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, costs $60 total.) Misfits Market: $120 (For a weekly box, which really helps us cut down on overall grocery cost) Gym membership: $30 (For my intense local yoga studio’s app which is so great in the winter. We also run and bike a lot, as long as it’s warm enough) Donations: $100 (We give monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America; the Working Families Party; and a small, local org. I’m also on an organizing committee for that org. We’ll give them one big gift of at least $250 this year, probably in May. I support a couple organizations with grant writing and grant-finding support as much as I can, which usually amounts to a few hours a month.) Childcare: $0 B goes to a very precious Montessori preschool, and we can walk him there. It’s pricey af ($1300/month). The other $200 is to account for some babysitting from my little sister when L or I have to work weird hours. For now, work reimburses this full amount as a COVID perk; if that changes, we will have to cut costs significantly. House cleaner: $160 (They come twice a month and charge $80 each time.) ❤️ Section 4: Money Diary NOTE: We are masked and afraid everywhere we go. ✨DAY 1: THURSDAY✨ 4:20 am: Good morning world! I shuffle into the kitchen in my panties and my slippers to fill up the gooseneck kettle. I recently got into pour over coffee even though it’s quite a commitment. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a Libra sun, I don’t really have time for meditative morning routines. This lengthy, half-naked coffee regimen is my closest attempt. As soon as I get the coffee brewing, our 18 month old, B, starts making noise. I open the door and see he’s got his pacifier in his mouth and his pillow in his arms. He wants to lay with Dada. I help him get in the bed with my husband, L, as quietly as possible. Last week L was super sick and we thought for sure he had picked up COVID. Blessedly all of our tests came back negative, but on the heels of that, he started having major tooth pain and had to have an emergency tooth extraction, AND he got an ear infection as he was coming down from whatever virus he had. I hate it :( I get dressed and do some chores while they snooze to ease L's morning. I start the diaper laundry (usually his job - we use cloth), put away the dishes, start the Eufy vacuum, and get B and L’s breakfasts together: sunbutter and a little bit of syrup on some banana pancakes I prepped earlier this week. 6:30 am: B and L are up! The hour before we take B to preschool is kind of a marathon. L eats with B (and supervises his syrup consumption) as I clean out some more dirty diapers, brush my teeth, make another cup of coffee, strip our sheets, spray my hair with water to refresh the curl, return a few group texts, and wash some breakfast dishes. Somewhere in here I also eat two boiled eggs with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, and a bunch of grapes. I help L get B loaded up in the car, and just as they pull off, my parents Facetime me. They’re calling to see B but are polite enough to talk to me for a few minutes. They live a few hours away, and are divorced, but cohabitating. The full story is long and spiritual for me so I’ll spare you. Anyway, my mom and I talk for a while about this couch she thinks I should buy from one of her friends, but it’s two hours away and we’d have to rent a U-Haul, so I think we’ll pass. I do hate our current couch though. Please drop comfy toddler- and dog-friendly recommendations in the comments! 8:15 am: I set out to walk the dog and listen to the Daily’s recent update on the coronavirus. Donald G. McNeill, Jr., says we’re in this through the summer, which is a bummer on the personal and global front, but I suppose it could be worse??? Maybe?? As soon as they finish talking I switch over to You’re Wrong About. I’m deep in the Jessica Simpson series and highly recommend this pod for any other nerdy, lefty, kinda burnt out millennials, especially those of you that are queer or queer-adjacent. Once home, I take my whole operation onto the front porch to work, since the cleaner will be here soon and I don’t want to crowd her in this time of COVID. I LOVE a clean house and I love paying someone else to do the big stuff, which is a recent luxury for us. 11:00 am: I’ve been working steadily in my email and google docs for a couple hours now, and it’s COLD out here. The cleaner leaves and I am grateful to go back into the heat. I Venmo her $80 for the cleaning (included in monthly expenses). I take a break from work and check out the job boards. My current job is the best, and highest-paying, gig I’ve ever had, but I’m planning to leave some time this year for several reasons. The premier reason: I recently learned that I’m qualified for several positions that pay over $100k at similar organizations. With that kind of money we could pay off our student loans, help our families out more, make sizable donations, and L could explore a career outside of teaching without freaking about a slight cut in his pay for a few years as he finds his niche. Or - maybe he’ll get into Edtech somehow and we’ll join Resource Generation. Who knows. 12:30 pm: I have a quick break and pull together lunch: half a cheese quesadilla, a big bowl of Smitten Kitchen’s roasted tomato soup, and a LimonCello LaCroix. L is on his planning period and asks me to edit his most recent job application, and I oblige. Since we’re both job hunting, I ask him if I can buy a resume template and guide on Etsy. I have sworn off online shopping for the year to curb my impulse spending, but he says we’ll just count this one as his purchase. Great news because I hate the formatting of my resume from 2016 and don’t want to fix it myself! $9.95 3:30 pm: My Zooms are over, my inbox is at 0, and I put up my out of office message because I’m taking the day off tomorrow to work on my resume and do some things to prep our house for sale. My high-functioning anxiety created an ambitious backwards timeline for this process back in December, and that timeline currently runs my life. I work for a few more minutes to tie up loose ends, and then walk O to a nearby shop to buy my favorite candle, curbside-style. When I get there the owner gives me some percentage off because it’s slightly discolored from the sun. Huzzah! $27.25, marked down from $40 4:45 pm: My angel of a baby sister, J, who lives just a few blocks away and is in a pod with us, comes to hang out with B for an hour so L can rest. I head to my good friend D’s place for my investment overalls appointment. She's going to alter their awkward wide leg into more of a tapered, mom jean shape. I have a capsule wardrobe which means I’ll wear these babies at least once a week, and plus I get to pay my friend, so I’m fine with the extra expense. When I arrive, she and her partner have the fire pit going, and we drink a couple glasses of wine together, yet more than 6 feet apart. I learn they are planning to move to the same new city as us in the next couple of years and legit cry happy tears. Afterwards, I head out to pick up dinner for tonight. We are getting burgers from L’s favorite place as a treat. On my way, the WOLF MOON appears over the water and my stomach does triple flips. Then I pick up our dinner: a veggie burger with eggplant jam and kale for me; a real-meat burger with mushrooms, bacon, swiss, carmelized onion, and horseradish mayo for L; and an appetizer plate with pretzels, pimento cheese, onion jam, pickles, and chips for B. Delicious and unhealthy. The total is $34.54. 6:30: Home and eating dinner. B loves his meal, especially the “chokes.” He calls pretzels “chokes” because when L first started feeding them to him, I worried aloud that he would choke every time. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how a pretzel almost took out George W. Bush. Turns out our toddler is better at chewing than George W. Bush. After dinner, L gives B a bubble bath while I do my own, very minimal, bedtime routine. Then L and I lay down with B to put him to sleep. He has a floor bed, which is a Montessori thing I learned about on mom blogs. L is a very hot and talented woodworker, so he took my floor bed dream to the next level by building a lovely house-shaped frame. The top beam is wrapped in twinkle lights and fake ivy. It’s a nice place to sleep, and we pass out here all the time. 10:30 pm: L wakes me up and we wander to our own bed. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 71.74 ✨ DAY 2: FRIDAY✨ 4:15 am: Wake up and go look at the clock. Decide this is a silly time to get up on a day off, drink some water, and go lay back down. But once in bed all I can think about is how much I want to read the news, organize my resume, and update this money diary. This is the problem with falling asleep at toddler time. So I get up again at 4:45, make my coffee, read a New Yorker article about Biden’s pandemic response on my phone, and sit down to work on this diary. 6:00 am: L wakes up! He works on breakfast for himself and B and I start meal planning for the month. This is one of my best and most recent life hacks. I found that if I chart out our cooking, weekly takeout, and leftovers at the start of the month, we save lots of money and are so much less stressed about the labor that goes into feeding ourselves. I pull out Smitten Kitchen Every Day and use it to inspire the month’s meals. So quaint to cook from an actual BOOK. 6:45 am: B walks out of our room and announces that he drank my water off the side table. He’s so proud! And so ready to eat. While he eats breakfast, I snack on some grapes and, at B’s request, blast 7 Days A Week by They Might Be Giants. This is the consummate children’s song for any household that dreams of a self-determined world. Over the next hour I take B to school; make myself a real breakfast (a soy chorizo and egg taco); and browse TikTok. Eventually I find a series about this Gamestop situation by a smart Irish woman and L and I watch it together. When it’s over we feel like shrewd stock brokers ready to win money, and L gets to work teaching virtually. I spend the morning painting our front door and our kitchen wall to prep our house to sell, and talking to my (other) little sister on the phone. She’s an HR person with a job that’s taken her far away from our family, and we don’t talk that often. It is so good to catch up on her life. After that I have a fun, day-off Zoom call with longtime bestie and coworker K. We drink coffee and talk about The Future. 12:30 pm: I make lunch (tomato soup with goat cheese on top, and a savory scone on the side) and get a text from another bestie, M, who offers me a little grant writing contract work this week. Yay! I love them and love working with them. Next, I order our groceries for the week. I get baking powder, eggs, cremini mushrooms, vegan sausage patties, oat milk, ginger root, shredded cheddar cheese, plantains, black beans, doggy bags, broccoli, vegan chicken strips, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, capers, ciabatta bread, grits, bananas, avocados, greek yogurt, and on impulse, a pineapple on sale (?!). Maybe B will love it. The total comes to $94.08. 1:15 pm: I do a brief power vinyasa class in B’s room and take a shower. It takes me approximately two Drake songs to shower and dry off, as I don’t have to wash my hair today and I never shave. I work on my resume until L and I leave to pick up B. On the way home we stop at the park to play, and then we all get in the car to pick up groceries. 6:30 pm: We get home later than planned and eat together: leftover tofu ramen for us and veggie lasagna for B, who is so sleepy that he hardly touches his lasagna. L gets him in the bath around 7:15 and I run through my evening routine. There’s a lot going on in the house - preschool lunch and clothes to put up, a mountain of laundry in our room, all of the groceries for the week waiting to be put away, and dinner dishes are languishing in the sink. L starts on chores while I get B dressed. As I’m dressing B, my mom Facetimes and B shows her several of his board books. While we’re talking my dad texts me a heart emoji - he overheard B and my mom talking from his room. He lives with a disability and a painful illness, so he goes to bed very early. We hang up with my mom and record a video of B making “P” sounds and saying “I love you” to my dad, and send it over. This is the first time B’s ever said “I love you!” Huge news. We read books and fall asleep next to B. 9 pm: I wake up and nudge L but he wants to keep sleeping. I go clean the dinner dishes, put away the food and reorganize the cabinets and fridge, and mop the kitchen floor while I listen to The Daily’s latest reporting on QAnon believers who are at once totally bananagrams and also remind me very much of my aunt. L wakes up at 9:30 because he and Y, my sister’s boyfriend, are gonna game. Cute! He finishes the laundry and I fold a few diapers to help out. Then we lay in bed together until game time, when I fall asleep. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 94.08 ✨DAY 3: SATURDAY✨ 5:40 am: Wake up at a ~*~weekend hour~*~!! Start my kettle, clean and moisturize my face, pull out the ingredients for waffles, and pick up around the house while I wait for it to boil. I try to read some, but get bored a few pages in. I’m currently readingHow to Do Nothing and it’s good enough, but I think I need to chill on the nonfiction and read, like, saucy romance novels with hot bisexual leads. Send me your recs please! Waffle time! This recipe is my go-to. I recommend whipping the egg whites first. B wakes up around 7:15 and helps me cook which is cute and very messy. He eats his waffle with honey, peanut butter, and grapes. L wakes up after him - he had a late night gaming! 8 am: I open yesterday’s mail and find an anti-abortion DVD from L’s grandma. It’s Abby Johnson’s “memoir.” Abby Johnson is an opportunistic right winger and documented liar who once moonlighted as a Planned Parenthood clinic manager. L is a preacher’s kid, so we’re not surprised to receive this from his grandma. For example: 10 years ago, when L and I were a couple years into our relationship, her Christmas gift to me was a book about how one can recover from being a slut by getting married and finding Jesus. This particular package really sends me over the edge, though. I decide to write them a short note later that states my own experience with abortion and sets a clear boundary on this kind of propaganda, and includes an article about Abby Johnson’s bullshit life. It’s unlikely this will change their minds - they are septuagenarian Southern Baptists, after all - but at least I’ll be in my integrity. In the meantime, I group text L’s siblings, and they commiserate with us. His one sibling who is transitioning shares that grandma recently sent them a book about how to tell your gay friends they’re sinning. We agree that’s hilariously dense (and fucking rude) of her, and talk about how everyone under forty is a gay slut living their best life, so really it’s grandma’s loss. During this time I clean the kitchen, finish the waffles, and freeze them for B’s weekday breakfasts. 9:30 am: B asks to use the potty and does a great job peeing on his own! He’s geeked about it and is especially excited to have my parents on Facetime cheering him on. After that we head out on our morning walk. L takes B to the playground and I take O to the dog park nearby. She gets tired pretty quick and we all head to the thrift store. We need chairs for our hand-me-down kitchen table. The ones that came with it are awkwardly wide. L spots two sturdy ones that are just $5 each. Score! $10 11:30 am: B and L are both wiped out once we get home. They eat lunch and go to sleep. I clean up the kitchen, repot one of my plants, water our porch plants, and eat some leftover ramen for lunch. The Marie Antoinette episode of You’re Wrong About keeps me company all the while. 10/10 would recommend. 2 pm: B wakes up and eats some lunch. We watercolor together for a while (he on his big paper, I in my bullet journal), then walk down the street to the local high school while L preps potatoes for our fondue. The high school grounds are open on the weekends, and there’s an amphitheatre on site. B loves the echo in there. 4:30 pm: L joins us in the amphitheatre and together we drag B two blocks back home. I prep the fondue: brie, gouda, and more gouda with white wine. It ends up being a little clumpy but so delicious. My sister, J, and her boyfriend, Y arrive while I’m cooking. Y brings yummy baguettes from his bakery job for the dipping and we prep broccoli, green beans, and tempeh too. We sit down in our new chairs to eat and for the zillionth time I am so thankful we’ve been able to make a pod together this year. Fondue would be a terrifying proposition with anyone else, really. While we eat, Y tells us he put in his two weeks at the bakery because their COVID protocols aren’t so tight and his coworkers are continuing to go to bars and out to eat. His plan for now is to get back on unemployment and find a virtual job sometime soon. Both he and my sister have worked food service their whole adult lives so the pandemic has been tough on them. Besides the fact that they’re delightful and perfect, this is one key reason we’re planning to move with them to our new city this summer: L and I will be able to easily afford the majority of the rent, deposits, and utilities on a pretty big, and centrally located, house. Living together will allow us to grow our savings and take our time looking for a Forever Home, and will allow J and Y to pay really low rent as my sister goes back to school full time and Y looks for a full-time job. I’m really looking forward to living with them and know it’ll be good for B, too. They leave around 7 pm and we put B to bed, this time without falling asleep ourselves! 8:30 pm: Turn on How I Met Your Mother in bed and the episodes are baaaaad bad. One entire episode casts sex workers as a punch line. Ick. L and I agree to find a new show, and fall asleep around 10. 11 pm - 2 am: B is up and between our two beds. Wahhhh. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 10 ✨DAY 4: SUNDAY✨ 6 am: Up and at ‘em! Discover I’m out of my fancy coffee and don’t want to emphasize the flavor of our grocery store beans with a slow pour, so make a french press instead. B wakes up too early so we watch toddlers together on TikTok while I drink my coffee, then read books while L makes us all eggs for breakfast. We head out for our morning walk around 9 am and stop at a coffee shop a few blocks away. I pick up Counter Culture’s Iridescent beans, buy an espresso brownie on a whim, and tip the cashier because she’s so sweet and tipping is good. The total is 23.03. L takes B to the playground and I drop my purchases and O back at the house before I head out for a run. 9:45 am: It’s 65 degrees and my run is glorious. I run to the water and pause Lil Yachty for a minute to take it all in. Once home I shower and put on a black LA Apparel catsuit and a marled black and white cocoon sweater from AA of the past (I like what I like!). We feed B lunch and then L puts him down while I clean up. Around 11:30, J comes over after to watch B while we remove the storm windows from our whole house and clean the windows underneath as part of our work to prep the house for sale. We’re a solid team: L removes the storm windows and caulks all the gaps in the wood while I follow behind him and wash the windows inside and out. Our sweet neighbor catches us cleaning and offers to let us use her power washer for free next weekend to clean up the front of the house. I resolve to bake them some cookies. 2:30 pm: We are done with the window operation and it’s time for me to water all 57 plants in the house. Along the way, discover that I overwatered B’s hoya last week and it’s rotting. Noooo! I unpot it on the porch to dry the roots, but it’s raining so this might not work. There’s only one surefire solution: buy a replacement plant! I try to convince L we should go to the nursery, but he’s not so into it. I walk around dejectedly with a towel to clean up all the water I spilled, and Zelle J $70 for babysitting even though she insists she would do it for free. Next B, L, and I share a snack: crackers with goat cheese and harissa. Mmm. B skips the harissa but loves the goat cheese. Meanwhile I begin to stress about making dinner. We’d planned goddess bowls but L and I just aren’t feeling it after our marathon of house work. L requests Chinese and is suddenly more amenable to visiting the nursery, which is near our favorite Chinese takeout spot. Score! 5:00 pm: We leave the plant shop with a heartleaf philodendron for B’s room and a giant, lovely, perfect monstera deliciosa just because. The total comes to $53.24. Then we pick up our food: $33.08 including the tip. L ordered a large veggie lo mein to share with B and General Tso’s chicken, and I got family style tofu and vegetables. We start B’s bedtime routine at 6:30 and he’s out by 7:00 - early for him! After he’s down, L preps his breakfast sandwiches for the week and I do some dishes. Then we take mutual advantage of the extra hour we have together. Even after 12 years it’s always so good with L. I fall asleep around 10 pm feeling blessed. 🌿 Daily total: 179.32 ✨DAY 5: MONDAY✨ 5 am: I make my pour over and get started on work first thing. I have a couple of deadlines this week and the side gig to balance so I’m already feeling pressed for time! I wrap up an entire grant report before 6 am and feel very accomplished. Then I pause work to start our breakfast, which is all pre-prepped, hallelujah. While L and B eat breakfast, I get dressed in a black turtleneck minidress, busted old tights, black ankle socks, and my Doc Martens. I help L load up the car with B and all his gear, and tell L to be careful. Today is L’s first day back teaching in person since December, and we’re both nervous since COVID is still running wild in our red state. On the way to work he fills up his car for $18.33. 2:30 pm: After another grant report, seventy gajillion emails, forty Slack messages, and several hours of Zoom calls, I’m ready for a break. I finish eating the quinoa salad I prepped during Zoom call #2 and then eat a pear too. I see our Misfits box has been delivered. It’s $30 a week, and is included in our monthly expenses. I unpack it, clean the counters, wipe down the bathroom sinks, take O for a walk, and sit down to work on my side gig grant report, which is due Wednesday. I set a 30 minute timer because I don’t want to be too late picking up B. 4:25 pm: Worked longer than I meant to! Pack some snacks and pick up B. On the way home we get a giant bag of potting soil so I can repot those plants. It’s $18.52. Come home and engage in B’s favorite winter activity: pressing all the buttons in the turned-off car. Meanwhile, in another car across town, L picks up a big bag of Purina One, butter, maple syrup, and applesauce. That total is $28.64. 5:30 pm: The whole family is home and we kick it inside until it starts to get dark. L and I gather all the things and take the creatures out for a walk even though there’s a light, but very cold, rain happening. B is cranky and so are we, so the walk is quick. We eat leftover Chinese food around 7 and start B’s bedtime routine. B falls asleep at 8 and I update this diary for a while, then go watch Ted Lasso in bed with L til about 9:30. It’s much better than How I Met Your Mother, for the record. 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 65.51 ✨Day 6: TUESDAY✨ 3 am: B wakes up and needs a diaper change. I have the hardest time falling back asleep after: I can’t stop thinking about how I left B’s hoya out in the cold with its roots exposed most of the day yesterday and into tonight. But it’s too cold for me to get up again and pull it inside! So instead I toss and turn and hope it’s not dead yet. 6 am: L’s alarm wakes me up! No early morning reading and writing time for me. I get right up, make a giant pour over, and get breakfast together while L wakes up B. Then I actually sit down with them to eat: B and I both eat boiled eggs with everything but the bagel seasoning and some coconut milk yogurt, and L sips his coffee while his breakfast sandwich heats in the oven. I get dressed in my workout gear and walk the dog while L gets B ready for school. They leave, and I finally bring the hoya in, and start work, around 7:30. L buys coffee and snacks from the gas station on his way to work: $6.88. 9:30 am: I grab some crackers and peanut butter from the kitchen and notice a DMV bill on the fridge I’ve been meaning to pay, but don’t totally understand. I call them up and respond to emails while I sit on hold. Turns out I owe the DMV $10 for paying my Dad’s van insurance late. With the “processing fee” it comes to $11.17. 1:30 pm: Been on Zoom calls all morning, and decide to switch over to the side gig work for a bit. Meanwhile I eat that quinoa salad I prepped yesterday. At 2 pm, my longtime bestie and neighbor F comes over and we take O for a walk in the park together and have such a good conversation. While the context is (very) different, I’m reminded of the Toni Morrison quote when I think of F: “She’s a friend of my mind.” Such a gem, and such a smartie. At 3:30 I start a HIIT yoga class and it kicks my butt even though it’s only 20 minutes long. Afterwards, I shower and pick up B. 5:00 pm: L arrives home while B and I are playing, and we get in the car once more to check out a cute couch L scoped out on Facebook marketplace. It’s a sweet vintage brown velvet actually-for-real midcentury situation. Unfortunately we discover it’s also small and very uncomfortable. $200 not spent. Once home, my family goes for a walk and I make dinner - this grits and beans recipe from NYT cooking. It’s blessedly quick to pull together. Meanwhile D texts me and says my overalls are ready! YAY! She’s gonna drop them off in a couple of days. She says the total is $30. I include a tip and Venmo her $40. 7:00 pm: At bedtime, B cannot get enough of his books and we read All The World several times. He finally falls asleep around 8:20 and L and I eat dinner on the couch, with Ted Lasso. I drink a glass of red wine, which is a mistake: my anxiety spikes right after, my stomach hurts, and I can’t sleep. This is very upsetting as I want very much to be a wine mom. Does this happen to anyone else? 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 58.05 ✨DAY 7: WEDNESDAY✨ 5:45 am: Wake up with B cuddled into my back - L moved him to our bed in the middle of the night after his second wake up. Get my coffee and breakfast together and sit down at my computer to work on the side gig grant while everyone's asleep. Then L and I manage the morning rush together. I eat sourdough toast, two scrambled eggs, and some pineapple along the way. 7:30 am: Take O out for a walk and on a whim decide to listen to one of my favorite easy-listening pods: A Beautiful Mess. Normally the two sisters and co-hosts, Elsie and Emma, chat about things like home decor or craft making or how to balance kids and work. This episode is about the host’s evangelical upbringing, though, and is a real raw and honest tear jerker. Pair it with this, one of my top reads of 2020: “What Does the White Evangelical Want?” It gets me thinking about L’s upbringing in the church. He and all his siblings are all agnostic now. Finally sit down at my desk and debate taking Adderall. I used it regularly in college and for a few years after in order to Do All The Things. I try to stay away from it now - I’m not trying to live an impossible life any more - but I also really want to pick B up earlier than normal today, and that means I need to meet all my deadlines and make it through two Zoom calls with my direct reports by 3 pm. I decide to take 4 mg. Right after I take it, three different friends text me at once and then, suddenly, I’ve spent an hour catching up via text. Get to work for real around 9 am. 3:00 pm: Wrapped all my calls, answered all my emails, washed all the dishes, ate some lunch, and finished the side gig work! OK Adderall, you beautiful bitch. Spend a few more minutes tying up loose ends and then gather my things to pick B up from school. The plan today is to go “play basketball” in the park near his school because he is OBSESSED with balls, and I’m trying to do more magical things every day with him. It’s cold but I’m ready to brave it on his precious, curly-headed behalf. At 4 pm J calls and asks to go pick him up with me. Hooray, things just got even more magical! We head to a different-than-usual park together and run around until B sits in, and then drinks from, a puddle. We panic and J googles “What happens if my baby drinks from a puddle?” The search returns lots of stories of babies eating muddy rocks and surviving, so we decide it’s ok. 5:00 pm Head home and L is back from work! We take the smols on a walk and I tell L that I think nighttime screentime is making me anxious. I’m a sensitive creature and I really don’t want to blame the wine. He’s very perfect so he helps me think through an alternate plan for this evening: hot tea and book reading in bed, and maybe sex, too! Fun. Next, I head home with O to pot the plants we bought the other day, and L takes B to the playground. They get back around 6:30 and I am very excited to reveal my new plant placements. Everyone feigns interest except O. Then we eat leftovers together and B gets in bed around 7:30. L and I promptly fall asleep next to him and don’t wake up again til 11 pm. Guess our new nighttime routine will have to wait til tomorrow! 🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 0 ❤️ Section 5: TOTALS Total Expenses:$478.71 Food & Drink: $220.25 Fun & Entertainment: $0 Home & Health: $109.01 Clothes & Beauty: $40 Transport: $29.50 Other: $79.95 ❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION This week reflects a new normal for us, I think! We just set the goal of saving up for another down payment in December, and that’s when I swore off online shopping both to save money and to stop lining the pockets of evil billionaires like Bezos (no shade to anyone who uses Amazon, this is purely a personal goal & I’m not sure I can meet it). This self-imposed rule is helping me reign in my discretionary spending overall. L and I have only been living a two-income, middle class life for a few years, and my lifestyle creep was a little out of control in 2020. That said, I can and do still regularly justify spending money on things that make life more luxurious and beautiful - like a $40 candle or a totally unnecessary but very lovely plant. There are a couple of things not reflected in this diary that we regularly spend on: gifts (my achilles heel - for example, we spent three! thousand! dollars! on Christmas gifts in December), and medical bills. Both B and I had to visit the emergency room in 2020 and we are still getting random bills in the mail as our insurance company and the hospital duke it out. As I was editing this diary on Thursday, I received one for $787. Wahhhh. I think I’m gonna get on a payment plan, but even so that it will be over $200 a month. Last thought: this process got me thinking in some detail about the contradiction of organizing for the fall of capitalism (and the rise of a more gentle and just economic system), yet believing everyone - including ourselves and our own families - deserve to live full and abundant lives. This means I compromise my own anti-capitalist values and beliefs every day, in big and small ways. Discuss?
DisclaimerI want to thank everyone for the gilds, replies and suggestions. I just do not have time to reply to everyone, but I am reading everything. I am not sure how much bigger the thread can be, I already typed this but it vanished so I think I'm at the limit. I will try to keep updating, but I don't expect the thread to be up top for much longer and will likely vanish soon, so if you need anything save it. Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it. Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions: For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month! For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k. I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device. Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers
Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder
If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system. Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section. Completely free TV
If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox. Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like. Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird. Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device. For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV. Anime If you are into Anime there is
The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two. PC Centric software If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design
Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12. Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development. The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals. Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap. Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam. **BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however. IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff. Game Store Fronts
Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
Games with GoldBleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.
Gaming Subscriptions Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months
Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.
There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that. Audiobooks & Ebooks
Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
Sign LanguageBSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
BBC's Bitesizehere is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.
If you need some spare change Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change
If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the detailsAccording to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."
That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment. Hope it helps someone at least PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75! tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books Learning Language Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments: TogtogtogGives a lot of links for Spanish
Board & Tabletop games Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games ilyemco suggested these HEALTH I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix. Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7. If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery. HELP & ADVICE The lockdown Rules. Reasons to leave home include:
Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
Communal religious worship
Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house
I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)
FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THEROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though) _riotingpacifist wanted these links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:
Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.
You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen. Office suit software A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.
LibreOfficeThis has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.
Music Making I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software. Games development D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here
Having to constantly start over with someone new is EXHAUSTING.
This is a post mainly venting about the last 8 months of crap I've dealt with. Maybe people can relate. Online dating has gotten much worse over the years, especially during the pandemic. I feel like it’s so hard to meet someone genuine, and then you always run the risk of that person talking to like tons of other people, even if you’ve gone on multiple dates. I was lucky that none of the men I was dating were talking to other women during the time between exclusivity. But it’s just so draining. Having to get to know people over and over again. Then you think you found someone, some months go by, you break up, just to do this shit all over again. Going through a cesspool of shit to even find someone worth a first date, let alone a second one and then a relationship. Just so tired of it! Wish I can meet someone organically off an app. Even after covids over (who knows when that’ll be) there’s ways to meet people in person, but even that is hard. For a shy introvert with social anxiety. How do you know when someone is single or what they’re looking for in person? How do you know anything other than their looks or if you'd be compatible in any way? At least a bio on a profile kinda gives you a little hint into what they're into. I'm not used to the dating scene. I'm not used to going in and out of short term relationships. Up until around 8 or 9 months ago, I was always in long term relationships that lasted between 2-4 years (3 different relationships since the age of 17, I'm now 26). But when I decided to leave my last long term boyfriend due to being completely unhappy and spending the last 6 months of that relationship feeling miserable and alone, I thought finding someone new would be the best choice. I didn't think I'd be entering 8 months of utter disappointment and heartbreak. Guy one: I met him through a mutual friend (online). He lived around 10 hours away from me but we had a really great connection. Talked all the time, video chatted, played games together, etc. We made plans for me to take a trip up there to meet him and stay with him for a bit. When the time got closer, he started acting distant and weird, then when I confronted him about why he's acting so strange he basically freaked out at me and completely ghosted me. Since I never met him I wasn't too upset about it, just confused and kinda annoyed but oh well. Guy two: I met him on Tinder. We talked for about a week or so before deciding to meet up. Our first date was at the beach, then we had food and went back to his place (no sexy time, just hanging out). He immediately wanted to make plans for a second date. Long story short I saw him 4 times within just a little over a week, just to completely ghost me after he realized I was serious about not wanting to rush the physical aspects of the relationship. Which I made clear multiple times. Whatever, he was a jerk, didn't care about me as a person, just wanted to get laid. Got over it. Guy three: Met on OkCupid, later matched on tinder. We talked for a couple weeks in voice calls and played some games together before deciding to meet up. We had an amazing first date, he invited me over to his place 2 days later. Completely okay with going on my pace, etc. After that we became official. 6 weeks of pure bliss, him telling me he felt lucky to meet his perfect woman his second time meeting someone on the app. Just for him to one day breakup with me out of the blue because he realized he just wasn't capable of being in a relationship. He couldn't handle the commitment that came with it, and mentally didn't wanna be "intertwined" with someone for too long. Little backstory: He was 28 and never had a girlfriend before, never bothered trying cause he never felt the need. His friends basically pushed him to finally try. I was the trial relationship to see if he could actually feel "normal" and want/be in a relationship. Yay me!!! Guy four: Now this is the one that totally broke me, and that if you look at my profile you'll see a post that I made on here about a week ago regarding this man. Like the former, met on Hinge, chatted, had 2 video call dates before deciding to meet up. Had an amazing first date, it lasted 9 hours! Instant chemistry. We saw each other 2 days later, amazing time, was like fireworks. He wanted to make it official, so we did. FOUR MONTHS OF TOTAL MAGICAL BLISS. My god. I thought I met my soulmate. The way this man treated me, the things he did for me, the stuff he said to me... Telling me how he's never been happier in his entire life, I was everything he's ever wanted in a relationship and a partner (backstory: he went through 2 long term relationships that were toxic, neglectful, and had no emotional or even physical intimacy). To make things short: He told me he was in this relationship for the long haul, told me things that indicated we were going to have a long term future together, we spent so much time together like a real genuine loving couple. I TREATED THIS MAN LIKE GOLD. I was so sweet and loving, affectionate, supportive. we never argued, we always compromised. a week and a half before the breakup he wrote me a love letter about how I was the missing puzzle piece in his life, how he never had to worry about his future anymore because he knew I would be in it. 1 week before the breakup he gave me flowers. I hungout with his friends, I met his family and spent time with them often. I spent thanksgiving with them, Christmas eve, Christmas day... On Christmas he made me something that signified we'd be together forever. We made new years eve plans with his friends. Then.. 2 days later.. out of nowhere.. He breaks up with me. Then he turned completely cruel and cold towards me after that. It's like the man I knew never even existed. Treating me like I murdered his kitten or something. Put up with awful relationships for years and leaves a loving relationship that he expressed was so damn amazing in 4 moths. This was one week ago and I'm still feeling heartbroken over it. Even knowing he wasn't the man I thought he was, I still miss the illusion he played for me. Guys, I thought these last 2 men were the real deal but in the end they just played me like a fiddle and didn't look back. I have no interest in looking for another relationship anytime soon, but part of me feels afraid to look again. I'm someone who loves deeply and puts too much trust into people and I see the good in them while ignoring flags due to rose colored glasses... Sometimes I wonder if I was better off staying with the long-term guy I was with, but deep down I knew he wasn't healthy for me. Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. I know I'm not alone out there and everyone has gone through terrible situations at one point or another. It just all really sucks.
Hey guys, it’s Coooolin ! How was everyone’s day!? :) Hope you all had a wonderful one! Let me know how it was downn belooww! :) Here are the new cards for today, Thanks EA! :)
Silver Master Icons
Rob Blake - 91 OVR - LAK / RD - H and S2 , SPE2 ... 89 SPEED , 92 with DIS + SPE Ted Lindsay - 91 OVR - DET / LW - BAL2 , T2 .. 89 FO with T Bernie Parent - 91 OVR - PHI / G - 5’10” / 170 lbs - SPA2 , SWA2 ... yuck — Set needs 9 Icons + Bronze Icon to upgrade to Silver — ——-
Primetimes
NHL
Ryan O’Reilly - 90 OVR - STL / C - LTL1 , T1 ... 97 FOs - Without Thief!! Seymon Varlamov - 88 OVR - NYI / G - 6’2” / 215 lbs - H and S1 , SPA1 Tom Wilson - 87 OVR - WAS / RW - GLA1 , WM1 Erik Cernak - 87 OVR - TBL / RD - HOW1 , WH1 Fredrik Anderson - 86 OVR - TOR / G - 6’4” / 230 lbs - BAR1 , SWA1 Clayton Keller - 86 OVR - ARI / C - PP1 , MAG1 Anthony Cirelli - 85 OVR - TBL / C - SPE1 , SH1 Matt Martin - 84 OVR - NYI / LW - HOW1 , WH1 Jack Roslovic - 84 OVR - CBJ / C - LTL1 , SPE1 Mike Smith - 84 OVR - EDM / G - 6’4” / 220 lbs - DIS1 , SPA1 .... oh babyy Tyler Ennis - 81 OVR - EDM / LW - GLA1 , WM1 Alexander Kerfoot - 81 OVR - TOR / C - PP1 , SPE1 • • • • • • • • • • - - - - - - - - - • • • • • • • • • • • •
Packs Available
23H 40M • Jumbo Elite Pack - 50k C / 1k P 20 items , with at least 11 80+ OVR Players • Mega Pack - 37.5k C / 750 P 30 items, at least 15 Gold Players, and 4 80+ OVR Players • Players Pack - 15k C / 300 P 10 items, all Players, at least 5 Gold Players and 1 80+ OVR Player
• SB Season Reset - Wednesday at 5pm EST • Rivals Rewards - Wednesday at 5pm EST • HUT Champ Rewards - Wednesday at 6am EST • SB Rewards !! - Thursday at 5pm EST • New Event !! - Friday at 5pm EST —————
Summary of the day
Quick Read Best Forward of the Day - PT - is RYAN O’REILLYY OVR 90 with the syn LIGHTT the LAMPP and THIEFF Best Defence of the Day - PT - is ERIKK CERNAKK OVR 87 with the syn HOWITZERR and WORKK HORSEE • Rivals Resets ! Where did you place? ———— —— ———
Important Notice
Day by day may seem like nothing changes, but when you look back a lot has changed. Take risks. Do what makes you happy. Smile more. Laugh more. Have fun!! Don’t take life too seriously , and yourself too seriously.. learn to have fun!! Learn to laugh at yourself if you did something dumb, your mistakes, etc., Life is way too short to just sit and wait... when you can make a difference and big change in your life today! —-
Interested in Stocks?
EA’s Stock Price, after hours - Feb 9 $ 146.11 (usd) —- Currency Converter we looked at the stock at $137.54 usd —— That is a difference of ( $8.57 / 6.23% ) — Disclaimer - I am not a financial advisor. It is your money, please do your own due diligence. I am not responsible for your money. This is *not** advice. I added this section for an added educational purposes only. Thanks* —— —— —— —-
NEED A SOUNDTRACK TO LISTEN TO?
I made this for everyone. I’ll update it whenever I feel like it, but its been often!
WE’RE AT 1400 SONGS! WOW! How are you not listening to this playlist already!? Comment songs to add, and please give feedback! It’s much appreciated!! I currently have “Speechless” by “Dan + Shay” stuck in my head.... which you can play, recently added to the playlist! Sidenote - How do you guys like the playlist!? I have a friend who makes music...and I really want to surprise him with some new people listening to his music... if you wanna help me, please click Here!! it would mean a lot to me!! ———-
Sites To Bookmark!
If you click here you will be redirected to bilasport. Bilasport is the best Online Streaming site for your entertainment needs for all sports! (Not affiliated) A great streaming source recommended by NHLStreams is SurgeSport. Click on Hockey and you’ll be good to go! Want to make your dream team, and show others what you’ve been working on, and much more? I will redirect you HERE!. Here’s a helpful pack guide for you! Click! Want to know how the market is holding up? With a simple TAP! you will be on the newly fresh made website for the HUT market, made by one of the guys on the sub! .... what do the stats on a card mean? Is my card I want / pulled good? Click here to find out!! When is my favourite team playing? When do they play!? Here you can click on this link, and tap on your favourite team. From there, tap “Schedule” . You can add this to your homescreen on iPhone by clicking the square with the upwards arrow, scrolling down, and tapping “Add to Home Screen” ——- —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —- —— —-
Fighting a Gambling Addiction?
Don’t feel scared to click here. Winning is SO much louder than losing. Know that you are NEVER alone. We are all here for eachother, and it is never too late to get help. I am here for you. This is a VERY important thread, especially if you are new to HUT. Here!
Colin’s Thoughts
I got accepted to a College for Business - Accounting !! :) Super excited to see where this leads me! 4 other Colleges to respond back! :) Yay! Also, mighttt have a job at Home Depot! All depends if they phone me back or not, and look at it!! I’m so stoked ! ——- 40 / 365 —— —— —— —- —- ——- —- —— —— Thanks for reading. I’m always welcome to feedback, please let me know what I can improve on. If there’s anything missing, please let me know! Take care, happy gaming! HAPPY NATIONAL PIZZA DAY!! • Coolin Killin It (Life is like a puzzle, you just have to find the right piece.)
Guide to JRPGs you might have Missed or Hidden Gems of 2020.
Hello JRPG fans, this is a thread I decided to make after a request from u/momo400200, I hope this covered the entire year, and if I missed any, then please go ahead and post them and I'll do my best to add them here too.
Update: over the weekend I decided to investigate further, since the more I thought about it, the more I realized that while the text message convo previews I saw gave me a bad feeling, they also didn't give me definitive proof of anything. As a reminder, I had to briefly borrow WS's phone to turn our alarm off last week and on the Messages app main screen I saw one "what you up to" sent on a sat night from an unknown (to me) name, and another alone the lines of "wowwwww" from a name I recognized from the DDay 1 period (a former co-worker). Well, late night I took a deeper dive and it was eerily similar to DDay 1: emailed hotel reservation info for a work trip to a known former AP (just prior to covid), attempts to coordinate similar meet-ups with other known former APs around the same time (funny thing is they actually seem like they tried to turn WS down lmao), straight up pornographic snaps sent as recently as December 2020, a deleted Snap conversation with a DIFFERENT known former AP (another former co-worker) where all I could see was WS had sent "hi" a few days ago. The "what you up to" text convo was deleted. Snap seemed like it's regularly deleted as there were only two active convo threads, both with the conversations erased except for one word greetings. But I saw numerous x-rated snaps under "saved snaps" or whatever. Can't tell who they were sent to, but it sure as hell wasn't me... I feel bad bringing you all bad news, and I assure you this wasn't pain shopping. But I had to be 100% certain before making more definitive moves to break away. This locked it for me. There is no ambiguity around what I found. I can't keep rationalizing this, trying to ignore it, or thinking of how I/we can "solve" this problem. I tried. I'm done being the stable one, the "rock," while my WS continues to blatantly lie day in and day out. I regret not getting out immediately post-DDay 1, but my second best option is getting out now. Will keep you posted with more positive developments when I can. In solidarity with anyone else out there reading who finds themselves in a similar position... Hey all, Longtime lurker, first time poster here. Burner for obvious reasons and mildly anonymized account, maintaining core details. If you'll indulge me, I'm putting it all down for cathartic purposes. My DDay was almost 3 years ago. At that time, I had been married for almost 3 years when I found out my wife had been cheating on me routinely. In the months prior to finding out, my spidey sense had been growing increasingly suspicious that *something* was up. Like many of you here, I made the mistake of trusting my partner so readily, so instinctively, as I assumed we were rock solid. Sure, our marriage had its issues. But they were challenges that we handled together and in many ways bonded us uniquely. We were in our mid-20s when we met in a fast paced east coast city. We were both aspirational, optimistic, and truly loved each other. We just clicked from day 1, the kind of thing you think will never happen until it does. We spent as much time together as possible. It was crazy in the best way. But after just a couple months, things got a little turbulent. We had a child together, unplanned, and this was at a young-ish age (at least by east coast urban standards). So our relationship from then on was generally defined by stress, but also by having each other's back. We went through a lot together in terms of navigating our families (both lean conservative so the unplanned kid was a challenge in various ways, for example). We had some real trauma bonding. The feeling that, at the end of the day, we come back to each other. While our trauma bonding was strong, our "normal" relationship bonding wasn't the best. How could we have the time? Both starting our careers while juggling child having/rearing, it was nearly impossible. I started a master's program, in retrospect probably in a fit of anxiety about the other stuff going on in my life. Once that started, I officially had almost no free time. We were just completely stacked. The thing is, the day-to-day of our newfound stressful life was actually pretty ok for me; I had had a fun college and early-20s post college experience, so I was pretty ready to settle down. I didn't need any more happy hours than I had to go to for professional purposes. I was pretty stoked on the dad lifestyle, truth be told. But my spouse was in the opposite camp. Her entire life had been heavily regimented due to controlling parents. Minimal social life even through her mid-20s, constantly under their thumb. So once we were married and I realized the dynamic at play, I made it a point to ensure that she could go out on a Saturday night w/ her girlfriends or whatever. Her friends, I'd met and generally liked. So I'd stay in and take care of the baby, maybe write a paper or something. Sometimes I'd even have to cover for her with her parents (who ofc lived around the corner) who might ask me why she wasn't answering her phone; I'd say she was already sleeping. Mind you, I had no FOMO whatsoever as I felt like I'd been there, done that, while for her, she still had that social itch to scratch. So I encouraged her to absolutely go out and have a good time. As a working mother with a stressful job, I *wanted* her to go out and blow off steam. The cheating essentially took 2 forms: physical cheating (ONS) with complete randos she met at bars (when out on those saturday nights with the girls), and EAs with people she knew, usually coworkers. These were happening simultaneously. From what I know, there were for sure multiple (4+) ONSs, and at least 2+ in the EA/coworker category (sexting, basically). I don't think the latter ever turned into the former, but it is hard to say. Honestly, when you're talking about multiples of 5+, it starts to lose meaning. I was so so rocked on DDay. It was a thing where I was about to go to bed and saw her phone go off. I'd had the creeping suspicion so I caved and checked. Boy was I in for a surprise at the scale of what i found. Christ. I was then in the final semester of my master's, working on a research-intensive thesis. Hardest few months of my life getting that done after finding out. We went to MC pretty quickly after and I actually felt her remorse was genuine. She ended up getting diagnosed with some psychological conditions stemming from her tough upbringing, which were framed as the big reason why the cheating happened (among many other behavioral effects). I was willing to analyze the situation very holistically, and it truly did make sense. So I swallowed my pride and decided to work to stay together. For our child above all else. In the short term, things got better. Sex life improved, I finished school so had more time, and it felt like we could be more open w/ each other. After a few months, we decided on a fresh start across the country to a state we'd both wanted to live for a long time. Away from her parents, away from our past life. Things felt new and hopeful. First 1+ year went pretty well in the new state. But just before the beginning of the pandemic I had a bad feeling again. She'd been hanging out with some friends of friends who didn't give off the best vibe. Eg, they liked going to strip clubs and were pretty into drugs, albeit in a state where pot is legal. They were into other non-legal stuff too. I'm not judgmental but I just got a bad, untrustworthy vibe from them. I started to notice that she became more guarded again with her phone, just like 2 years before. Spidey senses tingling big time, but I lived in denial for a bit. Didn't want to say it was so even though I knew something was up. Then one night we were playing an online drinking game (this is like early April mind you, so the Zoom boom heyday) and literally sitting right next to me, I saw her sending hearts and such to someone via text. Some of the unsavory characters mentioned in the last graf were present. It was so out in the open. It turned out to be a rando friend of friend who was on the video call on the other end. She said she sent him hearts because she wanted drugs from him, that's all, nothing to worry about, it wasn't serious, etc etc. Talk about a red flag... So she said that she'd lay low on the drugs, and she did for a while. But in the past couple months, I noticed a slow uptick again. Starting to talk more with some of that crew again. It seemed to go hand in hand with the phone guarding, but I didn't initially think as much of it as I might've previously for a couple reasons. E.g., she would openly offer to ask if I'd need to use her phone in random circumstances, such as to follow directions in the car; she didn't used to do that. That made me think that maybe I'm overthinking again and she's just texting a random normal friend; she is pretty addicted to the phone in general, so it wouldn't be a shock. But this came to a head the other night in a weird way. We have an alarm system that is controlled from our phones, and my phone died while it should've been charging overnight (guess it wasn't fully plugged in). I had to go downstairs immediately as the dog had to go out, so I had to use her phone to turn off the alarm. I'll be honest, I braced myself before I opened the phone. I was nervous of what I might see. Well, I caught a glimpse of the Messages screen - not even clicking on an individual conversation, but seeing it among the active apps. And I saw at least 2 convos that were not good. One was a person whose name I recognized from a few years prior (DDay-era), a known prior sexting partner with whom there is no other known relationship. I could only see their latest message, and it said something to the effect of "wowwww." AKA, something you'd probably send in response to a pic, IMO. Or certainly something suggestive. And I saw a random name - definitely not a known friend - with a "what you up to" message sent the night before, a Saturday where was out with some friends. And this was just in the top 4-5 convos, so who knows what lies beneath... I couldn't bear to actually click on the app and see what else I might see. I was re-gutted. I've been gutted multiple times now, to the point that it's hard to feel much. But damn, I felt it again, that gut punch feeling. Many of y'all know it like no one else in my life, so here I am sharing it with y'all. Really struggling with what to do next. I've been in IC previously so thinking I can at the least start that up again and from there, think about my next steps. But damn if I don't feel like this is the beginning of the end of our relationship. I spent the past 2 days trying to act normal while plotting my escape, something I'd never done before. But I think it has to happen. I have to preserve my self (sic). I apologize for the dire outlook as I do believe rehabilitation and rebuilding are totally possible in the right context. People do make mistakes or make decisions that aren't totally rational. I even experienced a brief rehabilitation and even improvement in my own relationship it in the short term. So if you're someone working toward change post-DDay, I want you to maintain that positive change and happiness *is* possible. I have no doubt about that. But at the same time, you have to trust your gut. If it feels off in a bad way, then it might be time to jet. It hurts, but it is good to realize that at the end of the day, you can't change other people. They have to change themselves, and if they don't, then at some point your best option is to change yourself. I think I'm nearly there. Thanks all.
Source: https://www.bungie.net/en/News/Article/49853 This week at Bungie, the Crow has found a new nest. Hello, and welcome to the second TWAB of Beyond Light. We’ve got a bit to cover today, so we won’t spend too much time on introductions. Season of the Hunt kicked off proper on Tuesday. If you haven’t jumped in just yet, we have some wonderful web lore to get you prepared. I wasn’t mentally prepared for part 2...
Wrathborn Hunts have begun. We still have the Deep Stone Crypt Raid, The Dawning, Trials of Osiris, Iron Banner, and more to look forward to over the course of the Season. First stop: The raid.
On Your Marks. Get Set. Raid.
Season of the Hunt isn’t the only thing making its grand entrance this week. At 10 AM PST on Saturday, November 21, the Deep Stone Crypt will become available. Video Link We’ve talked through Contest Mode, shown off some fancy rewards, but we wanted to get in a final reminder before the show begins. World First Verification Timeline Once the raid has been conquered, we will announce that the activity has been completed from @Bungie on Twitter. After this, our teams will start diving into the data to verify that the first completion was clean. Our hope is to be able to announce the winners shortly after World first, but we want to ensure our validation efforts are sound. Ultimately, our goal is to have a post congratulating the winning team on Monday, November 23. Contest Mode Reminder and a Quick Stasis Update Full details on Contest Mode can be found in the This Week at Bungie – 10/15/2020 article. Quick bullets that all should be aware of:
Contest Mode will cap all players at 20 Power below each encounter for 24 hours.
Artifact Power will be disabled during Contest Mode.
Your team’s Power Cap goal is 1230 for all the encounters.
Being above 1230 will not provide any additional advantage in the final fight.
Earlier this week, an issue was discovered where Stasis was doing large (and we mean insanely huge) amounts of damage to bosses. The team worked at lightning pace to develop a fix for Destiny 2 Hotfix 3.0.0.3, thus preventing impact to the upcoming raid! We have a few more notes on general Stasis balancing later in the TWAB, so keep reading if you want to know more! This may not be a piece of Contest Mode, but we wanted to make sure to call this out for those who may have seen an interesting video or two over the last few days. There Will Be Loot Now, it wouldn’t be a race if there wasn’t something on the line. While many of you may have seen these rewards on our Instagram or even a preview on the Bungie Store website, we wanted to make sure to show these off in a TWAB before the raid released!
World First Raid Title (don’t call it a belt) The first Fireteam of 6 to complete the Deep Stone Crypt raid will be declared World First by Bungie from @Bungie on Twitter after verification from our analytics team. Official rules can be found here. Image Linkimgur Day 1 Raid Emblem Complete the Raid within 24 hours with Contest Mode active (by 10 AM PST on Nov 22) to unlock this unique emblem. Image Linkimgur Jacket Quest: Parka Edition Complete the raid by 9AM PST on December 1 to unlock the Bungie Rewards Deep Stone Crypt Raid Jacket for purchase. Image Linkimgur Additionally, there are two deadlines that players should be aware of:
Deadline to Claim Reward Code: December 31, 2020 9 AM PST
Deadline to Purchase: December 31, 2020 11:59 PM PST
…and for those of you who may not be racing, who will you be watching?
See you Saturday. It’s going to be a blast.
Securing the Entrance
Our Security team has been working on a variety of projects to sharpen our tools for cheat detection. In the coming weeks we’ll begin rolling out a new security measure for newly created accounts on PC. Our hope is that this deters some players from breaking the Code of Conduct. For a quick explanation of what’s coming, our friends from the Security team will be taking the stage to walk you through the process of SMS verification.
What is SMS verification? Bungie is implementing a quick account validation step for free-to-play players who want to access our high-stakes PvP modes in Destiny 2 on PC. Free-to-play accounts (PC only) will need to link and verify a cell phone number to their accounts via Bungie.net before being able to access those activities. What activities are high-stakes? Trials of Osiris, Iron Banner, and Competitive PvP playlists are examples. As this feature rolls out, we will be looking to how it can grow, and potentially expanding it to alternate activities in the future. Why are we doing this? Unscrupulous players can negatively impact everyone’s gameplay experience and undermine the hard-earned achievements of others. Bungie takes the threat of cheating seriously. We will continue implementing systems to help verify that accounts engaging in Destiny 2 activities are honoring our Code of Conduct and Terms of Service. What do you need to do? If you are a free-to-play Destiny 2 PC player you will receive a notice in-game the first time you try to access a protected activity. This will provide you with a “Verify Now” link to follow to Bungie.net and process your SMS linking. When you enter your cell phone number and request a verification code you will receive a quick text message with “Bungie Code: ######”. Once you enter that code on the Bungie.net page to complete your verification process you can sign back into the game to get immediate access to the activity you want to play.
Once this feature is live, free-to-play PC players will see an image in-game which will walk them through the signup process. For announcements regarding this security rollout, please follow @BungieHelp on Twitter. We will also release some help articles over the next week to give full details on the upcoming feature! As a reminder, if you encounter any players that you suspect of cheating or breaking our terms of service, please use the in-game report tool and submit a report using our contact form on Bungie.net.
Image Linkimgur Over the years, this community has proven time and time again that gaming does good. You've acted as Guardians of the world, providing aid to people in need, no matter the challenge. We’re excited to announce our next initiative, partnering with Game2Give, starting on December 1! Without further ado, we’ll pass the mic over to the Bungie Foundation to run us through this wonderful event.
Bungie Foundation: Gear up for our second annual Game2Give charity event in support of the Bungie Foundation and Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, benefitting sick kids across the country. We invite the Bungie Community to join us in celebration of what we can accomplish together through games and giving. Starting today, we invite all of our Bungie Community members to sign up to host your own Destiny 2 fundraising stream between December 1 and December 13. We have some incredible prizes for you all at various fundraising milestones. On Giving Tuesday, December 1 at 10 AM PST, we’ll be kicking off a 24-hour streaming marathon with some of your favorite influencers from a variety of channels including Twitch and Facebook Gaming. We’ll have featured live streams taking place throughout the entire 2-week campaign, so be sure to follow us @BungieLove to receive the latest information! We are excited to share the sweet prizes we have to thank our donors for their amazing contributions to help kids. Check them out: Donation Incentives
A $25 donation will earn you the 2019 Mist Blossoms Emblem and Gilded Shell Exotic Ghost.
If you missed them last year, this is your chance to get your hands on them!
A $50 donation will earn you the above items, plus the new Light Keepers Emblem.
A $100 donation will earn you the three items above and will enter you to win an item from the Bungie Prize Pool. Prizes include GameStop/EB Games gift cards (U.S. and Canada only), Destiny 2: Beyond Light Digital Deluxe Editions, and Destiny 2: Beyond Light Physical Deluxe Editions.
Best of all, 100% of donations go directly to the charities. All in-game digital incentives will be automatically redeemed via donors’ Bungie.net ID and will appear in the Destiny 2 Collections tab on or after Tuesday, December 1. This year, we have also partnered with the online fundraising platform Omaze. Gamers from around the world can enter for their chance to win $20,000 to create the ultimate gaming rig and support this fundraising initiative! More details will come leading up to our campaign’s launch. As we head into the holiday season, we want to extend our heartfelt gratitude for each and every one of you, who continue to bring smiles, joy, and hope for Little Lights everywhere. We hope you see yourself reflected in this mantra and hold it dear. We are Light Keepers Those who dare to ignite hope in the face of uncertainty By our united, global passion we protect those in need Making a lasting difference for the Little Lights around the world We are Light Keepers Love, The Bungie Foundation
We’re also planning a few other goodies for you to unlock throughout the event when reaching certain donation milestones. Stay tuned for the full Game2Give 2020 article planned for December 1!
Tuning the Darkness
It’s not often that an entirely new subclass makes its entrance into the ecosystem of Destiny 2. The team has been hard at work over the last year building abilities and Supers powered by the Darkness. Enemies around the solar system are shaking in fear of your Stasis powers, including your fellow Guardians in the Crucible. Depending on when this article goes live, a hotfix may or may not be in the wild. We have some notes from the development team on what’s changing in Destiny 2 Hotfix 3.0.0.3.
Development Team: We have seen a lot of feedback on Stasis since Beyond Light launched last week. We’ve heard it’s a ton of fun to use, but certain aspects of this new subclass can be frustrating to go up against (looking at you, Shadebinder Warlocks). We have a few minor tweaks planned to go out in Hotfix 3.0.0.3 this week. Our goal here is to do some early tuning to rein Shadebinders back in while still maintaining their overall efficacy and power fantasy. Stasis Changes:
Stasis Breakout Damage reduced (110->90hp).
Adjusted the curve that reduces breakout damage using resilience.
Increased the damage reduction effect resilience has so that higher tiers of Resilience are more valuable.
Caps out at 90 Resilience.
Penumbral Blast (Stasis Warlock Melee) projectile speed reduced by 20%.
Penumbral Blast (Stasis Warlock Melee) range reduced (was 28m now 16m).
Winters Wrath Heavy attack (Stasis Warlock Super) no longer affects players who are not encased.
With all that said, we believe strongly in the “cosmic ice” wizard fantasy in PvE so we’re trying to target changes where we can towards the PvP experience specifically. With Stasis we’ve tried to push the sandbox in new directions and that increases the likelihood we introduce something spicier than normal. When it comes to crafting new abilities, we believe the risk of shipping something a little hot is better than playing it safe and shipping something that doesn’t get you excited. As always, we’re going to be using data, playtesting, and feedback to help refine our direction and we’re going to keep responding. This will not be the last change to Stasis this Season. As we get closer to future changes, we’ll make another appearance in the TWAB for a patch note preview. Thanks for playing, and we’ll see you out there in the wild.
Let’s Talk Loot
Since Beyond Light launched, we’ve been working through a whirlwind of feedback. What feels good, what needs work, and most importantly, how are you feeling? Today, we’ll be talking through a bit of player feedback concerning loot, and some short term plans the development team is working on.
Development Team: As Beyond Light has launched we've been tracking your feedback around loot, particularly weapons, and wanted to take a moment to let you know how we are processing it. Today we're going to talk mostly about the short-term, with more information to follow in the future around the long-term as we work through those problems. Infusion caps are intended to help keep Destiny 2 evolving and ensure that every release the new rewards are exciting and relevant to the meta. However, we agree with your feedback that there’s currently not enough variety in the world loot weapons available to players this season. To that end we are adding back in a selection of weapons that will help alleviate this issue. We will also be watching to see how the landscape changes with the addition of weapons from Season 12 and this week’s Raid launch. We also agree that getting near-cap weapons from random world drops is frustrating. Thus, we are removing those from the pool, and are weighting drops more heavily towards newer weapons. Here’s a list of adjustments to the world loot legendary weapons pool you’ll see with our November 24 hotfix:
Remove all legendary weapons that hit their infusion cap at the end of this season
Add all of the Seventh Seraph weapons from Season 10
Add all of the Season 11 seasonal and planetary reprisal weapons
Weight drop chances so the newer an item is, the more likely it is to drop.
While we are not yet ready to dive into the long-term strategy yet, we are listening to feedback and watching how the player build landscape evolves over these first few weeks of Beyond Light, and incorporating that feedback as we plan out future Seasons.
Feedback never stops, and we’re always excited to hear how you’re feeling about Destiny 2. Keep it coming.
Bashing Some Bugs
Image Linkimgur This last week has been a whirlwind. New content, new bugs, and new investigations. Destiny Player Support has a full report of what’s we’ve found, and what we’re still on the hunt for. This is their report.
HOTFIX 3.0.0.3 Today, November 19, maintenance for Hotfix 3.0.0.3 will begin. Below is a timeline of events:
November 19, 8 AM PST (1600 UTC): Destiny 2 maintenance for Hotfix 3.0.0.3 begins.
November 19, 8:45 AM PST (1645 UTC): Players will be removed from activities and won't be able to log back into Destiny 2 until 9 AM PST when Hotfix 3.0.0.3 will be available.
November 19, 9 AM PST (1700 UTC): Destiny 2 Hotfix 3.0.0.3 has begun rolling out across all platforms and regions. Players will now be able to log back into Destiny 2. Ongoing maintenance is expected to conclude at 10 AM PST.
November 19 10 AM PST (1800 UTC): Destiny 2 Maintenance is expected to conclude.
HUNT OR BE HUNTED This week, Season of the Hunt activities and story content unlocked for Season Pass owners. In order to access the Season intro mission, players should make sure to have completed the initial Forsaken and Shadowkeep story missions, which are free to all players. Players should also make sure to have space in their quest inventory prior to interacting with Spider or the Crow in order to acquire Seasonal quests. For more information on Season of the Hunt, please follow this link to our Season of the Hunt Guide. ARTIFACT PICKUP We are currently investigating an issue causing players who acquired the Seasonal Artifact before completing the full New Light Tower introduction to be blocked from progressing in the Season of the Hunt story and missions. New Light players should be sure to complete the full Tower introduction prior to picking up the Seasonal Artifact from Zavala’s office. We are continuing to monitor for reports of veteran players encountering this issue. If you believe you've been impacted by this issue and are not a New Light player, please report to the #Help forum. DESTINY ADD-ONS Players who encounter issues with their Season Pass, expansions, or Beyond Light Character Boost are encouraged to view our Purchased Destiny Add-Ons Help article for information and troubleshooting steps they can take. Click here for more information. PC MIGRATION AND BATTLE.NET LOGIN ENDING SOON Beginning on December 1, 2020, at 9 AM PST, logging in using Blizzard Battle.net accounts will no longer be possible on Bungie.net or the Destiny Companion app, nor will users be able to migrate their Battle.net account to Steam. Users who only have a Battle.net account linked to their Bungie profile are strongly encouraged to either link another platform to their profile, or to perform PC migration to Steam (unless you already have a Destiny 2 Steam account). Click here for more information. KNOWN ISSUES While we continue investigating various known issues, here is a list of the latest issues that were reported to us in our #Help Forum:
We’ve identified an issue where the Vanguard strike Playlist difficulty was unintentionally set to 1100 Power.
We are developing a fix to reduce the Recommended Power of Vanguard strikes Playlist to 1050.
The Exo Stranger’s weekly challenge is mistranslated in languages other than English – players need to defeat combatants with or affected by Stasis off of Europa.
Sparrows on Europa are not properly despawning.
Meleeing as a Titan while using the Stasis subclass can result in a visual of multiple rapid punches.
The lift tubes in the Warden of Nothing strike can close before all fireteam members are successfully through.
The lift tubes in the Warden of Nothing strike fully drain Super energy.
The Warsat Heroic Public Event in the Mothyards of the Cosmodrome doesn’t count completions for objectives.
Yellow subtitles will appear as white even when the yellow option is selected.
The Braytech RWP Mk. II no longer appears as owned in Collections for some players.
High value target reward chests do not grant the proper amount of Glimmer.
The holograms on the Stella Incognita bond and Bond of Last Departure ornament bounce aggressively.
The eyes on the Phenotype Plasticity Mask no longer glow red.
Adored cannot be reacquired from Collections.
In-game PlayStation friends lists are missing large amounts of online friends.
Player heads may not render when inspecting players in the Tower.
Later Crucible rounds may display an inaccurate round timer.
Vest of the Great Hunt clips through the Moonfang-X7 Cloak.
The Titan Shiver Strike and Glacial Quake melee have inconsistent hit registration.
Reaching Power Level 1200 may result in a “New Adventure” popup even though Adventures are no longer available.
An incorrect amount of Orbs of Power may drop than what is displayed to have dropped when defeating enemies with a Masterworked weapon.
In Survival, players may not enter into overtime when both teams have an equal amount of lives remaining.
PlayStation Remote Play controls may no longer function for some players.
Mida Mini-Tool and Drang cannot accept ornaments for their Baroque versions.
Fallen Empire and Stasis Fragment quests can be purchased even with a full quest inventory.
Participant kill audio plays in the Crucible even when not involved in a player kill.
An increase in ARUGULA errors for players completing the Beyond Light campaign.
In the Insight Terminus strike, Kargen will continuously perform ground slams and not allow players to progress past the conflux space.
Combat Drill bounties say they require Clash kills, but actually requires kills in Elimination.
Players may be directed to reacquire the Seasonal Artifact from Zavala’s office when they already have it in their inventories.
The Garden of Salvation and Crown of Sorrow Warlock armor sets are not visible in Collections.
The Unsecured/Outcry ship has the rocket engine effects floating behind the ship model.
For a full list of emergent issues in Destiny 2, players can review our Known Issues article. Players who observe other issues should report them to our #Help forum.
Always Watching
Image Linkimgur We’ve been spending a lot of time over the last week and a half watching players reacting to live events, expansion launches, and more. There have been a few moments where we were watching players taking advantage of some interesting bugs, too. Don’t worry, we aren’t keeping a naughty or nice list. You’re all still winners in our hearts. Well, sort of. The actual winners for MOTW put out some fun videos that creep me the hell out. Festival of the Lost may be over, but there are still echoes of darkness reverberating through our Creations page. Movie of the Week: Truth Video Link Movie of the Week: The Curse of Bad JuJu Video Link Movie of the Week: Risen (Warning – Strobing Lights/Imagery) Video Link If you’d like a chance at our new MOTW emblem, make sure to submit your content to the Creations page on Bungie.net. Tag it with #MOTW, and please credit everyone who contributed to the video in its description.
An Artistic Touch
Image Linkimgur I will always have great appreciation for those with a green thumb, but even moreso for those with a green thumb for art. These skills are earned through hours, days, weeks, months, and years of practice… but I will always be amazed at the pieces we see shared throughout our community. This week, we have an amazing take on Beyond Light, and more. Featured Art: Go Beyond the Light
If you have any Destiny inspired art, make sure to tag it with #DestinyArt on Twitter, Instagram, or whatever image hosting site you use! Each week, we pick a few and grant unique emblems to their creators. I’ll admit, this TWAB has been somewhat difficult to write. Don’t get me wrong, what’s said above is incredibly important! Charity initiatives to help those in need, the upcoming raid race, new security measures, and Stasis tuning are great things to see. It’s always a fun time collaborating with the various teams of Bungie to get you a weekly dose of information. That said, I’m just itching to get back into the game. It’s about time for me to go hunting. See you next week. ...wait, I'll more than likely see you on Saturday for a raid race. Either way, I hope you are in good health, and wish you a good weekend. Cheers, -dmg04
3 Quick Tl;Dr Android Game Reviews / Recommendations (Episode 161)
Welcome welcome, my fellow Android gamers, to this weekly tradition where I summarize the most interesting mobile games I have played this week :) This episode includes an awesome samurai-inspired action fighting game, a fantastic RPG with Heroes of Might and Magic-inspired combat, and an old-school turn-based tactical indie RPG with more features and systems than most RPGs I’ve played on mobile. Disagree with my opinion? Let’s have a friendly discussion below. New to these posts? Check out the first one from 161 weeks ago here. The games are "ranked" somewhat subjectively from best to worst, so take the ranking for what it is.
Let's get to the games:
Ronin: The Last Samurai [Game Size: 310 MB] (free)
Genre: Fighting / Action / Rogulite progression - Requires Online Access Orientation: Landscape Required Attention: Full tl;dr review: Ronin: The Last Samurai is a unique action fighting game with a beautiful "ink wash" art-style and Archero-inspired roguelike progression systems. With only an attack and a defend button, combat seems deceptively simple at first but quickly turns into a game of masterfully blocking incoming attacks and identifying each enemy’s attack patterns. Most importantly, combat just feels great, and any attack or animation can be interrupted to block an incoming attack, which plays a big part in making it feel responsive. In fact, blocking at just the right time allows us to parry incoming attacks, which reduces the enemy’s “Posture”. Once posture has been fully reduced, the enemy gets stunned for a few seconds. The core gameplay consists of a series of one-screen stages that each contain a few enemies, with bosses at every fifth and tenth stage. Every time we level up by defeating enemies, we get to pick one of three available abilities that last until we die, allowing us to gradually grow stronger. We fight until we die, and between deaths, we can then equip or upgrade loot found during combat, or spend gold to unlock random new permanent stat boosts to hopefully progress further the next time – much like in Archero. Ronin: The Last Samurai monetizes through incentivized ads to revive once, an energy system that limits our play-session length, and iAPs for a premium currency used to instantly acquire new loot, buy forging scrolls used to upgrade equipment, and get more energy. If you can live with the monetization and just play the game for 30-40 minutes at a time, it provides a challenging combat experience that is definitely worth checking out. Google Play: Here MiniReview link: Here
Rivengard [Total Game Size: 414 MB] (free)
Genre: RPG / Turn-based - Online & Offline Playable Orientation: Portrait Required Attention: Some tl;dr review: Rivengard is a fantasy-themed tactical RPG with an interesting turn-based combat system that has us build out a large team of heroes to fight through PvE campaign missions, AI PvP matches, guild raids, and much more, while collecting loot and gold to upgrade our heroes and forge better gear. Every hero has unique stats and abilities, and at the start of each match, we select which to use and where to position them on the hex-grid playing field to best counter the opponents. We get to move every hero on each turn, and attack opponents with normal attacks or abilities if we’re within range, much like in the Heroes of Might and Magic PC games. The terrain even increases the strategic gameplay depth by including bushes to hide in, HP-recovering tiles, and elevated platforms that provide a damage boost, and since there is no auto-combat system, each fight is both engaging and fun. Progression happens primarily through completing campaign levels and quests that provide shards, laurels, and gacha tokens used to unlock new and level up existing heroes. While it didn’t hinder my enjoyment of the game, there is an energy system that caps the speed of this progression by limiting our play-session length to roughly 20-30 minutes at a time. Monetization happens through iAPs for a premium currency used to buy chests with resources and items, summon heroes, and recover energy when it has depleted. With lots of game modes and a guild system that the developer is actively expanding, Rivengard is a promising and fun RPG primarily held back by a monetization system that may frustrate some players. Google Play: Here MiniReview link: Here
Grim Wanderings 2 [Game Size: 114 MB] (free)
Genre: Strategy / Turn-Based / RPG / Indie / Complex - Offline Playable Orientation: Landscape Required Attention: Some tl;dr review: Grim Wanderings 2 is a deep old-school indie RPG with turn-based tactical combat, large hex-grid maps, lots of quests and random events, and 25 unique character classes. In either the Adventure or Strategy mode, we travel a hex-grid world to fight enemies, hire new troops in towns, build new buildings, and complete quests or random events – a bit like in Heroes of Might and Magic. Once we’re ready, we can start exploring the many events and locations each hexagon world tile contains. For example, we may travel to a lake and meet a fisherman who we can forcefully ask to share his fish, or even rob. After selecting an action, we're shown eight cards of which we pick one to determine if our action fails or succeeds. While there is already lots to dive into, the developer have an incredible amount of plans for the future, including an arena PvP mode, an endless mode, many more events, and even a game editor that will allow the community to create its own quests and events. The game’s biggest flaw is its complex UI, which, in combination with the overwhelming amount of systems and features that are all available from the beginning, makes the game difficult to get into. There is also no auto-save, which can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you view it. Grim Wanderings 2 monetizes through occasional ads and a 60-minute daily play-time limit, all of which can be removed through a single $2.99 iAP. If you’re ready to dedicate the time it takes to fully understand the game, it may provide one of the deepest and most unique turn-based RPG experiences on mobile. Google Play: Here MiniReview link: Here NEW REVIEW APP: You can search and filter reviews and games I've played (and more) in my app MiniReview:https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=minireview.best.android.games.reviews Outdated (replaced by MiniReview): Sheet of all games I've played so far: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1bf0OxtVxrboZqyEh01AxJYUUqHm8tEfh-Lx-SugcrzY/edit?usp=sharing TL;DR Video Summary (with gameplay) of last week's 3 games:https://youtu.be/188UCN2mcAo
The best part about it is that the app keeps score for you. You can play random opponents online, but to challenge people you know, click on the Friends tab at the top right corner and select These are the best app games to play online with far-away friends while lockdown keeps us at home, including Houseparty, Quiz Up and Facebook Gaming Online smartphone games Words With Friends 2 It's a enduring title, but the world’s most popular mobile word game is one that, let’s face it, is an awful lot like Scrabble. I analyzed some of the most popular quarantine games one can play with friends, and Krunker, Shell Shockers, Skribbl and Bonk all proved to be the crowning champions of providing exhilarating Here are the five of the best apps on which you can play online poker and games with your friends: 1. Appeak Poker App. Appeak Poker has long been among the best free apps for playing online poker games, and it comes with a simple interface that makes online gaming a snap. The app has a Play Now option that allows you to join a quick poker game, in addition to Bingo Bango, sit & gos, MTTs, and Double-Ups. We rounded up 10 fun, mostly-free apps to play with friends in quarantine that aren't boring or lame. Think: Words With Friends, Monopoly, and more. A perennial favorite for a reason, Words With Friends allows you to unleash your long-tucked away SAT prep vocabulary on friends and family. Play with friends or join a random game with other app Houseparty is a video chat app owned by Fortnite developer Epic Games that lets you play popular games like trivia, Heads Up and Uno with friends online. The app is free to use. From the same creators as Heads Up!, PSYCH! is one of the best apps to play with your friends if you are wanting to show off your ability to think on your feet. Encouraging you to “outwit your friends,” PSYCH! offers categories for you to choose from, from movies to scientific facts and pop culture. A perennial favourite for a reason, Words With Friends allows you to unleash your long-tucked away SAT prep vocabulary on friends and family. Play with friends or join a random game with other app
Top 10 - Best Games To Play With Friends 10 Great Online ...
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